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My Successful Harvard Application (Complete Common App + Supplement)
Other High School , College Admissions , Letters of Recommendation , Extracurriculars , College Essays
In 2005, I applied to college and got into every school I applied to, including Harvard, Princeton, Stanford, and MIT. I decided to attend Harvard.
In this guide, I'll show you the entire college application that got me into Harvard—page by page, word for word .
In my complete analysis, I'll take you through my Common Application, Harvard supplemental application, personal statements and essays, extracurricular activities, teachers' letters of recommendation, counselor recommendation, complete high school transcript, and more. I'll also give you in-depth commentary on every part of my application.
To my knowledge, a college application analysis like this has never been done before . This is the application guide I wished I had when I was in high school.
If you're applying to top schools like the Ivy Leagues, you'll see firsthand what a successful application to Harvard and Princeton looks like. You'll learn the strategies I used to build a compelling application. You'll see what items were critical in getting me admitted, and what didn't end up helping much at all.
Reading this guide from beginning to end will be well worth your time—you might completely change your college application strategy as a result.
First Things First
Here's the letter offering me admission into Harvard College under Early Action.
I was so thrilled when I got this letter. It validated many years of hard work, and I was excited to take my next step into college (...and work even harder).
I received similar successful letters from every college I applied to: Princeton, Stanford, and MIT. (After getting into Harvard early, I decided not to apply to Yale, Columbia, UChicago, UPenn, and other Ivy League-level schools, since I already knew I would rather go to Harvard.)
The application that got me admitted everywhere is the subject of this guide. You're going to see everything that the admissions officers saw.
If you're hoping to see an acceptance letter like this in your academic future, I highly recommend you read this entire article. I'll start first with an introduction to this guide and important disclaimers. Then I'll share the #1 question you need to be thinking about as you construct your application. Finally, we'll spend a lot of time going through every page of my college application, both the Common App and the Harvard Supplemental App.
Important Note: the foundational principles of my application are explored in detail in my How to Get Into Harvard guide . In this popular guide, I explain:
- what top schools like the Ivy League are looking for
- how to be truly distinctive among thousands of applicants
- why being well-rounded is the kiss of death
If you have the time and are committed to maximizing your college application success, I recommend you read through my Harvard guide first, then come back to this one.
You might also be interested in my other two major guides:
- How to Get a Perfect SAT Score / Perfect ACT Score
- How to Get a 4.0 GPA
What's in This Harvard Application Guide?
From my student records, I was able to retrieve the COMPLETE original application I submitted to Harvard. Page by page, word for word, you'll see everything exactly as I presented it : extracurricular activities, awards and honors, personal statements and essays, and more.
In addition to all this detail, there are two special parts of this college application breakdown that I haven't seen anywhere else :
- You'll see my FULL recommendation letters and evaluation forms. This includes recommendations from two teachers, one principal, and supplementary writers. Normally you don't get to see these letters because you waive access to them when applying. You'll see how effective strong teacher advocates will be to your college application, and why it's so important to build strong relationships with your letter writers .
- You'll see the exact pen marks made by my Harvard admissions reader on my application . Members of admissions committees consider thousands of applications every year, which means they highlight the pieces of each application they find noteworthy. You'll see what the admissions officer considered important—and what she didn't.
For every piece of my application, I'll provide commentary on what made it so effective and my strategies behind creating it. You'll learn what it takes to build a compelling overall application.
Importantly, even though my application was strong, it wasn't perfect. I'll point out mistakes I made that I could have corrected to build an even stronger application.
Here's a complete table of contents for what we'll be covering. Each link goes directly to that section, although I'd recommend you read this from beginning to end on your first go.
Common Application
Personal Data
Educational data, test information.
- Activities: Extracurricular, Personal, Volunteer
- Short Answer
- Additional Information
Academic Honors
Personal statement, teacher and counselor recommendations.
- Teacher Letter #1: AP Chemistry
- Teacher Letter #2: AP English Lang
School Report
- Principal Recommendation
Harvard Application Supplement
- Supplement Form
- Writing Supplement Essay
Supplementary Recommendation #1
Supplementary recommendation #2, supplemental application materials.
Final Advice for You
I mean it—you'll see literally everything in my application.
In revealing my teenage self, some parts of my application will be pretty embarrassing (you'll see why below). But my mission through my company PrepScholar is to give the world the most helpful resources possible, so I'm publishing it.
One last thing before we dive in—I'm going to anticipate some common concerns beforehand and talk through important disclaimers so that you'll get the most out of this guide.
Important Disclaimers
My biggest caveat for you when reading this guide: thousands of students get into Harvard and Ivy League schools every year. This guide tells a story about one person and presents one archetype of a strong applicant. As you'll see, I had a huge academic focus, especially in science ( this was my Spike ). I'm also irreverent and have a strong, direct personality.
What you see in this guide is NOT what YOU need to do to get into Harvard , especially if you don't match my interests and personality at all.
As I explain in my Harvard guide , I believe I fit into one archetype of a strong applicant—the "academic superstar" (humor me for a second, I know calling myself this sounds obnoxious). There are other distinct ways to impress, like:
- being world-class in a non-academic talent
- achieving something difficult and noteworthy—building a meaningful organization, writing a novel
- coming from tremendous adversity and performing remarkably well relative to expectations
Therefore, DON'T worry about copying my approach one-for-one . Don't worry if you're taking a different number of AP courses or have lower test scores or do different extracurriculars or write totally different personal statements. This is what schools like Stanford and Yale want to see—a diversity in the student population!
The point of this guide is to use my application as a vehicle to discuss what top colleges are looking for in strong applicants. Even though the specific details of what you'll do are different from what I did, the principles are the same. What makes a candidate truly stand out is the same, at a high level. What makes for a super strong recommendation letter is the same. The strategies on how to build a cohesive, compelling application are the same.
There's a final reason you shouldn't worry about replicating my work—the application game has probably changed quite a bit since 2005. Technology is much more pervasive, the social issues teens care about are different, the extracurricular activities that are truly noteworthy have probably gotten even more advanced. What I did might not be as impressive as it used to be. So focus on my general points, not the specifics, and think about how you can take what you learn here to achieve something even greater than I ever did.
With that major caveat aside, here are a string of smaller disclaimers.
I'm going to present my application factually and be 100% straightforward about what I achieved and what I believed was strong in my application. This is what I believe will be most helpful for you. I hope you don't misinterpret this as bragging about my accomplishments. I'm here to show you what it took for me to get into Harvard and other Ivy League schools, not to ask for your admiration. So if you read this guide and are tempted to dismiss my advice because you think I'm boasting, take a step back and focus on the big picture—how you'll improve yourself.
This guide is geared toward admissions into the top colleges in the country , often with admissions rates below 10%. A sample list of schools that fit into this: Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Stanford, Columbia, MIT, UChicago, Duke, UPenn, CalTech, Johns Hopkins, Dartmouth, Northwestern, Brown. The top 3-5 in that list are especially looking for the absolute best students in the country , since they have the pick of the litter.
Admissions for these selective schools works differently from schools with >20% rates. For less selective schools, having an overall strong, well-rounded application is sufficient for getting in. In particular, having an above average GPA and test scores goes the majority of the way toward getting you admission to those schools. The higher the admission rate, the more emphasis will be placed on your scores. The other pieces I'll present below—personal statements, extracurriculars, recommendations—will matter less.
Still, it doesn't hurt to aim for a stronger application. To state the obvious, an application strong enough to get you Columbia will get you into UCLA handily.
In my application, I've redacted pieces of my application for privacy reasons, and one supplementary recommendation letter at the request of the letter writer. Everything else is unaltered.
Throughout my application, we can see marks made by the admissions officer highlighting and circling things of note (you'll see the first example on the very first page). I don't have any other applications to compare these to, so I'm going to interpret these marks as best I can. For the most part, I assume that whatever he underlines or circles is especially important and noteworthy —points that he'll bring up later in committee discussions. It could also be that the reader got bored and just started highlighting things, but I doubt this.
Finally, I co-founded and run a company called PrepScholar . We create online SAT/ACT prep programs that adapt to you and your strengths and weaknesses . I believe we've created the best prep program available, and if you feel you need to raise your SAT/ACT score, then I encourage you to check us out . I want to emphasize that you do NOT need to buy a prep program to get a great score , and the advice in this guide has little to do with my company. But if you're aren't sure how to improve your score and agree with our unique approach to SAT/ACT prep, our program may be perfect for you.
With all this past us, let's get started.
The #1 Most Important College Application Question: What Is Your PERSONAL NARRATIVE?
If you stepped into an elevator with Yale's Dean of Admissions and you had ten seconds to describe yourself and why you're interesting, what would you say?
This is what I call your PERSONAL NARRATIVE. These are the three main points that represent who you are and what you're about . This is the story that you tell through your application, over and over again. This is how an admissions officer should understand you after just glancing through your application. This is how your admissions officer will present you to the admissions committee to advocate for why they should accept you.
The more unique and noteworthy your Personal Narrative is, the better. This is how you'll stand apart from the tens of thousands of other applicants to your top choice school. This is why I recommend so strongly that you develop a Spike to show deep interest and achievement. A compelling Spike is the core of your Personal Narrative.
Well-rounded applications do NOT form compelling Personal Narratives, because "I'm a well-rounded person who's decent at everything" is the exact same thing every other well-rounded person tries to say.
Everything in your application should support your Personal Narrative , from your course selection and extracurricular activities to your personal statements and recommendation letters. You are a movie director, and your application is your way to tell a compelling, cohesive story through supporting evidence.
Yes, this is overly simplistic and reductionist. It does not represent all your complexities and your 17 years of existence. But admissions offices don't have the time to understand this for all their applicants. Your PERSONAL NARRATIVE is what they will latch onto.
Here's what I would consider my Personal Narrative (humor me since I'm peacocking here):
1) A science obsessive with years of serious research work and ranked 6 th in a national science competition, with future goals of being a neuroscientist or physician
2) Balanced by strong academic performance in all subjects (4.0 GPA and perfect test scores, in both humanities and science) and proficiency in violin
3) An irreverent personality who doesn't take life too seriously, embraces controversy, and says what's on his mind
These three elements were the core to my application. Together they tell a relatively unique Personal Narrative that distinguishes me from many other strong applicants. You get a surprisingly clear picture of what I'm about. There's no question that my work in science was my "Spike" and was the strongest piece of my application, but my Personal Narrative included other supporting elements, especially a description of my personality.
My College Application, at a High Level
Drilling down into more details, here's an overview of my application.
- This put me comfortably in the 99 th percentile in the country, but it was NOT sufficient to get me into Harvard by itself ! Because there are roughly 4 million high school students per year, the top 1 percentile still has 40,000 students. You need other ways to set yourself apart.
- Your Spike will most often come from your extracurriculars and academic honors, just because it's hard to really set yourself apart with your coursework and test scores.
- My letters of recommendation were very strong. Both my recommending teachers marked me as "one of the best they'd ever taught." Importantly, they corroborated my Personal Narrative, especially regarding my personality. You'll see how below.
- My personal statements were, in retrospect, just satisfactory. They represented my humorous and irreverent side well, but they come across as too self-satisfied. Because of my Spike, I don't think my essays were as important to my application.
Finally, let's get started by digging into the very first pages of my Common Application.
There are a few notable points about how simple questions can actually help build a first impression around what your Personal Narrative is.
First, notice the circle around my email address. This is the first of many marks the admissions officer made on my application. The reason I think he circled this was that the email address I used is a joke pun on my name . I knew it was risky to use this vs something like [email protected], but I thought it showed my personality better (remember point #3 about having an irreverent personality in my Personal Narrative).
Don't be afraid to show who you really are, rather than your perception of what they want. What you think UChicago or Stanford wants is probably VERY wrong, because of how little information you have, both as an 18-year-old and as someone who hasn't read thousands of applications.
(It's also entirely possible that it's a formality to circle email addresses, so I don't want to read too much into it, but I think I'm right.)
Second, I knew in high school that I wanted to go into the medical sciences, either as a physician or as a scientist. I was also really into studying the brain. So I listed both in my Common App to build onto my Personal Narrative.
In the long run, both predictions turned out to be wrong. After college, I did go to Harvard Medical School for the MD/PhD program for 4 years, but I left to pursue entrepreneurship and co-founded PrepScholar . Moreover, in the time I did actually do research, I switched interests from neuroscience to bioengineering/biotech.
Colleges don't expect you to stick to career goals you stated at the age of 18. Figuring out what you want to do is the point of college! But this doesn't give you an excuse to avoid showing a preference. This early question is still a chance to build that Personal Narrative.
Thus, I recommend AGAINST "Undecided" as an area of study —it suggests a lack of flavor and is hard to build a compelling story around. From your high school work thus far, you should at least be leaning to something, even if that's likely to change in the future.
Finally, in the demographic section there is a big red A, possibly for Asian American. I'm not going to read too much into this. If you're a notable minority, this is where you'd indicate it.
Now known as: Education
This section was straightforward for me. I didn't take college courses, and I took a summer chemistry class at a nearby high school because I didn't get into the lottery at my school that year (I refer to this briefly in my 4.0 GPA guide ).
The most notable point of this section: the admissions officer circled Principal here . This is notable because our school Principal only wrote letters for fewer than 10 students each year. Counselors wrote letters for the other hundreds of students in my class, which made my application stand out just a little.
I'll talk more about this below, when I share the Principal's recommendation.
(In the current Common Application, the Education section also includes Grades, Courses, and Honors. We'll be covering each of those below).
Now known as: Testing
Back then AP scores weren't part of this section, but I'll take them from another part of my application here.
However, their standards are still very high. You really do want to be in that top 1 percentile to pass the filter. A 1400 on the SAT IS going to put you at a disadvantage because there are so many students scoring higher than you. You'll really have to dig yourself out of the hole with an amazing application.
I talk about this a lot more in my Get into Harvard guide (sorry to keep linking this, but I really do think it's an important guide for you to read).
Let's end this section with some personal notes.
Even though math and science were easy for me, I had to put in serious effort to get an 800 on the Reading section of the SAT . As much as I wish I could say it was trivial for me, it wasn't. I learned a bunch of strategies and dissected the test to get to a point where I understood the test super well and reliably earned perfect scores.
I cover the most important points in my How to Get a Perfect SAT Score guide , as well as my 800 Guides for Reading , Writing , and Math .
Between the SAT and ACT, the SAT was my primary focus, but I decided to take the ACT for fun. The tests were so similar that I scored a 36 Composite without much studying. Having two test scores is completely unnecessary —you get pretty much zero additional credit. Again, with one test score, you have already passed their filter.
Finally, class finals or state-required exams are a breeze if you get a 5 on the corresponding AP tests .
Now known as: Family (still)
This section asks for your parent information and family situation. There's not much you can do here besides report the facts.
I'm redacting a lot of stuff again for privacy reasons.
The reader made a number of marks here for occupation and education. There's likely a standard code for different types of occupations and schools.
If I were to guess, I'd say that the numbers add to form some metric of "family prestige." My dad got a Master's at a middle-tier American school, but my mom didn't go to graduate school, and these sections were marked 2 and 3, respectively. So it seems higher numbers are given for less prestigious educations by your parents. I'd expect that if both my parents went to schools like Caltech and Dartmouth, there would be even lower numbers here.
This makes me think that the less prepared your family is, the more points you get, and this might give your application an extra boost. If you were the first one in your family to go to college, for example, you'd be excused for having lower test scores and fewer AP classes. Schools really do care about your background and how you performed relative to expectations.
In the end, schools like Harvard say pretty adamantly they don't use formulas to determine admissions decisions, so I wouldn't read too much into this. But this can be shorthand to help orient an applicant's family background.
Extracurricular, Personal, and Volunteer Activities
Now known as: Activities
For most applicants, your Extracurriculars and your Academic Honors will be where you develop your Spike and where your Personal Narrative shines through. This was how my application worked.
Just below I'll describe the activities in more detail, but first I want to reflect on this list.
As instructed, my extracurriculars were listed in the order of their interest to me. The current Common App doesn't seem to ask for this, but I would still recommend it to focus your reader's attention.
The most important point I have to make about my extracurriculars: as you go down the list, there is a HUGE drop in the importance of each additional activity to the overall application. If I were to guess, I assign the following weights to how much each activity contributed to the strength of my activities section:
|
|
|
| Research Science Institute 2004 | 75% |
| Jisan Research Institute | 10% |
| Pasadena Young Musicians Orchestra | 6% |
| Science Olympiad/Science Bowl/Math Team | 4% |
| City of Hope Medical Center | 1% |
| Pre-Medicine Club | 1% |
| Hospital Quartet Performances | 1% |
| Chemistry Club | 1% |
In other words, participating in the Research Science Institute (RSI) was far more important than all of my other extracurriculars, combined. You can see that this was the only activity my admissions reader circled.
You can see how Spike-y this is. The RSI just completely dominates all my other activities.
The reason for this is the prestige of RSI. As I noted earlier, RSI was (and likely still is) the most prestigious research program for high school students in the country, with an admission rate of less than 5% . Because the program was so prestigious and selective, getting in served as a big confirmation signal of my academic quality.
In other words, the Harvard admissions reader would likely think, "OK, if this very selective program has already validated Allen as a top student, I'm inclined to believe that Allen is a top student and should pay special attention to him."
Now, it took a lot of prior work to even get into RSI because it's so selective. I had already ranked nationally in the Chemistry Olympiad (more below), and I had done a lot of prior research work in computer science (at Jisan Research Institute—more about this later). But getting into RSI really propelled my application to another level.
Because RSI was so important and was such a big Spike, all my other extracurriculars paled in importance. The admissions officer at Princeton or MIT probably didn't care at all that I volunteered at a hospital or founded a high school club .
This is a good sign of developing a strong Spike. You want to do something so important that everything else you do pales in comparison to it. A strong Spike becomes impossible to ignore.
In contrast, if you're well-rounded, all your activities hold equal weight—which likely means none of them are really that impressive (unless you're a combination of Olympic athlete, internationally-ranked science researcher, and New York Times bestselling author, but then I'd call you unicorn because you don't exist).
Apply this concept to your own interests—what can be so impressive and such a big Spike that it completely overshadows all your other achievements?
This might be worth spending a disproportionate amount of time on. As I recommend in my Harvard guide and 4.0 GPA guide , smartly allocating your time is critical to your high school strategy.
In retrospect, one "mistake" I made was spending a lot of time on the violin. Each week I spent eight hours on practice and a lesson and four hours of orchestra rehearsals. This amounted to over 1,500 hours from freshman to junior year.
The result? I was pretty good, but definitely nowhere near world-class. Remember, there are thousands of orchestras and bands in the country, each with their own concertmasters, drum majors, and section 1 st chairs.
If I were to optimize purely for college applications, I should have spent that time on pushing my spike even further —working on more Olympiad competitions, or doing even more hardcore research.
Looking back I don't mind this much because I generally enjoyed my musical training and had a mostly fun time in orchestra (and I had a strong Spike anyway). But this problem can be a lot worse for well-rounded students who are stretched too thin.
Aside from these considerations about a Spike, I have two major caveats.
First, developing a Spike requires continuous, increasingly ambitious foundational work. It's like climbing a staircase. From the beginning of high school, each step was more and more ambitious—my first academic team, my first research experience, leading up to state and national competitions and more serious research work.
So when I suggest devoting a lot of time to developing your Spike, it's not necessarily the Spike in itself—it's also spending time on foundational work leading up to what will be your major achievement. That's why I don't see my time with academic teams or volunteering as wasted, even though in the end they didn't contribute as much to my application.
Second, it is important to do things you enjoy. I still enjoyed playing the violin and being part of an orchestra, and I really enjoyed my school's academic teams, even though we never went beyond state level. Even if some activities don't contribute as much to your application, it's still fine to spend some time on them—just don't delude yourself into thinking they're stronger than they really are and overspend time on them.
Finally, note that most of my activities were pursued over multiple years. This is a good sign of commitment—rather than hopping from activity year to year, it's better to show sustained commitment, as this is a better signal of genuine passion.
In a future article, I'll break down these activities in more detail. But this guide is already super long, so I want to focus our attention on the main points.
Short Answer: Extracurricular Activities
In today's Common Application, you have 50 characters to describe "Position/Leadership description and organization name" and 150 characters for "Please describe this activity, including what you accomplished and any recognition you received, etc."
Back then, we didn't have as much space per activity, and instead had a short answer question.
The Short Answer prompt:
Please describe which of your activities (extracurricular and personal activities or work experience) has been most meaningful and why.
I chose RSI as my most significant activity for two reasons—one based on the meaning of the work, and another on the social aspect.
It's obvious that schools like Yale and UChicago want the best students in the world that they can get their hands on. Academic honors and awards are a great, quantifiable way to show that.
Here's the complete list of Academic Honors I submitted. The Common Application now limits you to five honors only (probably because they got tired of lists like these), but chances are you capture the top 98% of your honors with the top five.
Charlie wins a Golden Ticket to Harvard.
I know this is intimidating if you don't already have a prestigious honor. But remember there are thousands of nationally-ranked people in a multitude of honor types, from science competitions to essay contests to athletics to weird talents.
And I strongly believe the #1 differentiator of high school students who achieve things is work ethic, NOT intelligence or talent. Yes, you need a baseline level of competence to get places, but people far undervalue the progress they can make if they work hard and persevere. Far too many people give up too quickly or fatigue without putting in serious effort.
If you're stuck thinking, "well I'm just an average person, and there's no way I'm going to become world-class in anything," then you've already lost before you've begun. The truth is everyone who achieves something of note puts in an incredible amount of hard work. Because this is invisible to you, it looks like talent is what distinguishes the two of you, when really it's much more often diligence.
I talk a lot more about the Growth Mindset in my How To Get a 4.0 GPA guide .
So my Chemistry Olympiad honor formed 90% of the value of this page. Just like extracurriculars, there's a quick dropoff in value of each item after that.
My research work took up the next two honors, one a presentation at an academic conference, and the other (Siemens) a research competition for high school researchers.
The rest of my honors were pretty middling:
- National Merit Scholarship semifinalist pretty much equates to PSAT score, which is far less important than your SAT/ACT score. So I didn't really get any credit for this, and you won't either.
- In Science Olympiad (this is a team-based competition that's not as prestigious as the academic Olympiads I just talked about), I earned a number of 1 st place state and regional medals, but we never made it to nationals.
- I was mediocre at competition math because I didn't train for it, and I won some regional awards but nothing amazing. This is one place I would have spent more time, maybe in the time I'd save by not practicing violin as much. There are great resources for this type of training, like Art of Problem Solving , that I didn't know existed and could've helped me rank much higher.
At the risk of beating a dead horse, think about how many state medalists there are in the country, in the hundreds of competitions that exist . The number of state to national rankers is probably at least 20:1 (less than 50:1 because of variation in state size), so if there are 2,000 nationally ranked students, there are 40,000 state-ranked students in something !
So state honors really don't help you stand out on your Princeton application. There are just too many of them around.
On the other hand, if you can get to be nationally ranked in something, you will have an amazing Spike that distinguishes you.
Now known as: Personal Essay
Now, the dreaded personal statement. Boy, oh boy, did I fuss over this one.
"What is the perfect combination of personal, funny, heartrending, and inspirational?"
I know I was wondering this when I applied.
Having read books like 50 Successful Harvard Application Essays , I was frightened. I didn't grow up as a refugee, wrenched from my war-torn home! I didn't have a sibling with a debilitating illness! How could anything I write compare to these tales of personal strength?
The trite truth is that colleges want to know who you really are . Clearly they don't expect everyone to have had immense personal struggle. But they do want students who are:
- growth-oriented
- introspective
- kind and good-hearted
Whatever those words mean to you in the context of your life is what you should write about.
In retrospect, in the context of MY application, the personal statement really wasn't what got me into Harvard . I do think my Spike was nearly sufficient to get me admitted to every school in the country.
I say "nearly" because, even if you're world-class, schools do want to know you're not a jerk and that you're an interesting person (which is conveyed through your personal essay and letters of recommendation).
Back then, we had a set of different prompts :
What did you think?
I'm still cringing a bit. Parts of this are very smug (see /r/iamverysmart ), and if you want to punch the writer in the face, I don't blame you. I want to as well.
We'll get to areas of improvement later, but first, let's talk about what this personal essay did well.
As I said above, I saw the theme of the snooze button as a VEHICLE to showcase a few qualities I cared about :
1) I fancied myself a Renaissance man (obnoxious, I know) and wanted to become an inventor and creator . I showed this through mentioning different interests (Rubik's cube, chemistry, Nietzsche) and iterating through a few designs for an alarm clock (electric shocks, explosions, Shakespearean sonnet recitation).
2) My personality was whimsical and irreverent. I don't take life too seriously. The theme of the essay—battling an alarm clock—shows this well, in comparison to the gravitas of the typical student essay. I also found individual lines funny, like "All right, so I had violated the divine honor of the family and the tenets of Confucius." At once I acknowledge my Chinese heritage but also make light of the situation.
3) I was open to admitting weaknesses , which I think is refreshing among people taking college applications too seriously and trying too hard to impress. The frank admission of a realistic lazy habit—pushing the Snooze button—served as a nice foil to my academic honors and shows that I can be down-to-earth.
So you see how the snooze button acts as a vehicle to carry these major points and a lot of details, tied together to the same theme .
In the same way, The Walking Dead is NOT a zombie show—the zombie environment is a VEHICLE by which to show human drama and conflict. Packaging my points together under the snooze button theme makes it a lot more interesting than just outright saying "I'm such an interesting guy."
So overall, I believe the essay accomplishes my goals and the main points of what I wanted to convey about myself.
Note that this is just one of many ways to write an essay . It worked for me, but it may be totally inappropriate for you.
Now let's look at this essay's weaknesses.
Looking at it with a more seasoned perspective, some parts of it are WAY too try-hard. I try too hard to show off my breadth of knowledge in a way that seems artificial and embellishing.
The entire introduction with the Rubik's cube seems bolted on, just to describe my long-standing desire to be a Renaissance man. Only three paragraphs down do I get to the Snooze button, and I don't refer again to the introduction until the end. With just 650 words, I could have made the essay more cohesive by keeping the same theme from beginning to end.
Some phrases really make me roll my eyes. "Always hungry for more" and "ever the inventor" sound too forced and embellishing. A key principle of effective writing is to show, not say . You don't say "I'm passionate about X," you describe what extraordinary lengths you took to achieve X.
The mention of Nietzsche is over-the-top. I mean, come on. The reader probably thought, "OK, this kid just read it in English class and now he thinks he's a philosopher." The reader would be right.
The ending: "with the extra nine minutes, maybe I'll teach myself to cook fried rice" is silly. Where in the world did fried rice come from? I meant it as a nod to my Chinese heritage, but it's too sudden to work. I could have deleted the sentence and wrapped up the essay more cleanly.
So I have mixed feelings of my essay. I think it accomplished my major goals and showed the humorous, irreverent side of my personality well. However, it also gave the impression of a kid who thought he knew more than he did, a pseudo-sophisticate bordering on obnoxious. I still think it was a net positive.
At the end of the day, I believe the safest, surefire strategy is to develop a Spike so big that the importance of the Personal Essay pales in comparison to your achievements. You want your Personal Essay to be a supplement to your application, not the only reason you get in.
There are probably some cases where a well-rounded student writes an amazing Personal Essay and gets in through the strength of that. As a Hail Mary if you're a senior and can't improve your application further, this might work. But the results are very variable—some readers may love your essay, others may just think it's OK. Without a strong application to back it up, your mileage may vary.
This is a really fun section. Usually you don't get to read your letter of recommendation because you sign the FERPA waiver. I've also reached out to my letter writers to make sure they're ok with my showing this.
Teacher recommendations are incredibly important to your application. I would say that after your coursework/test scores and activities/honors, they're the 3 rd most important component of your application .
The average teacher sees thousands of students through a career, and so he or she is very well equipped to position you relative to all other students. Furthermore, your teachers are experienced adults—their impressions of you are much more reliable than your impressions of yourself (see my Personal Essay above). They can corroborate your entire Personal Narrative as an outside observer.
The most effective recommendation letters speak both to your academic strengths and to your personality. For the second factor, the teacher needs to have interacted with you meaningfully, ideally both in and out of class. Check out our guide on what makes for effective letters of recommendation .
Starting from sophomore year, I started thinking about whom I connected better with and chose to engage with those teachers more deeply . Because it's standard for colleges to require two teachers in different subjects, I made sure to engage with English and history teachers as well as math and science.
The minimum requirement for a good letter is someone who taught a class in which you did well. I got straight A's in my coursework, so this wasn't an issue.
Beyond this, I had to look for teachers who would be strong advocates for me on both an academic and personal level . These tended to be teachers I vibed more strongly with, and typically these were teachers who demonstrably cared about teaching. This was made clear by their enthusiasm, how they treated students, and how much they went above expectations to help.
I had a lot of teachers who really just phoned it in and treated their job perfunctorily—these people are likely to write pretty blasé letters.
A final note before reading my actual teacher evaluations— you should avoid getting in the mindset where you get to know teachers JUST because you want a good recommendation letter . Your teachers have seen hundreds, if not thousands, of students pass through, and it's much easier to detect insincerity than you think.
If you honestly like learning and are an enthusiastic, responsible, engaging student, a great recommendation letter will follow naturally. The horse should lead the cart.
Read my How to Get a 4.0 GPA for tips on how to interact with teachers in a genuine way that'll make them love you.
Teacher Letter #1: AP Chemistry Teacher
I took AP Chemistry in 10 th grade and had Miss Cherryl Vorak (now Mynster). She was young, having taught for fewer than 5 years when I had her. She was my favorite teacher throughout high school for these reasons:
- She was enthusiastic, very caring, and spent a lot of time helping struggling students. She exuded pride in her work and seemed to consider teaching her craft.
- She had a kind personality and was universally well liked by her students, even if they weren't doing so well. She was fair in her policies (it probably helped that science is more objective than English). She was also a younger teacher, and this helped her relate to kids more closely.
- She was my advocate for much of the US National Chemistry Olympiad stuff, and in this capacity I got to know her even better outside of class. She provided me a lot of training materials, helped me figure out college chemistry, and directed me to resources to learn more.
By the time of the letter writing, I had known her for two full years and engaged with her continuously, even when I wasn't taking a class with her in junior year. We'd build up a strong relationship over the course of many small interactions.
All of this flowed down to the recommendation you see here. Remember, the horse leads the cart.
First, we'll look at the teacher evaluation page. The Common Application now has 16 qualities to rate, rather than the 10 here. But they're largely the same.
You can see a very strong evaluation here, giving me the highest ratings possible for all qualities.
In today's Common Application, all of these Ratings are retained, aside from "Potential for Growth." Today's Common App also now includes Faculty Respect, Maturity, Leadership, Integrity, Reaction to Setbacks, Concern for Others, and TE Overall. You can tell that the updated Common App places a great emphasis on personality.
The most important point here: it is important to be ranked "One of the top few encountered in my career" for as many ratings as possible . If you're part of a big school, this is CRITICAL to distinguish yourself from other students. The more experienced and trustworthy the teacher, the more meaningful this is.
Again, it's a numbers game. Think about the 20,000+ high schools in the country housing 4 million+ high school students—how many people fit in the top 5% bucket?
Thus, being marked merely as Excellent (top 10%) is actually a negative rating , as far as admissions to top colleges is concerned. If you're in top 10%, and someone else with the SAME teacher recommender is being rated as "One of the top ever," it's really hard for the admissions officer to vouch for you over the other student.
You really want to make sure you're one of the best in your school class, if not one of the best the teacher has ever encountered. You'll see below how you can accomplish this.
Next, let's look at her letter.
As you read this, think— what are the interactions that would prompt the teacher to write a recommendation like this? This was a relationship built up in a period of over 2 years, with every small interaction adding to an overall larger impression.
You can see how seriously they take the letter because of all the underlining . This admissions reader underlined things that weren't even underlined in my application, like my US National Chemistry Olympiad awards. It's one thing for a student to claim things about himself—it's another to have a teacher put her reputation on the line to advocate for her student.
The letter here is very strong for a multitude of reasons. First, the length is notable —most letters are just a page long, but this is nearly two full pages , single spaced. This indicates not just her overall commitment to her students but also of her enthusiastic support for me as an applicant.
The structure is effective: first Miss Vorak talks about my academic accomplishments, then about my personal qualities and interactions, then a summary to the future. This is a perfect blend of what effective letters contain .
On the micro-level, her diction and phrasing are precise and effective . She makes my standing clear with specific statements : "youngest student…top excelling student among the two sections" and "one of twenty students in the nation." She's clear about describing why my achievements are notable and the effort I put in, like studying college-level chemistry and studying independently.
When describing my personality, she's exuberant and fleshes out a range of dimensions: "conscientious, motivated and responsible," "exhibits the qualities of a leader," "actively seeks new experiences," "charismatic," "balanced individual with a warm personality and sense of humor." You can see how she's really checking off all the qualities colleges care about.
Overall, Miss Vorak's letter perfectly supports my Personal Narrative —my love for science, my overall academic performance, and my personality. I'm flattered and grateful to have received this support. This letter was important to complement the overall academic performance and achievements shown on the rest of my application.
Teacher Letter #2: AP English Language Teacher
My second teacher Mrs. Swift was another favorite. A middle-aged, veteran English teacher, the best way I would describe her is "fiery." She was invigorating and passionate, always trying to get a rise out of students and push their thinking, especially in class discussions. Emotionally she was a reliable source of support for students.
First, the evaluation:
You can see right away that her remarks are terser. She didn't even fill out the section about "first words that come to mind to describe this student."
You might chalk this up to my not being as standout of a student in her mind, or her getting inundated with recommendation letter requests after over a decade of teaching.
In ratings, you can see that I only earned 3 of the "one of the top in my career." There are a few explanations for this. As a teacher's career lengthens, it gets increasingly hard to earn this mark. I probably also didn't stand out as much as I did to my Chemistry teacher—most of my achievement was in science (which she wasn't closely connected to), and I had talented classmates. Regardless, I did appreciate the 3 marks she gave me.
Now, the letter. Once again, as you read this letter, think: what are the hundreds of micro-interactions that would have made a teacher write a letter like this?
Overall, this letter is very strong. It's only one page long, but her points about my personality are the critical piece of this recommendation. She also writes with the flair of an English teacher:
"In other situations where students would never speak their minds, he showed no hesitation to voice questions, thoughts, and ideas."
"controversial positions often being the spark that set off the entire class"
"ability to take the quiet and shy student and actively engage"…"went out of my way to partner him with other students who needed"
"strength of conviction"…"raw, unbridled passion"…"He will argue on any topic that has touched a nerve."
These comments most support the personality aspect of my Personal Narrative—having an irreverent, bold personality and not being afraid of speaking my mind. She stops just short of making me sound obnoxious and argumentative. An experienced teacher vouching for this adds so much more weight than just my writing it about myself.
Teacher recommendations are some of the most important components of your application. Getting very strong letters take a lot of sustained, genuine interaction over time to build mutual trust and respect. If you want detailed advice on how to interact with teachers earnestly, check out my How to Get a 4.0 GPA and Better Grades guide .
Let's go to the final recommendation, from the school counselor.
Now known as: School Report
The first piece of this is reporting your academic status and how the school works overall. There's not much to say here, other than the fact that my Principal wrote my recommendation for me, which we'll get into next.
Counselor Recommendation
Now known as: Counselor Recommendation
Let's talk about my school principal writing my recommendation, rather than a school counselor.
This was definitely advantageous—remember how, way up top in Educational Data, the reader circled the "Principal." Our Principal only wrote a handful of these recommendations each year , often for people who worked closely with him, like student body presidents. So it was pretty distinctive that I got a letter from our Principal, compared to other leading applicants from my school.
This was also a blessing because our counseling department was terrible . Our school had nearly 1,000 students per grade, and only 1 counselor per grade. They were overworked and ornery, and because they were the gatekeepers of academic enrollment (like class selection and prerequisites), this led to constant frictions in getting the classes you wanted.
I can empathize with them, because having 500+ neurotic parents pushing for advantages for their own kids can get REALLY annoying really fast. But the counseling department was still the worst part of our high school administration, and I could have guessed that the letters they wrote were mediocre because they just had too many students.
So how did my Principal come to write my recommendation and not those for hundreds of other students?
I don't remember exactly how this came to be, to be honest. I didn't strategize to have him write a letter for me years in advance. I didn't even interact with him much at all until junior year, when I got on his radar because of my national rankings. Come senior year I might have talked to him about my difficulty in reaching counselors and asked that he write my recommendation. Since I was a top student he was probably happy to do this.
He was very supportive, but as you can tell from the letter to come, it was clear he didn't know me that well.
Interestingly, the prompt for the recommendation has changed. It used to start with: "Please write whatever you think is important about this student."
Now, it starts with: " Please provide comments that will help us differentiate this student from others ."
The purpose of the recommendation has shifted to the specific: colleges probably found that one counselor was serving hundreds of students, so the letters started getting mushy and indistinguishable from each other.
Here's the letter:
This letter is probably the weakest overall of all my letters. It reads more like a verbal resume than a personal account of how he understands me.
Unlike my two teacher recommendations, he doesn't comment on the nature of our interactions or about my personality (because he truly didn't understand them well). He also misreported by SAT score as 1530 instead of 1600 (I did score a 1530 in an early test, but my 1600 was ready by January 2004, so I don't know what source he was using).
Notably, the letter writer didn't underline anything.
I still appreciate that he wrote my letter, and it was probably more effective than a generic counselor letter. But this didn't add much to my application.
At this point, we've covered my entire Common Application. This is the same application I sent to every school I applied to, including Harvard, Princeton, and Stanford. Thanks for reading this far—I hope you've gotten a lot out of this already.
If you keep reading to the end, I'll have advice for both younger students and current applicants to build the strongest application possible.
Next, we'll go over the Harvard Supplemental Application, which of course is unique to Harvard.
For most top colleges like Princeton, Yale, Stanford, Columbia, and so on, you will need to complete a supplemental application to provide more info than what's listed on the Common Application.
Harvard was and is the same. The good news is that it's an extra chance for you to share more about yourself and keep pushing your Personal Narrative.
There are four major components here:
- The application form
- Writing supplement essay
- Supplementary recommendations
- Supplemental application materials
I'll take you through the application section by section.
Harvard Supplement Form
First, the straightforward info and questions.
This section is pretty straightforward and is similar to what you'd see on a Columbia application.
I planned to live in a Harvard residence, as most students do.
Just as in my Common App, I noted that I was most likely to study biological sciences, choose Medicine as my vocation, and participate in orchestra, writing, and research as my extracurriculars. Nothing surprising here—it's all part of my Personal Narrative.
Interestingly, at the time I was "absolutely certain" about my vocational goals, which clearly took a detour once I left medical school to pursue entrepreneurship to create PrepScholar...
I had the space to list some additional honors, where I listed some musical honors that didn't make the cut in my Common App.
Here are the next two pages of the Harvard supplemental form.
The most interesting note here is that the admissions officer wrote a question mark above "Music tape or CD." Clearly this was inconsistent with my Personal Narrative —if violin was such an important part of my story, why didn't I want to include it?
The reason was that I was actually pretty mediocre at violin and was nowhere near national-ranked. Again, remember how many concertmasters in the thousands of orchestras there are in the world—I wasn't good enough to even be in the top 3 chairs in my school orchestra (violin was very competitive).
I wanted to focus attention on my most important materials, which for my Personal Narrative meant my research work. You'll see these supplementary materials later.
Additional Essays
Now known as: Writing Supplement
For the most part, the Harvard supplemental essay prompt has stayed the same. You can write about a topic of your choice or about any of the suggestions. There are now two more prompts that weren't previously there: "What you would want your future college roommate to know about you" and "How you hope to use your college education."
Even though this is optional, I highly recommend you write something here. Again, you have so few chances in the overall application to convey your personal voice—an extra 500 words gives you a huge opportunity. I would guess that the majority of admitted Harvard students submit a Writing Supplement.
After a lot of brainstorming, I settled on the idea that I wanted to balance my application by writing about the major non-academic piece of my Personal Narrative—my music training . Also, I don't think I explicitly recognized this at the time, but I wanted to distance myself from the Asian-American stereotype—driven entirely by parent pressure, doing most things perfunctorily and without interest. I wanted to show I'd broken out of that mold.
Here's my essay:
Reading it now, I actually think this was a pretty bad essay, and I cringe to high heaven. But once again, let's focus on the positive first.
I used my violin teacher as a vehicle for talking about what the violin meant to me. (You can tell I love the concept of the vehicle in essays.) He represented passion for the violin—I represented my academic priorities. Our personal conflict was really the conflict between what we represented.
By the end of the essay, I'd articulated the value of musical training to me—it was cathartic and a way to balance my hard academic pursuits.
Halfway in the essay, I also explicitly acknowledged the Asian stereotype of parents who drove their kids, and said my parents were no different. The reader underlined this sentence. By pointing this out and showing how my interest took on a life of its own, I wanted to distance myself from that stereotype.
So overall I think my aims were accomplished.
Despite all that, this essay was WAY overdramatic and overwrought . Some especially terrible lines:
"I was playing for that cathartic moment when I could feel Tchaikovsky himself looking over my shoulder."
"I was wandering through the fog in search of a lighthouse, finally setting foot on a dock pervaded by white light."
OK, please. Who really honestly feels this way? This is clumsy, contrived writing. It signals insincerity, actually, which is bad.
To be fair, all of this is grounded in truth. I did have a strict violin teacher who did get pretty upset when I showed lack of improvement. I did appreciate music as a diversion to round out my academic focus. I did practice hard each day, and I did have a pretty gross callus on my pinky.
But I would have done far better by making it more sincere and less overworked.
As an applicant, you're tempted to try so hard to impress your reader. You want to show that you're Worthy of Consideration. But really the best approach is to be honest.
I think this essay was probably neutral to my application, not a strong net positive or net negative.
Supplementary Recommendations
Harvard lets you submit letters from up to two Other Recommenders. The Princeton application, Penn application, and others are usually the same.
Unlike the other optional components (the Additional Information in the Common App, and the Supplementary Essay), I would actually consider these letters optional. The reader gets most of the recommendation value from your teacher recommendations—these are really supplementary.
A worthwhile Other Recommender:
- has supervised an activity or honor that is noteworthy
- has interacted with you extensively and can speak to your personality
- is likely to support you as one of the best students they've interacted with
If your Other Recommenders don't fulfill one or more of these categories, do NOT ask for supplementary letters. They'll dilute your application without adding substantively to it.
To beat a dead horse, the primary component of my Personal Narrative was my science and research work. So naturally I chose supervisors for my two major research experiences to write supplemental letters.
First was the Director of Research Science Institute (the selective summer research program at MIT). The second was from the head of Jisan Research Institute, where I did Computer Science research.
This letter validates my participation in RSI and incorporates the feedback from my research mentor, David Simon. At the time, the RSI students were the most talented students I had met, so I'm also flattered by some of the things the letter writer said, like "Allen stood out early on as a strong performer in academic settings."
I didn't get to know the letter writer super well, so he commented mainly on my academic qualifications and comments from my mentor.
My mentor, who was at one of the major Harvard-affiliated hospitals, said some very nice things about my research ability, like:
"is performing in many ways at the level of a graduate student"
"impressed with Allen's ability to read even advanced scientific publications and synthesize his understanding"
Once again, it's much more convincing for a seasoned expert to vouch for your abilities than for you to claim your own abilities.
My first research experience was done at Jisan Research Institute, a small private computer science lab run by a Caltech PhD. The research staff were mainly high school students like me and a few grad students/postdocs.
My research supervisor, Sanza Kazadi, wrote the letter. He's requested that I not publish the letter, so I'll only speak about his main points.
In the letter, he focused on the quality of my work and leadership. He said that I had a strong focus in my work, and my research moved along more reliably than that of other students. I was independent in my work in swarm engineering, he says, putting together a simulation of the swarm and publishing a paper in conference proceedings. He talked about my work in leading a research group and placing a high degree of trust in me.
Overall, a strong recommendation, and you get the gist of his letter without reading it.
One notable point—both supplemental letters had no marks on them. I really think this means they place less emphasis on the supplementary recommendations, compared to the teacher recommendations.
Finally, finally, we get to the very last piece of my application.
Let me beat the dead horse even deader. Because research was such a core part of my Personal Narrative, I decided to include abstracts of both of my papers. The main point was to summarize the body of work I'd done and communicate the major results.
As Harvard says, "These materials are entirely optional; please only submit them if you have unusual talents."
This is why I chose not to submit a tape of my music: I don't think my musical skill was unusually good.
And frankly, I don't think my research work was that spectacular. Unlike some of my very accomplished classmates, I hadn't ranked nationally in prestigious competitions like ISEF and Siemens. I hadn't published my work in prominent journals.
Regardless, I thought these additions would be net positive, if only marginally so.
I made sure to note where the papers had been published or were entering competitions, just to ground the work in some achievement.
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As co-founder and head of product design at PrepScholar, Allen has guided thousands of students to success in SAT/ACT prep and college admissions. He's committed to providing the highest quality resources to help you succeed. Allen graduated from Harvard University summa cum laude and earned two perfect scores on the SAT (1600 in 2004, and 2400 in 2014) and a perfect score on the ACT. You can also find Allen on his personal website, Shortform , or the Shortform blog .
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Common App Essays | 7 Strong Examples with Commentary
Published on November 19, 2021 by Kirsten Courault . Revised on May 31, 2023.
If you’re applying for college via the Common App , you’ll have to write an essay in response to one of seven prompts.
Table of contents
What is the common application essay, prompt 1: background, identity, interest, or talent, prompt 2: overcoming challenges, prompt 3: questioning a belief or idea, prompt 4: appreciating an influential person, prompt 5: transformative event, prompt 6: interest or hobby that inspires learning, prompt 7: free topic, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about college application essays.
The Common Application, or Common App , is a college application portal that is accepted by more than 900 schools.
Within the Common App is your main essay, a primary writing sample that all your prospective schools will read to evaluate your critical thinking skills and value as a student. Since this essay is read by many colleges, avoid mentioning any college names or programs. Instead, save tailored answers for the supplementary school-specific essays within the Common App.
Regardless of your prompt choice, admissions officers will look for an ability to clearly and creatively communicate your ideas based on the selected prompt.
We’ve provided seven essay examples, one for each of the Common App prompts. After each essay, we’ve provided a table with commentary on the essay’s narrative, writing style and tone, demonstrated traits, and self-reflection.
Prevent plagiarism. Run a free check.
This essay explores the student’s emotional journey toward overcoming her father’s neglect through gymnastics discipline.
Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
When “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” began to play, it was my signal to lay out a winning floor routine. Round off. Back handspring. Double back layout. Stick!
Instead, I jolted off the floor, landing out of bounds. Over the past week, I hadn’t landed that pass once, and regionals were only seven days away. I heaved a heavy sigh and stomped over to the bench.
Coach Farkas saw my consternation. “Mona, get out of your head. You’re way too preoccupied with your tumbling passes. You could do them in your sleep!”
That was the problem. I was dreaming of tumbling and missing my landings, waking up in a cold sweat. The stress felt overwhelming.
“Stretch out. You’re done for tonight.”
I walked home from the gym that had been my second home since fourth grade. Yet my anxiety was increasing every time I practiced.
I startled my mom. “You’re home early! Wait! You walked? Mona, what’s going on?!”
I slumped down at the kitchen table. “Don’t know.”
She sat down across from me. “Does it have anything to do with your father texting you a couple of weeks ago about coming to see you at regionals?”
“So what?! Why does it matter anymore?” He walked out when I was 10 and never looked back. Still, dear ol’ Dad always had a way of resurfacing when I least expected him.
“It still matters because when you hear from him, you tend to crumble. Or have you not noticed?” She offered a knowing wink and a compassionate smile.
I started gymnastics right after Dad left. The coaches said I was a natural: short, muscular, and flexible. All I knew was that the more I improved, the more confident I felt. Gymnastics made me feel powerful, so I gave it my full energy and dedication.
The floor routine became my specialty, and my performances were soon elevating our team score. The mat, solid and stable, became a place to explore and express my internal struggles. Over the years, no matter how angry I felt, the floor mat was there to absorb my frustration.
The bars, beam, and vault were less forgiving because I knew I could fall. My performances in those events were respectable. But, the floor? Sometimes, I had wildly creative and beautiful routines, while other times were disastrous. Sadly, my floor routine had never been consistent.
That Saturday afternoon, I slipped into the empty gym and walked over to the mat. I sat down and touched its carpeted surface. After a few minutes, my cheeks were wet with the bitter disappointment of a dad who only showed up when it was convenient for him. I ruminated on the years of practices and meets where I had channeled my resentment into acrobatics and dance moves, resolved to rise higher than his indifference.
I saw then that my deepest wounds were inextricably entangled with my greatest passion. They needed to be permanently separated. While my anger had first served to launch me into gymnastics, before long, I had started serving my anger.
Anger is a cruel master. It corrupts everything it touches, even something as beautiful as a well-choreographed floor routine.
I changed my music days before regionals. “The Devil” no longer had a place in my routine. Instead, I chose an energetic cyberpunk soundtrack that inspired me to perform with passion and laser focus. Dad made an obligatory appearance at regionals, but he left before I could talk to him.
It didn’t matter this time. I stuck every landing in my routine. Anger no longer controlled me. I was finally free.
Word count: 601
| The student makes a unique connection, showing how her troubled relationship with her floor routine is connected to her anger at her absent father. However, rather than focusing on her difficult past, she highlights a key moment when she overcame her anger and made peace with her relationships with her dad and with gymnastics. | |
| The essay uses a conversational tone but selectively employs elevated language that fits the student’s vocabulary range. The student uses personification to illustrate her close relationship to anger and gymnastics, such as “anger is a cruel master” and “the bars, beam, and vault were less forgiving.” | |
| Through showing, not telling, the student clearly demonstrates dedication, hard work, and resilience. She also displays her commitment to emotional growth and character. | |
| In the final paragraphs, the student contemplates her troubled relationship with her floor routine and realizes its connection to her absent father. She explains how this insight healed her and allowed her to freely perform without anger. |
This essay shows how the challenges the student faced in caring for her sister with autism resulted in an unexpected path forward in her education.
The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
I never had a choice.
My baby sister was born severely autistic, which meant that every detail of our home life was repeatedly adjusted to manage her condition. I couldn’t go to bed without fearing that Mindy would wake up screaming with that hoarse little voice of hers. I couldn’t have friends over on weekends because we never knew if our entire family would need to shift into crisis mode to help Mindy regain control.
We couldn’t take a family vacation because Mindy would start hitting us during a long car ride when she didn’t want to sit there anymore. We couldn’t even celebrate Christmas like a normal family because Mindy would shriek and run away when we tried to give her presents.
I was five years old when Mindy was born. For the first ten years, I did everything I could to help my mom with Mindy. But Mom was depressed and would often stare out the window, as if transfixed by the view. Dad was no help either. He used his job as an excuse to be away from home. So, I tried to make up for both of them and rescue Mindy however I could whenever she needed it.
However, one day, when I was slowly driving Mindy around with the windows down, trying to lull her into a calmer state, we passed two of my former classmates from middle school. They heard Mindy growling her disapproval as the ride was getting long for her. One of them turned to the other and announced, “Oh my God! Marabeth brought her pet monster out for a drive!” They laughed hysterically and ran down the street.
After that day, I defied my parents at every turn. I also ignored Mindy. I even stopped doing homework. I purposely “got in with the wrong crowd” and did whatever they did.
My high school counselor Ms. Martinez saw through it all. She knew my family’s situation well. It didn’t take her long to guess what had probably happened.
“Marabeth, I get it. My brother has Down syndrome. It was really hard growing up with him as a brother. The other kids were pretty mean about it, especially in high school.”
I doubted she understood. “Yeah. So?”
“I’m guessing something happened that hurt or embarrassed you.”
“I’m so sorry. I can only imagine how you must have felt.”
It must have been the way she said it because I suddenly found myself sobbing into my trembling, cupped hands.
Ms. Martinez and I met every Friday after that for the rest of the year. Her stories of how she struggled to embrace living with and loving her brother created a bridge to my pain and then my healing. She explained that her challenges led her to pursue a degree in counseling so that she could offer other people what no one had given her.
I thought that Mindy was the end of my life, but, because of Ms. Martinez’s example and kindness, I can now see that Mindy is a gift, pointing me toward my future.
Now, I’m applying to study psychology so that I can go on to earn my master’s degree in counseling. I’m learning to forgive my parents for their mistakes, and I’m back in Mindy’s life again, but this time as a sister, not a savior. My choice.
Word Count: 553
| The essay has a logical flow. It starts by explaining the student’s challenges as her sister’s caretaker, describes her breaking point, and then shows how her counselor pointed her toward a new perspective and career path. It also avoids dwelling on negative details and concludes with a positive outlook and action. | |
| The student’s tone is appropriately conversational to illustrate her feelings with vulnerability. | |
| The essay clearly shows the student’s commitment, resilience, and sacrifice through the narrative of her caring for her sister. | |
| The student reveals her honest thoughts and feelings. She also explains how her counselor helped her see her sister as a gift who motivated her to pursue a meaningful career path. |
This essay illustrates a student’s courage in challenging his culture’s constructs of manhood and changing his course while positively affecting his father in the process.
Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?
“No son of mine is gonna march around a football field wearing tail feathers while all the real men are playing football!”
I took a step backward and tried not to appear as off-balance as I felt. In my excitement, I had blurted out more information than my father could handle:
“Dad! I made the marching band as a freshman! Nobody does that—I mean nobody!”
As soon as I had said it, I wished I could recall those words. How could I forget that 26 years earlier, he had been the starting wide receiver for the state-champion Tigers on the same field?!
Still, when I opened the email on that scorching hot August afternoon, I was thrilled that five months of practicing every possible major and harmonic minor scale—two octaves up and two octaves down—had made the difference. I had busted reed after reed, trying not to puff my cheeks while moving my fingers in a precise cadence.
I knew he had heard me continually practicing in my room, yet he seemed to ignore all the parts of me that were incongruous with his vision of manhood:
Ford F-150 4x4s. Pheasant hunting. The Nebraska Cornhuskers.
I never had to wonder what he valued. For years, I genuinely shared his interests. But, in the fall of eighth grade, I heard Kyle Wheeling play a saxophone solo during the homecoming marching band halftime show. My dad took me to every football game to teach me the plays, but that night, all I could think about was Kyle’s bluesy improv at halftime.
During Thanksgiving break, I got my mom to drive me into Omaha to rent my instrument at Dietze Music, and, soon after, I started private lessons with Mr. Ken. Before long, I was spending hours in my room, exploring each nuance of my shiny Yamaha alto sax, anticipating my audition for the Marching Tigers at the end of the spring semester.
During those months of practice, I realized that I couldn’t hide my newfound interest forever, especially not from the football players who were going to endlessly taunt me. But not all the guys played football. Some were in choir and theater. Quite a few guys were in the marching band. In fact, the Marching Tigers had won the grand prize in their division at last year’s state showdown in Lincoln.
I was excited! They were the champions, and I was about to become a part of their legacy.
Yet, that afternoon, a sense of anxiety brewed in my belly. I knew I had to talk to him.
He was sweeping the grass clippings off of the sidewalk. He nodded.
“I need to tell you something.”
He looked up.
“I know that you know about my sax because you hear me practicing. I like it a lot, and I’m becoming pretty good at it. I still care about what you like, but I’m starting to like some other things more. I hope you’ll be proud of me whatever I choose.”
He studied the cracks in the driveway. “I am proud of you. I just figured you’d play football.”
We never talked about it again, but that fall, he was in the stands when our marching band won the state championship in Lincoln for the second time. In fact, for the next four years, he never left the stands during halftime until the marching band had performed. He was even in the audience for every performance of “Our Town” at the end of my junior year. I played the Stage Manager who reveals the show’s theme: everything changes gradually.
I know it’s true. Things do change over time, even out here in central Nebraska. I know because I’ve changed, and my dad has changed, too. I just needed the courage to go first.
Word count: 626
| The essay starts with a picture of confrontation that directly reflects the prompt. It then paints a chronological narrative of the student’s journey toward change, while using the literary device of flashback in the middle to add background and clarity to the story. | |
| The student uses a conversational yet respectful tone for a college essay. He effectively uses dialogue to highlight important moments of conflict and mutual understanding throughout the story. | |
| The student clearly demonstrates the qualities of self-reflection, courage, and integrity without directly claiming to have them (show, don’t tell). | |
| The student offers an honest assessment of his culture’s traditional views of manhood, his reasons for challenging them, and his appreciation for his father’s acceptance of his choices. |
The student demonstrates how his teacher giving him an unexpected bad grade was the catalyst for his becoming a better writer.
Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?
I stared in disbelief at the big red letter at the top of my paper: D.
Never in my entire high school career had I seen that letter at the top of any paper, unless it was at the beginning of my first name.
I had a 4.796 GPA. I had taken every pre-AP and AP course offered. My teachers had praised my writing skills! However, Mr. Trimble didn’t think so, and he let me know it:
“Darwin, in the future, I believe you can do better if you fully apply yourself.”
I furiously scanned the paper for corrections. Not even one! Grammar and syntax? Perfect. Spelling? Impeccable. Sentence and paragraph structure? Precise and indisputable, as always.
Was he trying to ruin my GPA? Cooper was clearly his favorite, and we were neck and neck for valedictorian, which was only one year away. Maybe they were conspiring to take me down.
Thankfully, AP Composition was my last class. I fled the room and ran to my car. Defiant tears stained my cheeks as I screeched my tires and roared out of the parking lot. When I got home, I shoved in my AirPods, flopped on my bed, and buried my head under the pillow.
I awoke to my sister, Daria, gently shaking my arm. “I know what happened, D. Trimble stopped me in the hall after school.”
“I’m sure he did. He’s trying to ruin my life.”
“That’s not what he told me. You should talk to him, D.”
The next day, although I tried to avoid Mr. Trimble at all costs, I almost tripped over him as I was coming out of the bathroom.
“Darwin, can we talk?”
He walked me down the hall to his room. “Do you know that you’re one of the best writers I’ve ever had in AP Comp?”
“Then why’d you do it?”
“Because you’re better than you know, Darwin. You impress with your perfect presentations, and your teachers reward you with A’s and praise. I do frequent the teacher’s lounge, you know.”
“So I know you’re not trying.”
I locked eyes with him and glared.
“You’ve never had to try because you have a gift. And, in the midst of the acclaim, you’ve never pushed yourself to discover your true capabilities.”
“So you give me a D?!”
“It got your attention.”
“You’re not going to leave it, are you?”
“Oh, the D stands. You didn’t apply yourself. You’ll have to earn your way out with your other papers.”
I gained a new understanding of the meaning of ambivalence. Part of me was furious at the injustice of the situation, but I also felt strangely challenged and intrigued. I joined a local writer’s co-op and studied K. M. Weiland’s artistic writing techniques.
Multiple drafts, track changes, and constructive criticism became my new world. I stopped taking Mr. Trimble’s criticism personally and began to see it as a precious tool to bolster me, not break me down.
Last week, the New York Public Library notified me that I was named one of five finalists for the Young Lions Fiction Award. They described my collection of short stories as “fresh, imaginative, and captivating.”
I never thought I could be grateful for a D, but Mr. Trimble’s insightful courage was the catalyst that transformed my writing and my character. Just because other people applaud you for being the best doesn’t mean you’re doing your best .
AP Composition is now recorded as an A on my high school transcript, and Cooper and I are still locked in a tight race for the finish line. But, thanks to Mr. Trimble, I have developed a different paradigm for evaluation: my best. And the more I apply myself, the better my best becomes.
Word Count: 627
| The essay begins with an attention-grabbing statement that immediately captures the essence of surprise requested in the prompt. The story then unfolds in a logical sequence, taking the reader on a journey of unexpected transformation. | |
| The student uses an accessible, casual tone that works well in light of his expertise in writing. His use of dialogue with nicknames and colloquialism brings a conversational tone to the storyline. | |
| The student openly shows his motivation for success and his feelings toward his peers and teacher. However, he demonstrates humility in accepting criticism, responding with a diligent attempt to improve his writing skills. | |
| The essay concludes with growth in the student’s character and self-discipline while his circumstances remained the same. He brings the prompt full circle, expressing his gratitude toward his teacher. |
This student narrates how she initially went to church for a boy but instead ended up confronting her selfishness by helping others.
Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
Originally, I went to church not because I was searching for Jesus but because I liked a boy.
Isaac Ono wasn’t the most athletic boy in our class, nor was he the cutest. But I was amazed by his unusual kindness toward everyone. If someone was alone or left out, he’d walk up to them and say hello or invite them to hang out with him and his friends.
I started waking up at 7:30 a.m. every Sunday morning to attend Grace Hills Presbyterian, where Isaac’s father was the pastor. I would strategically sit in a pew not too close but close enough to Isaac that when the entire congregation was instructed to say “Peace be with you,” I could “happen” to shake Isaac’s hand and make small talk.
One service, as I was staring at the back of Isaac’s head, pondering what to say to him, my hearing suddenly tuned in to his father’s sermon.
“There’s no such thing as a good or bad person.”
My eyes snapped onto Pastor Marcus.
“I used to think I was a good person who came from a respectable family and did nice things. But people aren’t inherently good or bad. They just make good or bad choices.”
My mind raced through a mental checklist of whether my past actions fell mostly into the former or latter category.
“As it says in Deuteronomy 30:15, ‘I have set before you today life and good, death and evil.’ Follow in the footsteps of Jesus and do good.”
I glanced to my left and saw Margaret, underlining passages in her study Bible and taking copious notes.
Months earlier, I had befriended Margaret. We had fourth-period Spanish together but hadn’t interacted much. She was friends with Isaac, so I started hanging out with her to get closer to him. But eventually, the two of us were spending hours in the Starbucks parking lot having intense discussions about religion, boys, and our futures until we had to return home before curfew.
After hearing the pastor’s sermon, I realized that what I had admired about Isaac was also present in Margaret and other people at church: a welcoming spirit. I’m pretty sure Margaret knew of my ulterior motives for befriending her, but she never called me out on it.
After that day, I started paying more attention to Pastor Marcus’s sermons and less attention to Isaac. One year, our youth group served Christmas Eve dinner to the homeless and ate with them. I sat across from a woman named Lila who told me how child services had taken away her four-year-old daughter because of her financial and living situation.
A few days later, as I sat curled up reading the book of James, my heart suddenly felt heavy.
“If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace, be warmed and filled,’ without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?”
I thought back to Pastor Marcus’s sermon on good and bad actions, Lila and her daughter, and the times I had passed people in need without even saying hello.
I decided to put my faith into action. The next week, I started volunteering at the front desk of a women’s shelter, helping women fill out forms or watching their kids while they talked with social workers.
From working for the past year at the women’s shelter, I now know I want to major in social work, caring for others instead of focusing on myself. I may not be a good person (or a bad one), but I can make good choices, helping others with every opportunity God gives me.
Word count: 622
| The narrative begins by clearly identifying the prompt: the event of church attendance. It has a clear story arc, starting with the student’s church experiences, moving on to her self-examination, and concluding with the changes she made to her behavior and goals to serve others. | |
| The student uses dialogue to highlight key moments of realization and transformation. The essay’s tone is casual, helping the reader feel comfortable in the student’s thoughts and memory. | |
| The student displays an unusual level of self-awareness and maturity by revealing an ulterior motive, the ability to self-reflect, and a desire to authentically apply theoretical teachings in a real-world setting. | |
| While the topic of church and conversion is common, the student’s narrative weaves in unexpected elements to create interest while clearly answering the prompt. |
This essay shows how a student’s natural affinity for solving a Rubik’s cube developed her self-understanding, academic achievement, and inspiration for her future career.
Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?
The worst part about writing is putting down my Rubik’s cube so that I can use my hands to type. That’s usually the worst part of tackling my to-do list: setting aside my Rubik’s cube. My parents call it an obsession. But, for me, solving a Rubik’s cube challenges my brain as nothing else can.
It started on my ninth birthday. I invited three friends for a sleepover party, and I waited to open my presents right before bed. Wrapping paper, ribbons, and bows flew through the air as I oohed and aahed over each delightful gift! However, it was the last gift—a 3 x 3 x 3 cube of little squares covered in red, green, blue, yellow, white, and orange—that intrigued me.
I was horrified when Bekka ripped it out of my hands and messed it all up! I had no idea how to make all the sides match again. I waited until my friends were fast asleep. Then, I grabbed that cube and studied it under my blanket with a flashlight, determined to figure out how to restore it to its former pristine state.
Within a few weeks, I had discovered the secret. To practice, I’d take my cube with me to recess and let the other kids time me while I solved it in front of them. The better I became, the more they gathered around. But I soon realized that their attention didn’t matter all that much. I loved solving cubes for hours wherever I was: at lunch, riding in the car, or alone in my room.
Cross. White corners. Middle-layer edges. Yellow cross. Sune and anitsune.
The sequential algorithms became second nature, and with the assistance of a little black digital timer, I strove to solve the cube faster , each time attempting to beat my previous record. I watched speed solvers on YouTube, like Australia’s Feliks Zemdegs and Max Park from Massachusetts, but I wasn’t motivated to compete as they did. I watched their videos to learn how to improve my time. I liked finding new, more efficient ways of mastering the essential 78 separate cube-solving algorithms.
Now, I understand why my passion for my Rubik’s cube has never waned. Learning and applying the various algorithms soothes my brain and centers my emotions, especially when I feel overwhelmed from being around other people. Don’t get me wrong: I like other people—just in doses.
While some people get recharged by spending time with others, I can finally breathe when I’m alone with my cube. Our psychology teacher says the difference between an extrovert and an introvert is the situations that trigger their brains to produce dopamine. For me, it’s time away, alone, flipping through cube patterns to set a new personal best.
Sometimes, the world doesn’t cooperate with introverts, requiring them to interact with many people throughout the day. That’s why you’ll often find me in the stairwell or a library corner attempting to master another one of the 42 quintillion ways to solve a cube. My parents tease me that when I’ve “had enough” of anything, my fingers get a Rubik’s itch, and I suddenly disappear. I’m usually occupied for a while, but when I finally emerge, I feel centered, prepared to tackle my next task.
Secretly, I credit my cube with helping me earn top marks in AP Calculus, Chemistry, and Physics. It’s also responsible for my interest in computer engineering. It seems I just can’t get enough of those algorithms, which is why I want to study the design and implementation of cybersecurity software—all thanks to my Rubik’s cube.
Just don’t tell my parents! It would ruin all the fun!
Word count: 607
| The student immediately captures the reader’s attention with an unexpected statement that captures the prompt’s focus on captivation. Her writing clearly illustrates her love for the Rubik’s cube, showing how the cube has helped her emotionally and academically and inspired her choice of major. | |
| The student uses a conversational tone while inserting elevated language and concepts that surround her field of interest. She also uses the “I” to personalize her experience. | |
| Through her detailed narrative of her Rubik’s cube hobby, the student demonstrates perseverance, focus, curiosity, and an uncanny ability to solve problems. | |
| The student shows awareness of her introversion by explaining how the Rubik’s cube helps her emotionally recharge. She also credits her hobby with helping her in her studies and inspiring her intended major. |
In this free topic essay, the student uses a montage structure inspired by the TV show Iron Chef America to demonstrate his best leadership moments.
Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.
Iron Chef America: College Essay Edition
The time has come to answer college’s most difficult question: Whose story shows glory?
This is … Iron Chef America: College Essay Edition!
Welcome to Kitchen Stadium! Today we have Chef Brett Lowell. Chef Brett will be put to the test to prove he has what it takes to attend university next fall.
And the secret ingredient is … leadership! He must include leadership in each of his dishes, which will later be evaluated by a panel of admissions judges.
So now, America, with a creative mind and empty paper, I say unto you in the words of my teacher: “Let’s write!”
Appetizer: My first leadership experience
A mountain of mismatched socks, wrinkled jeans, and my dad’s unironed dress shirts sat in front of me. Laundry was just one of many chores that welcomed me home once I returned from my after-school job at Baskin Robbins, a gig I had taken last year to help Dad pay the rent. A few years earlier, I wasn’t prepared to cook dinners, pay utility bills, or pick up and drop off my brothers. I thought those jobs were reserved for parents. However, when my father was working double shifts at the power plant and my mom was living in Tucson with her new husband, Bill, I stepped up and took care of the house and my two younger brothers.
Main course: My best leadership experience
Between waiting for the pasta water to boil and for the next laundry cycle to be finished, I squeezed in solving a few practice precalculus problems to prepare for the following week’s mathletics competition. I liked how the equations always had clear, clean answers, which calmed me among the mounting responsibilities of home life. After leading my team to the Minnesota State Finals for two years in a row, I was voted team captain. Although my home responsibilities often competed with my mathlete duties, I tried to be as productive as possible in my free time. On the bus ride home, I would often tackle 10 to 20 functions or budget the following week’s meals and corresponding grocery list. My junior year was rough, but both my home and my mathlete team needed me.
Dessert: My future leadership hopes
The first thing I ever baked was a chocolate cake in middle school. This was around the time that Mom had just moved out and I was struggling with algebra. Troubles aside, one day my younger brother Simon needed a contribution for his school’s annual bake sale, and the PTA moms wouldn’t accept anything store-bought. So I carefully measured out the teaspoons and cups of various flours, powders, and oils, which resulted in a drooping, too-salty disaster.
Four years later, after a bakery’s worth of confections and many hours of study, I’ve perfected my German chocolate cake and am on my way to mastering Calculus AB. I’ve also thrown out the bitter-tasting parts of my past such as my resentment and anger toward my mom. I still miss having her at home, but whenever I have a baking question or want to update her on my mathlete team’s success, I call her or chat with her over text.
Whether in school or life, I see problems as opportunities, not obstacles, to find a better way to solve them more efficiently. I hope to continue improving my problem-solving skills next fall by majoring in mathematics and statistics.
Time’s up!
We hope you’ve enjoyed this tasting of Chef Lowell’s leadership experiences. Next fall, tune in to see him craft new leadership adventures in college. He’s open to refining his technique and discovering new recipes.
Word count: 612
| The student uses a popular TV cooking show as an unexpected concept to display his leadership abilities. Since the prompt is open-ended, the student has more room to craft his response. | |
| The essay juxtaposes the contrived nature of a TV show’s script with a conversational narrative of the student’s leadership stories. | |
| Each story effectively showcases the student’s leadership by showing, not telling. Rather than saying “I’m a great leader,” he provides specific instances of his best moments of demonstrated leadership. | |
| The student honestly shares his reservations about his mother’s new life but shows how he was able to reconcile aspects of their relationship as time passed. |
If you want to know more about academic writing , effective communication , or parts of speech , make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples.
Academic writing
- Writing process
- Transition words
- Passive voice
- Paraphrasing
Communication
- How to end an email
- Ms, mrs, miss
- How to start an email
- I hope this email finds you well
- Hope you are doing well
Parts of speech
- Personal pronouns
- Conjunctions
The Common App essay is your primary writing sample within the Common Application, a college application portal accepted by more than 900 schools. All your prospective schools that accept the Common App will read this essay to understand your character, background, and value as a potential student.
Since this essay is read by many colleges, avoid mentioning any college names or programs; instead, save tailored answers for the supplementary school-specific essays within the Common App.
When writing your Common App essay , choose a prompt that sparks your interest and that you can connect to a unique personal story.
No matter which prompt you choose, admissions officers are more interested in your ability to demonstrate personal development , insight, or motivation for a certain area of study.
To decide on a good college essay topic , spend time thoughtfully answering brainstorming questions. If you still have trouble identifying topics, try the following two strategies:
- Identify your qualities → Brainstorm stories that demonstrate these qualities
- Identify memorable stories → Connect your qualities to these stories
You can also ask family, friends, or mentors to help you brainstorm topics, give feedback on your potential essay topics, or recall key stories that showcase your qualities.
A standout college essay has several key ingredients:
- A unique, personally meaningful topic
- A memorable introduction with vivid imagery or an intriguing hook
- Specific stories and language that show instead of telling
- Vulnerability that’s authentic but not aimed at soliciting sympathy
- Clear writing in an appropriate style and tone
- A conclusion that offers deep insight or a creative ending
Cite this Scribbr article
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Courault, K. (2023, May 31). Common App Essays | 7 Strong Examples with Commentary. Scribbr. Retrieved September 3, 2024, from https://www.scribbr.com/college-essay/common-app-examples/
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50 Successful Harvard Application Essays: What Worked for Them Can Help You Get into the College of Your ChoiceWith talented applicants coming from the top high schools in the country as well as the pressure to succeed from family and friends, it’s no wonder that writing college application essays is one of the most stressful times for high schoolers like you. Add in how hard it is to get started or brag about your accomplishments or order your stories for maximum effect, and it becomes obvious why this is no easy task. To help, this completely new edition of 50 Successful Harvard Application Essays gives you the most inspiring approaches, both conventional and creative, that won over admissions officers at Harvard University, one of the nation’s top ranked colleges. From chronicling personal achievements to detailing unique talents, the topics covered with these essays will open you up to new possibilities and techniques for putting your best foot forward. Each essay in this collection is from a Harvard student who made the cut and is followed by analysis by the staff of The Harvard Crimson where strengths and weakness are detailed to show you how you can approach your stories and ultimately write your own winning essay. It teaches you how to: * Get started * Stand out * Structure the best possible essay * Avoid common pitfalls 50 Successful Harvard Application Essays’ all-new examples and straightforward advice make it the first stop for applicants who are looking to craft a clear, passionate, and, above all else, persuasive application essays that’ll get you accepted to the school of your dreams. There are no customer reviews for this item yet. Classic Totes Tote bags and pouches in a variety of styles, sizes, and designs , plus mugs, bookmarks, and more! Shipping & Pickup We ship anywhere in the U.S. and orders of $75+ ship free via media mail! Noteworthy Signed Books: Join the Club! Join our Signed First Edition Club (or give a gift subscription) for a signed book of great literary merit, delivered to you monthly.  Harvard Square's Independent Bookstore © 2024 Harvard Book Store All rights reserved Contact Harvard Book Store 1256 Massachusetts Avenue Cambridge, MA 02138 Tel (617) 661-1515 Toll Free (800) 542-READ Email [email protected] View our current hours » Join our bookselling team » We plan to remain closed to the public for two weeks, through Saturday, March 28 While our doors are closed, we plan to staff our phones, email, and harvard.com web order services from 10am to 6pm daily. Store Hours Monday - Saturday: 9am - 11pm Sunday: 10am - 10pm Holiday Hours 12/24: 9am - 7pm 12/25: closed 12/31: 9am - 9pm 1/1: 12pm - 11pm All other hours as usual. Map Find Harvard Book Store » Online Customer Service Shipping » Online Returns » Privacy Policy » Harvard University harvard.edu » 
What are your chances of acceptance?Calculate for all schools, your chance of acceptance. Your chancing factorsExtracurriculars.  Harvard University Essay Example Harvard University is a highly-selective school, so it’s important to write strong essays to help your application stand out. In this post, we’ll share an essay a real student has submitted to Harvard. (Names and identifying information have been changed, but all other details are preserved). Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. Read our Harvard essay breakdown to get a comprehensive overview of this year’s supplemental prompts. Prompt: Travel, living, or working experiences in your own or other communities A scream in the night. In the town of Montagu, South Africa, the sun had set hours ago, leaving its place to a deep dark sky. Everything was peaceful and quiet. In a little lodge, a family of four people had just finished eating on a dimly lit terrace. The heat was so intense even the black silence seemed to suffocate – only a few crickets dared to break its density. The mother asked something to her daughter, who stood up, and bypassed the table. That’s when she screamed. An intense, long scream, that reverberated in the little town of Montagu. How do I know that? It was me. Me, miserable as I had fallen down the terrace… into a plantation of cacti! I couldn’t move. I felt as if each cactus thorn contained poison that spread through my back, my arms, my entire body. The plants were engulfing me into the darkness. I was suffocating, trying to grasp some of the hot, heavy air. Until I felt her hand. My mom’s. She and my father organized this trip to South Africa. Valuing experiences more than material wealth, they liked to organize trips to foreign, far away countries. In addition to South Africa, I visited Cuba, Nepal and China. Four countries where landscapes and cities are dissimilar to France’s. Four countries that allowed me to discover numerous communities, recipes and traditions. Four countries where I met animals, plants and humans I had never seen before. I am a city girl. As a little girl, I was never really fond of flora or fauna. However, during my trips, I was lucky to see animals in freedom and to interact with nature. A baboon broke into my car in South Africa and walked all over me – literally. I held an iguana in Cuba, did a safari in South Africa and talked with a parrot in Nepal. I saw the sun rising on the Machapuchare. I ultimately understood that all I had experienced was thanks to Nature. I realized its preciousness and its urgency to be saved. I gained proximity to the environment that I had always lacked. My blood turned green thanks to travels. In addition to animal discoveries, travels are encounter engines. From little to aged humans, from all genders, from everywhere, travels allowed me to meet incredible people. The uncanny apparition of a mysterious little girl particularly touched me in Ghorepani, Nepal. I had walked for seven hours that day, and was waiting for dinner, sitting on a bench. She slowly advanced towards me. “What’s your name?” I asked the white figure in the obscurity. The little girl stopped moving. Dark curly hair, dark deep eyes, white clothes covered in mud among the deep dark night. Our eyes locked in each other’s, the sound of our breathing floating in the dense silence, everything seemed to be suspended. After what felt like dozens of hours, she looked at me and silently walked away, a star in the ink black sky. Every person encountered made me grow. Some like the Nepalese little girl simply disrupted me, some opened my eyes on poverty, others opened my eyes on racism. Every person I met had a story to share, a fact to transmit. I visited an orphanage in a township in South Africa. The teacher, a frail and tiny woman, explained that racism was still so profound in the country that black and mixed race people were fighting to death in the neighbourhood. Centuries of abuse towards people of color, for children to pay the price, growing up parentless in the orphanage. The sound of the rain was echoing on the metal houses as the children sang their anthem. Wet furrows appeared as raindrops were racing on every cheek: ‘Let us live and strive for freedom, In South Africa our land.’ Traveling is ultimately a chance. It is an opportunity to understand the complexity of the world by getting close to it. Traveling allowed me to realize the differences between each country and region. But beyond those dissimilarities, I saw singing, dancing and laughing everywhere in the world. Being away brought me closer to my home and my family and friends, my newspaper team, every community I’m involved in. Traveling represents a learning process. I integrated leadership and diligence in Nepal, watching children and old men transport wood on their back. Speaking foreign languages allowed me to acquire experience and put my theoretical skills to practise. I acquired a lot of adaptability through travels as part of their greatness comes from its unpredictability. Traveling truly enriches the intellect of those who have the chance to do it. What the Essay Did WellThis is overall a delightful, very readable essay. The author starts with a dramatic hook to capture the reader’s attention, and they build on that initial story with vivid imagery like “ I felt as if each cactus thorn contained poison that spread through my back, my arms, my entire body.” In general, the language is strong throughout the entire essay. Other beautiful gems include, “The sound of the rain was echoing on the metal houses as the children sang their anthem” and, “The uncanny apparition of a mysterious little girl particularly touched me.” The author has a way with words, and they proudly demonstrate it in their response. In addition to strong imagery, the author also does a satisfactory job at answering the prompt. The open-ended question not only means that students could answer in a variety of ways, but also that it might be easy to fall into a trap of answering in an unrelated or uninteresting manner. The author here does a good job of directly answering the prompt by providing clear examples of their travels around the world. Their response also goes beyond merely listing experiences; rather, they tell stories and describe some of the notable people they have met along the way. By telling stories and adopting a whimsical tone that evokes the wanderlust of travel, they elevate the impact of their response. We also learn a fair amount about the author through their stories and personal reflections. We see that they are concerned about social justice through their retelling of the interactions in South Africa. We see them reflecting on the universal joys of singing and dancing: “ But beyond those dissimilarities, I saw singing, dancing and laughing everywhere in the world.” In the closing paragraph, we learn that they are adaptable and willing to undergo lifelong learning. Thus, another reason this essay shines is because it not only tells us what travels/experiences the author has engaged in, but it provides deeper introspection regarding how they have grown from these experiences. What Could Be ImprovedWhile the essay is beautiful, and the fast-moving pace matches the feeling of seeing unfamiliar places for the first time, the narrative runs the risk of being too wide-ranging. The introductory story of falling onto a bed of cacti could warrant an entire essay unto itself, yet the author does not return to it anywhere else in their response. They missed an opportunity to bring the response full circle by ruminating on that once more in their conclusion. Another thing to be careful of is how the privilege inherent in international travel might cause the author to see the life through a certain lens. Although they remark upon how their family prioritizes experiences over material wealth, the fact is that extensive international travel relies on having material wealth to pay for costs like airfare and housing. It is important to demonstrate humility and awareness of privilege when responding to college essay prompts, and this is no exception. Where to Get Your Harvard University Essays EditedDo you want feedback on your Harvard University essays? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school! Related CollegeVine Blog Posts Harvard Essays ExamplesHarvard essays examples . One of the most important parts of the college application process is the essay section. Especially when you’re looking at applying to Harvard , or any of the Ivy League schools, your essays need to stand out. Looking at Harvard essays examples can help give you an idea of Harvard essays that worked and stood out to the admissions team. Many students find the Harvard essays, or any school’s essays, to be the most stressful part of applying. Reading plenty of Harvard essays examples can help to alleviate that stress. Understanding strong points of Harvard essays that worked will allow you to craft the most competitive application possible. In this Harvard Essays Example article, we’ll look at:
Before we dive into some Harvard essays that worked, let’s understand the Harvard essay requirements. How many essays do you have to write for Harvard?Harvard requires applicants to complete a total of six essays: five supplemental essays and the personal statement . The personal statement prompt will be based on the application platform you are using, such as the Common Application or Coalition Application. Most students use the Common App platform and complete the Common App essay , choosing the prompt that most speaks to them. In addition to the personal statement, students must also submit five short answer Harvard application essays. Each of these Harvard essays has a 200 word maximum. This article focuses on Harvard essays examples for those shorter essays. What are the Harvard essay requirements?We know that applicants are required to complete the Common App personal statement in addition to five Harvard essay prompts. Now, we’ll take a look at the current Harvard essay prompts. However, keep in mind that the Harvard essays can change. Be sure to double check the admissions site for the most up-to-date information. Here are the current Harvard essay prompts: Harvard University Essay Prompts1. harvard has long recognized the importance of enrolling a diverse student body. how will the life experiences that shape who you are today enable you to contribute to harvard, 2. briefly describe an intellectual experience that was important to you. , 3. briefly describe any of your extracurricular activities, employment experience, travel, or family responsibilities that have shaped who you are., 4. how do you hope to use your harvard education in the future, 5. top 3 things your roommates might like to know about you. . Next, we’re going to look at some Harvard essays that worked. Keep in mind that reading and analyzing Harvard essay examples can be very helpful when writing your own college essays. These Harvard essay examples, even if not for current essay prompts, can provide insights into writing outstanding essays to impress Harvard admissions. Harvard Diversity Essay ExamplesAll universities want to have a diverse student body. Diversity brings unique perspectives to campus that can promote important conversations. In recent years, more and more universities have students write a diversity or community essay . Let’s take a look at the first of our Harvard essays examples, which writes about diversity at Harvard. Harvard has long recognized the importance of enrolling a diverse student body. How will the life experiences that shape who you are today enable you to contribute to Harvard?I have spent most of my life living in a 41% minority town of 1.8 square miles called Highland Park, NJ. HP has convinced me that we can build institutions that are strong and united while embracing a wide variety of voices and perspectives. It has shaped my core values of diversity and inclusion. An English teacher used to encourage me to talk in front of the class by saying even if I believed my thoughts were “dumb,” I could only enrich the conversation. From my experiences debating in Model UN conferences, I have grown accustomed to being able to present viewpoints from both sides of the argument and to being able to incorporate and respect the viewpoints of all sides of an issue before making up my own mind. At Harvard, I will seek to continue my contributions as an active participant in the community and look to actively provide unique perspectives and insights. I will actively participate in student life and engage in public service, such as helping provide after-school tutoring and joining health awareness campaigns. I look forward to a new set of unique experiences at Harvard University. Why this essay workedIn this diversity essay, the student does an excellent job of clearly and specifically answering the prompt. The use of statistics and experiences specific to the student’s hometown makes it clear that this is no generic response. Additionally, the statistics support the student’s point that they come from a diverse community, while their examples illustrate their character. Later, the student speaks about how they have shared their unique perspectives. While doing this, the student also shows that they are active in extracurriculars. Furthermore, they show that they are able to bring their learnings from debating in Model UN into the real world. Finally, the student shows how they will bring diversity to Harvard’s campus. Admissions teams want to know how you’ll positively impact their campus. This student specifically states how they will be an active member of the student body and Harvard community. Clear goals and areas of interest are a common feature of successful Harvard essays examples. Harvard Essay Example – Intellectual ExperienceTo get into a competitive school like Harvard University , students will need to do much more than simply meet the Harvard requirements. This is where your Harvard essays come into play. Each of the Harvard application essays should show that you are a motivated, curious person, especially the intellectual experience essay. Now, let’s take a look at the second of the Harvard essay examples: Briefly describe an intellectual experience that was important to you.One of the most valuable experiences I have had was at the Rutgers University WINLAB internship. While I was moderately fluent in many programming languages like Java and C++, I rarely utilized those skills in a real-life setting. In the First Person View Self-Driving Car project, we had to code and revise programs to control the car from our computers effectively. I found the application of computing theory in this project to be much more sophisticated than I anticipated, and some model revisions that would work in theory did not produce the anticipated result. From this experience, I realized that the real-life applications in STEM are much more sophisticated and challenging to work out than expected. From my two summers at the Harvard Summer School, I was impressed by the depth of the courses I’ve taken. In Introduction to C++ for Programmers (CSCI 3-38), we built our own games through C++ as the final project, which concurs with the highly practical nature of Harvard University’s curriculums. This gives me tremendous confidence that Harvard University is where I can learn the skills I need to prosper. I’m looking forward to new intellectual experiences at Harvard University! The second of the Harvard essay prompts gives students a lot of room to play with their responses. An “intellectual experience” can mean many things, but it’s a great opportunity to speak to your academic interests. Harvard essays that worked have talked about everything from research experiences to mentorship to self-initiated projects. Ultimately, admissions officers should be able to see that you are driven, curious, and passionate about your topic. In this essay, the writer shows that they have taken the time to get involved in internships within their field of interest: computer science and programming. By explaining how their experience impacted their real life, the writer shows how the intellectual experience was important to them. Specifically, this student had the important experience of realizing that some things worked in theory, however, not in practice—an important realization especially when working in the STEM field. Remember that Harvard essays examples strive to provide a full picture of the applicant. This writer not only shares with us their interest in computer science, but also how they’ve grown. It shows that they are willing and ready to try new approaches and expand their horizons. Harvard Extracurricular Essay ExampleWithin the Harvard essay requirements, you’ll notice that many of the Harvard essay prompts are similar to what you’ll find on other college applications. Among those popular prompts is the extracurricular essay . This can be a tricky one to answer in a way that isn’t cliché but demonstrates your character. Let’s see how the third of the Harvard essays examples answers the prompt: Briefly describe any of your extracurricular activities, employment experience, travel, or family responsibilities that have shaped who you are.My first encounter with the Red Cross club was during the challenging COVID year, when I stepped up as a freshman and took the position of treasurer. My first blood drive experience being marked by masks, social distancing, and low turnout among donors. Needless to say, it was not the greatest first high school service experience for me, and I admittedly started to doubt if the time I spent on this front was worth it. However, as we returned in person, things quickly turned around. As the vice president of the club, I helped recruit more than twice the club membership compared to the previous year, and our blood drives regained form; our blood targets have been exceeded every time since. Organizing and participating in blood drives has become a passion. It’s fulfilling, especially when I personally donate, to know that I’m actively serving the community and saving lives. Despite my relatively young age, I am capable of making an impact through public service. I plan to continue my commitment to the Red Cross’s adult program and participate in service programs like the Phillips Brooks House Association to serve the local Harvard community and abroad. Similar to all of the Harvard essay prompts, this one allows students many ways to answer. The student mentions their position as vice president of the Red Cross club, which shows their capacity and willingness to take on a leadership role. They also highlighted the doubt they faced, demonstrating an instance of overcoming a challenge. These Harvard essay prompts ask about formative experiences you’ve had beyond the classroom to demonstrate what kind of impact you’ll have on campus. This student does an excellent job of specifying the type of extracurricular activity that they plan to get involved in at Harvard: Phillips Brooks House Association. By mentioning the specific club, we know the student has done their research and knows their extracurricular interests. Furthermore, the club they choose is service-based, similar to the Red Cross club that forms the foundation of the essay. Using Your Harvard Education EssayIn the other Harvard essays examples, students show the qualities that they will bring to campus. The fourth of the Harvard essay prompts differs in that it asks students to think about their life after college. Harvard essays that worked for prompts like this speak to both career and larger life goals. Here is the fourth of our Harvard essays that worked: How do you hope to use your Harvard education in the future?I envision my education at Harvard as not just a pursuit of knowledge but also a commitment to leveraging that knowledge for meaningful impact. The diverse and collaborative nature of the Harvard community will play a pivotal role in shaping my perspective and helping me establish the strong connections needed to achieve my goals. Whether through research initiatives or entrepreneurial ventures, I see myself at the forefront of positive and meaningful change. Harvard University’s education is sophisticated and includes many initiatives that help students including research opportunities (AM 91R & AM 99R) and courses such as Advanced Scientific Computing (APMTH 207). Machine learning, a pivotal technological frontier, stands among many topics shaping the future of technology—an area I am eager to explore. APMTH 207 aligns with my interest in data analysis and optimization, and the highly practical nature of model development will be helpful for any potential job in the future. I have already applied skills learned from the Harvard Summer School to real-life applications, and I’m confident a Harvard University education will help me do similar. I hope to my skills and knowledge to contribute to a more inclusive, equitable, and sustainable world. Harvard wants their students to go on to make big impacts in the world. Basically, the fourth of these Harvard essays examples wants to see that you’re motivated, driven, and forward-thinking. This student does an excellent job of clearly and specifically stating how Harvard will allow them to achieve their future goals. Through this essay, we see that the student has done research on specific course offerings that they plan to take advantage of during their time at Harvard University. And, while the student isn’t positive what kind of career they might have, we know that they are committed to an “inclusive, equitable, and sustainable world.” Even if you aren’t certain of your intended major yet, you can talk about how Harvard will create opportunities for you. It’s easy to talk solely about academic or career goals in this essay. However, the best Harvard essays examples show how you can contribute to society. What kind of world do you want to help create, and how can Harvard help you get there? Harvard Roommate EssayThe last of the Harvard essays examples strays slightly from the “typical” college essay prompt. The last of the Harvard essay prompts asks students to reflect on qualities they’d like to share with future roommates. You may have seen similar prompts at other universities. The Harvard roommate essay is a great opportunity to highlight your uniqueness. Here is the fifth of the Harvard essays examples: Top 3 things your roommates might like to know about you.I will definitely let my roommates know that I do not like bread. I have had a psychological impediment to the smell and taste of bread ever since I was sent to the ER when I was six because I ate a piece of rotten bread. Please be aware, future roommates, of keeping the bread contained outside the dorm room unless in extraordinary circumstances. On a lighter note, my roommates should know that I am a relatively organized person who very much values personal space. I would prefer for all of my roommates to come together to organize basic protocols, such as which areas in the dorm are personal and which are public, and to be on the same page on important issues such as sleeping schedules. One last thing I’d like my roommates to know about me is that I am a huge card game enjoyer. Blackjack, Poker, Hearts, etc., and even games outside the poker deck such as Uno are games that I love. It’d be great if my roommates shared a similar interest and we could have some nice entertainment during our free time. This student clearly, concisely, and creatively approaches this Harvard roommate essay. Through this student’s Harvard roommate essay we learn quite a bit about the writer. We know that they are organized and respect others’ personal space, while also being friendly and open to bonding through games. We also learn some quirky qualities that this person has, such as not tolerating bread in closed quarters. Beyond the surface-level information, let’s look more closely at the tone. The first paragraph is ironically serious, using phrases like “psychological impediment” and “please be aware.” Taking this tone about something like not liking bread opens the essay with a note of humor, which can leave a lasting impression on an admissions officer. Many Harvard essays that worked have made their mark with the writer’s tone and voice. How do you write a Harvard essay?The Harvard essays play an important role in the narrative that you’re telling with your application. The previous Harvard essays examples show that it’s important to be true to who you are while completely answering the Harvard essay prompts. Of course, following the Harvard essay requirements is important—you must answer all five of the Harvard essay prompts within 200 words. Harvard admissions states that they use a holistic evaluation, meaning they consider the whole student and how they’ve experienced the world around them. Think of the Harvard essays not as a challenge, but as an opportunity! They are your chance to speak to your unique strengths, qualities, goals, and experiences. You can expand on activities from other parts of your application or, better yet, introduce new experiences that align with your narrative. When responding to the Harvard essay prompts, try to share new information. If you decide to expand upon something you’ve already mentioned, be sure to go deeper than before. Show how the experiences, extracurriculars, and academics have impacted you, and how you’ll bring those lessons to Harvard and beyond. As with all college essays, be sure to get a second (or third, or fourth!) pair of eyes on your Harvard application essays. You want to be sure your Harvard essays are free of grammatical and spelling errors. Additionally, you should ask for feedback from friends and mentors who know you well. They can tell you if your essays sound like your voice and are true to your character. Does Harvard require a personal statement?In addition to the five short answer Harvard essays, students must also write the personal statement as a part of the Harvard essay requirements. Again, this essay is an opportunity to add to your application as a whole. Harvard urges students to write about something you care about, rather than focusing on what you think admissions wants to read. Here are the Common App essay prompts that you can choose from in the 2024–2025 admissions cycle: Common App Essay Prompts1. some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. if this sounds like you, then please share your story., 2. the lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. how did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience, 3. reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. what prompted your thinking what was the outcome, 4. reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. how has this gratitude affected or motivated you , 5. discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others., 6. describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. why does it captivate you what or who do you turn to when you want to learn more, 7. share an essay on any topic of your choice. it can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.. Students may also complete the Coalition Application when applying to Harvard, which has its own personal statement topics. Despite technical differences between the two platforms, they serve the same purpose: to help you show your best self to admissions committees. Do your research and choose the best platform for you. What does Harvard look for in essays?The Harvard essays are an opportunity for applicants to share more about themselves that hasn’t been featured elsewhere in the application. You can see what Harvard is interested in from the Harvard essay prompts. According to the Harvard essay prompts, Harvard looks for values such as diversity, intellectual interests, community involvement, self reflection, and personal development. When thinking about your personal narrative , try to show how you exhibit each of these values throughout your application. All of the Harvard essays examples we reviewed answered each of the prompts in its entirety with specific answers. You don’t want to give generic responses when writing your Harvard essays. For example, in the Harvard roommate essay, the reader should learn more about your unique personality and experiences. In fact, the Harvard roommate essay is an excellent opportunity to show off your writing skills and voice. Applicants also want to highlight how their experiences and backgrounds have shaped who they are. What will you bring to Harvard? How will Harvard help you achieve both your academic and professional goals? As you can see from the Harvard essays examples, your Harvard essays should be personal and specific. Tips for International Applicants to HarvardThe application process for international appl i cants is almost identical to first-year applicants. The Harvard essay requirements and other application materials are mostly the same. The biggest difference is that international students need a visa or other required documents to study in the US. This is not unique to Harvard; international applicants should always research required documentation for American college admissions . When it comes to the Harvard essays examples, they can be equally useful to international students as domestic students. However, international students will likely want to highlight their background and how it will affect their educational experience in the US. Overall, admissions wants to see the same things from international students as those applying within the US. Show that you care about community, are intellectually curious and motivated, and have ambitions to positively impact the world long after graduation. Harvard Transfer Essay AdviceGaining admissions to Harvard is difficult, whether as a first year or transfer student. However, acceptance as a transfer student is even more selective. Each year, Harvard accepts an average of 12 transfer students out of over 1,500 applicants. Therefore, writing the best transfer Harvard essays is crucial if you want to have a chance at being accepted. The Harvard essays examples are good resources to get you started. The Harvard essay prompts are the same for transfer students as first year students. However, you will want to include your experiences at the university level when writing your Harvard application essays. How will Harvard help you meet your academic and professional goals? Why is Harvard the best place for you—what programs and extracurriculars make Harvard your dream school ? As a transfer student, don’t speak negatively about your current school. Do your best to craft the best application possible to overcome the sub-1% transfer admission rate. However, the best way to ensure your transfer admissions process is a success is to have other schools on your college list ! The applicant pool to Harvard is beyond competitive—all students will have high grades and outstanding extracurricular records. Therefore, the Harvard essays are an important way to help you stand out and personalize your transfer application. More CollegeAdvisor resources about HarvardIn addition to this Harvard Essays Examples article, CollegeAdvisor has plenty of resources to help you learn how to get into Harvard. While it’s useful to look at Harvard essays examples, you should also check out our Harvard supplemental essay guide . You’ll get plenty of useful advice on how to craft your own Harvard essays. Additionally, take a look at our How to Get Into Harvard guide to learn how to boost your chances of gaining admissions to this selective school. Since Harvard is an Ivy League university, you can also look at some Ivy League essay examples in addition to these Harvard essays examples. You’ll find more Harvard essays that worked as well as other successful Ivy League admissions essays. Reading Ivy League and Harvard essays examples is a great way to get in a good mindset before writing. Studying Harvard essays examples can help inspire you to write your best Harvard application essays. Understanding acceptance rates can also help you prepare for the college admissions process. Harvard is among the most selective colleges in the nation. While this shouldn’t necessarily deter you from applying, your college list should have a good balance of reach, match, and safety schools . Being prepared is the best way to tackle your college admissions journey. Therefore, learn all you can about your top schools of interest. In addition to reading Harvard essays examples and Harvard essays that worked, learn about the Harvard acceptance rate before applying. Harvard Essays Examples – 5 TakeawaysWe’ve looked at five different Harvard essays that worked and analyzed why they are model Harvard essays examples. To review, let’s look at five takeaways from these Harvard essays examples: 5 Takeaways for Harvard Essay Examples1. follow the harvard requirements. This applies to every part of the application, but always carefully read and complete the requirements by the specified deadline. The Harvard requirements for the essay portion include writing the personal statement as well as five supplemental essays. Don’t forget the word count, especially when you reach the editing phase. 2. Be specificYou’ll notice from the Harvard essays examples that each writer is specific in their responses. You certainly won’t find generic essays when looking at Harvard essays that worked. Reference specific courses, clubs, resources, and other opportunities you’re interested in that are found only at Harvard. 3. Get personalYou’ll need to do some self reflection when writing your Harvard application essays. Think about aspects of your upbringing that have shaped you as well as other experiences. In the Harvard essays examples we learn more about each writer’s unique personality. Harvard essays that worked show the writer’s core values and interests to Harvard admissions officers. 4. Harvard is competitiveThis may seem obvious, but Harvard is one of the most competitive schools in the nation. Harvard essays that worked helped students get the attention of admissions; however, evaluations of applicants are holistic. So while knockout essays are undeniably crucial to your application, so is a track record of academic and extracurricular achievement. 5. Start earlyAs with all aspects of the college application journey, preparing early will help you do your best. Give yourself plenty of time to write, review, and revise these essays with the help of peers and mentors. The Harvard essays examples we looked at certainly weren’t written overnight. Nearly all Harvard essays that worked took quite a few drafts to get it right. A large part of knowing how to get into Harvard is knowing how to write clear, concise, impactful essays. Reading plenty of Harvard essays that worked can help you get inspired. In the end, your essays will likely be very different from Harvard essays examples, since every student has a unique story to tell. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by these Harvard essays examples and want some personalized guidance in college admissions, CollegeAdvisor is here to help! We have expert advisors that have helped thousands of students get into the school of their dreams. They’ve even guided many students to write their own Harvard essays that worked. Reach out to us to find an admissions expert to help you today. This article was written by Sarah Kaminski. Looking for more admissions support? Click here to schedule a free meeting with one of our Admissions Specialists. During your meeting, our team will discuss your profile and help you find targeted ways to increase your admissions odds at top schools. We’ll also answer any questions and discuss how CollegeAdvisor.com can support you in the college application process. Personalized and effective college advising for high school students.
By using the College Advisor site and/or working with College Advisor, you agree to our updated Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy , including an arbitration clause that covers any disputes relating to our policies and your use of our products and services. No products in the cart.  Harvard: 5 Common App Essay Introductions That WorkedMany applicants struggle with writing the perfect Common App essay introduction to get into their dream school. Your essay’s introduction is one of the most important parts of a successful Common App essay that will make an impression on the admissions officer reading your application. We’ve compiled 5 Common App essay introductions that were accepted to Harvard University to show you exactly what it takes to make an impression in your first paragraph and grab the admissions officer’s attention. Prompt: Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. “Hey kids, here’s twenty bucks. If any of y’all have the guts to ask that there bride to dance, it’s yours,” offered a bearded man in a cowboy hat. He wore a slick black suit and shiny purple tie. His words made me feel like he was giving me a fantastic opportunity, but his smile was that of a used car salesman’s. The four of us kids stared at the man, and then three of them stared at me. I was staring at the bride. See the Full Harvard Application Essay » Prompt: Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you? In northern Wisconsin there is a small cabin, built years ago by my great-grandfather. The cabin rests on the shore of Bass Lake, named such despite the fact that no bass have ever actually made their home there. My father swam in Bass Lake decades ago, watched the grown-ups play cards at night, played touch football with his brothers in the yard. Today the cabin is collectively owned by the Bonsall family, including my dad, and no doubt he will one day pass along that ownership to me, and I will receive my own stake in the family heritage. When I was younger, the entire Bonsall clan would assemble at the cabin each summer, just as they always had. During those summers I swam in Bass Lake, caught my first fish in its waters, sat on the iron swing by the lake and gazed into the flames of the campfire, listening partly to the conversation between my relatives, partly to the chirping of the crickets in the woods. I heard the sound of spring rain pattering against the tent on wet summer nights, and the call of the loons on the lake on dry ones. I have rarely felt so content as on those nights at the cabin. Most of my friends asked me why I did it. It took four days and left me completely exhausted. What reason was there to embark on such a journey? It all started the summer before my freshman year in high school when I rode my bike off of my grandma’s street for the first time and rode up into a neighboring subdivision. From then on I was hooked. I started riding all over the place; from the main drag in town up into the country along narrow roads I didn’t know existed. The pungent yet strangely welcoming odor of acetone permeated my senses as I entered the familiar lab environment. All around me, white-clad students hurriedly gathered chemicals and watched their flasks intensely as the solvent simultaneously boiled and condensed. Foggy safety goggles and furrowed eyebrows revealed the immense concentration of everyone in the room as they tackled various challenges. From my vantage point, I watched as a captivating transformation evolved at each station. Striking shades of green and orange contrasted with dull strokes of brown and grey in flasks around the room; soft, white powder stood out from needle-like blue crystals as both slowly dissolved into beakers of water. The randomness of each adventure added to my excitement as I impatiently waited to begin. Entering my kindergarten classroom, I shuffled around my blueberry shaped classmates as some began throwing their winter layers into cubbies. Admittedly, my torso was equally bulbous – covered with the threats and extortions of my mother: a heavy jacket, gloves, and a hat. But, below the waist I wore only a pair of frigid khaki shorts. As I walked proudly to my seat, my teacher quickly approached me. Bug-eyed, in what I assumed was intense admiration, she asked “Stephen, aren’t you the tiniest bit cold?”. “No,” I replied, smiling. “I don’t get cold.” See Full Applications That Got Into HarvardTo see full applications and essays that got into Harvard and other Ivy League schools check out our roster of successful applications to top schools. IvyApps has full applications to Harvard, Stanford, Princeton, Yale and other top schools and features full essays, supplements, as well as students GPA and standardized test scores.
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ebook ∣ What Worked for Them Can Help You Get into the College of Your ChoiceBy staff of the harvard crimson.  Add Book To Favorites Is this your library?Sign up to save your library. With an OverDrive account, you can save your favorite libraries for at-a-glance information about availability. Find out more about OverDrive accounts. Staff of the Harvard Crimson St. Martin's Publishing Group 09 May 2017  Find this title in Libby, the library reading app by OverDrive.  Search for a digital library with this titleTitle found at these libraries:.
Fifty all-new essays that got their authors into Harvard - with updated statistics, analysis, and complete student profiles - showing what worked, what didn't, and how you can do it, too. With talented applicants coming from top high schools as well as the pressure to succeed from family and friends, it's no wonder that writing college application essays is one of the most stressful tasks high schoolers face. To help, this completely new edition of 50 Successful Harvard Application Essays , edited by the staff of the Harvard Crimson , gives readers the most inspiring approaches, both conventional and creative, that won over admissions officers at Harvard University, the nation's top-ranked college. From chronicling personal achievements to detailing unique talents, the topics covered in these essays open applicants up to new techniques to put their best foot forward. It teaches students how to: - Get started - Stand out - Structure the best possible essay - Avoid common pitfalls Each essay in this collection is from a Harvard student who made the cut, is accompanied by a student profile that includes SAT scores and grades, and is followed by a detailed analysis by the staff of the Harvard Crimson that shows readers how they can approach their own stories and ultimately write their own high-caliber essay. 50 Successful Harvard Application Essays ' all-new examples and straightforward advice make it the first stop for college applicants who are looking to craft essays that get them accepted to the school of their dreams.
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Writing Application Essays and Personal StatementsSome applications ask that you write an essay that draws on more personal reflections. These essays, sometimes called Personal Statements, are an opportunity to show the selection committee who you are as a person: your story, your values, your interests, and why you—and not your peer with a similar resume—are a perfect fit for this opportunity. These narrative essays allow you to really illustrate the person behind the resume, showcasing not only what you think but how you think. Before you start writing, it’s helpful to really consider the goals of your personal statement:
In general, your job through your personal statement is to show, don’t tell the committee about your journey. If you choose to retell specific anecdotes from your life, focus on one or two relavant, formative experiences—academic, professional, extracurricular—that are emblematic of your development. The essay is where you should showcase the depth of your maturity, not the breadth—that's the resume's job! Determining the theme of an essayThe personal statement is usually framed with an overarching theme. But how do you come up with a theme that is unique to you? Here are some questions to get you started:
Once you have done some reflection, you may notice a theme emerging (justice? innovation? creativity?)—great! Be careful to think beyond your first idea, too, though. Sometimes, the third or fourth theme to come to your mind is the one that will be most compelling to center your essay around. Writing styleCertainly, your personal statement can have moments of humor or irony that reflect your personality, but the goal is not to show off your creative writing skills or present you as a sparkling conversationalist (that can be part of your interview!). Here, the aim is to present yourself as an interesting person, with a unique background and perspective, and a great future colleague. You should still use good academic writing—although this is not a research paper nor a cover letter—but the tone can be a bit less formal. Communicating your valuesOur work is often linked to our own values, identities, and personal experiences, both positive and negative. However, there can be a vulnerability to sharing these things with strangers. Know that you don't have to write about your most intimate thoughts or experiences, if you don't want to. If you do feel that it’s important that a selection committee knows this about you, reflect on why you would like for them to know that, and then be sure that it has an organic place in your statement. Your passion will come through in how you speak about these topics and their importance in forming you as an individual and budding scholar.
How to Write Harvard's Essays (with Real 2023 Harvard Essay Examples) Kate Sliunkova AdmitYogi, Stanford MBA & MA in Education 16 min read  Getting into Harvard University is a dream come true for many high school students. But, the application process doesn't end with the Common Application - you'll also need to write supplemental essays. While it may seem daunting at first, writing these Harvard supplementals can be made easier by understanding what admissions officers are looking for and having examples of successful essays to draw inspiration from. In this article, we’ll provide some tips on how to craft an effective Harvard supplemental essay and showcase real examples from 2023 applicants who were admitted into the university. With these helpful resources in hand, you’ll have all you need to start writing your own supplementals! Harvard's Essay PromptsHarvard applicants will have to write three essays in total. While two of these essays are technically optional, they are highly encouraged; students who don't complete those essays are put at a massive disadvantage during application season. Prompt #1 (Optional, but Highly Recommended): Your intellectual life may extend beyond the academic requirements of your particular school. Please use the space below to list additional intellectual activities that you have not mentioned or detailed elsewhere in your application. These could include, but are not limited to, supervised or self-directed projects not done as school work, training experiences, online courses not run by your school, or summer academic or research programs not described elsewhere. (150 words) Prompt #2: Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences. (50-150 words) Prompt #3 (Optional, but Highly Recommended): You may wish to include an additional essay if you feel that the college application forms do not provide sufficient opportunity to convey important information about yourself or your accomplishments. You may write on a topic of your choice, or you may choose from one of the following topics:
Writing Harvard's Essays:Harvard's additional intellectual activities essay. Harvard's Prompt #1: "Your intellectual life may extend beyond the academic requirements of your particular school. Please use the space below to list additional intellectual activities that you have not mentioned or detailed elsewhere in your application. These could include, but are not limited to, supervised or self-directed projects not done as school work, training experiences, online courses not run by your school, or summer academic or research programs not described elsewhere." Our advice for approaching Harvard's essay prompt asking applicants to list additional intellectual activities outside of their schoolwork is to first understand what "intellectual activities" consist of. Intellectual activities may include but are not limited to hobbies, academic projects, research, or any other activity that's helped you learn something valuable or new. When structuring your response, make sure to keep it organized. Start by briefly introducing the activity, explaining what it is and how you became involved with it. Focus on the skills that you gained from this activity and how they have helped you develop into a well-rounded individual. Be specific when mentioning the activity or intellectual pursuit, and relate it back to your talents, abilities, or interests. Make sure to highlight how it has impacted your academic performance and personal growth. Suitable intellectual activities to mention can include but are not limited to, volunteering, research projects, personal interests, internships within a specific field, or pursuing a particular subject on your own outside of a traditional academic setting. Lastly, make sure to avoid cliches or generic statements that don't add anything new to your story. Rather, use concrete examples and showcase your uniqueness in your writing style. Here's an excellent example of this from Victor, who got into Harvard, Stanford, MIT, Columbia, and UPenn. You can read all of his essays, stats, and awards here! Leisure Reading: Silent Spring—Rachel Carson; The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy—Douglas Adams; The Old Man and the Sea—Ernest Hemingway; Blood Meridian, The Road—Cormac McCarthy; Die Welt von Gestern—Stefan Zweig; Cicero—Anthony Everret. Independent research: Used GIS mapping and Berkeley’s Transportation Injury Mapping System to analyze traffic collision data in my city. Books: The Death and Life of Great American Cities—Jane Jacobs; The Color of Law—Richard Rothstein. Bicycle/Race: Transportation, Culture, & Resistance—Andonia E. Lugo. Historical research areas from hours perusing Wikipedia, YouTube, and scholarly articles: 19th Century Urbanism and the Sanitation Revolution; Implications of the Sykes-Picot Agreement and the British betrayal of the Hashemites; Mexican President Lázaro Cárdenas’ nationalization of Mexican oil and foundation of PEMEX; Mercantilism and how it stunted Iberian colonies’ development post-independence; Fall of the Roman Republic; Norman Conquest of England; The Trial of Charles I. Harvard's Extracurricular Essay:Harvard's Prompt #2: "Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences." To start, when choosing which activity or experience to write about, think about something that you are passionate about and have put in significant effort into. It should also be something that has had a meaningful impact on your life and that you can speak about in depth. This will make the essay more engaging and interesting for the reader. Next, your essay should have a clear structure. Start by introducing the topic and providing concrete examples of what you did in this activity or experience. Explain any challenges you faced and how you overcame them. Lastly, discuss what you learned from the experience and how it has shaped you as a person. When writing the essay, it's important to make it personal and reflective of who you are as an individual. Use specific stories to illustrate your points instead of generalizing your experiences. Avoid using cliches or generic phrases that don't add anything new to your story. Strive to make your essay unique and authentic in your writing style. Here's a great example from Gabby W, who got into Harvard, Stanford, MIT, and Yale. Y ou can read all of her essays and extracurriculars here. I discovered Haven for Hope, a community rehab and homeless shelter, through GirlUp, an initiative by the UN Foundation centered around empowering women and developing leadership. In my first year, I became one of four tutors who visited the teenage girls at Haven for Hope weekly. We developed real bonds and strived to be consistent role models for these girls. During my junior year, as one of five board members, my role in actively supporting the community grew significantly. Our chapter membership grew to 100+ students, and I managed the funds raised to donate 1200+ menstrual products for Haven for Hope women, stock neighboring Title I schools with feminine hygiene products, and hold a baby diaper drive for the Battered Women and Children’s Shelter. My involvement with GirlUp developed into a profoundly fulfilling fight for female empowerment and equity, a battle I know will continue as I venture into STEM professions. Harvard's Additional Essay:Harvard's Prompt #3: "You may wish to include an additional essay if you feel that the college application forms do not provide sufficient opportunity to convey important information about yourself or your accomplishments. You may write on a topic of your choice, or you may choose from one of the following topics." We suggest approaching the additional essay prompt with intention and thoughtfulness. This essay is an opportunity to showcase something new about yourself that you haven't already discussed in other parts of your application. Think of it almost like a second personal statement (so stick around 500 words). You're giving the admissions department another look into who you are as a person! To start, identify what you want to convey about yourself through this essay. It should go beyond your resume or achievements and showcase your personality, interests, values, or worldview. For instance, you could discuss a formative experience that influenced your personal growth or reflect on a specific value that guides your actions. Once you've identified your topic, make sure you provide plenty of vivid details and specific examples to illustrate your insights. Use descriptive language to help the readers visualize what you're describing in your essay. For example, if you're discussing your favorite hobby, you might describe a particular moment when you discovered your passion for it or the sense of fulfillment you get when you engage with it. As you write your essay, remember to use an appropriate tone that reflects your personality. You want to come across as authentic and relatable while still demonstrating your unique perspective. It might help to read your essay out loud to ensure that your voice and tone are consistent with your personality. Don't be afraid to take risks and be vulnerable in your writing. Discussing difficult experiences or challenges can help showcase your resilience and growth mindset. However, you want to avoid oversharing or writing about sensitive topics in a way that could be perceived negatively. Here's an awesome example from Sarah, who was admitted to Stanford, Harvard, Yale, MIT, Columbia, UPenn, Johns Hopkins, and Brown! You can see all of her essays, awards, stats, and more here! Sarah answered the prompt "Harvard has long recognized the importance of student body diversity of all kinds. We welcome you to write about distinctive aspects of your background, personal development or the intellectual interests you might bring to your Harvard classmates." As the other kids prepared to present their 3D-printed towers to students and parents, Nathan fretted, brow furrowed and arms crossed, deeply anxious about the prospect of speaking in front of the large audience. I was in my third year as an assistant teacher for a middle school weekend STEM class when I met Nathan, a student on the autism spectrum. While the other students worked in pairs, Nathan adamantly insisted he work alone. I was happy to support Nathan as he designed a miniature CAD model of the Big Ben, but he was now tasked with presenting alone, without a partner, unlike the rest of the students. Though he struggled socially and shuddered at the thought of reaching out to his classmates, the other students failed to make an effort to reach out to him. I was perplexed as to why the other kids felt content in excluding Nathan, but as I honestly admitted to myself, I had been no better at their age. Nathan displayed behaviors reminiscent of those of my older brother Stevie, who has severe autism. Stevie is the most affectionate brother, constantly projecting an infectious smile that has the enchanting power to put me at ease; yet so many people unwittingly deprive him of the fair chance to live a life free from prejudice—including my younger self. When I was my students’ age, I felt a disgraceful degree of shame upon going into public with Stevie, embarrassed by his random loud outbursts and the disparaging stares we would receive from almost every stranger. However, growing up alongside Stevie, I sometimes observed genuine kindness that made me re-examine my outlook. I began to recognize that autism doesn’t make Stevie disabled; it’s how society accommodates his differences that dictates whether he’s disabled or not. Perceiving the barriers perpetuated by a world not inherently designed for people like Stevie, I felt progressively empowered to try to make life more accommodating for others. I calmly assured Nathan that he would not need to present in person; instead, I recorded a video of his individual presentation to send to his parents, which alleviated his fears. In the subsequent classes, I put significant effort into connecting Nathan with the other students. I typically spent a majority of each class working with Nathan, trying to support him in any way I could. I’m eternally grateful that Stevie has helped me become more compassionate and understanding of those around me, whether it’s Nathan or simply a random stranger I encounter in public. Beyond the interactions I share with others, Stevie has also shaped my aspirations for the future. I am drawn in large part to technological innovation because it provides the avenue through which I can continue to better the lives of differently-abled people. I plan to innovate efficient assistive technology, such as AI-powered robotic assistants, to aid those whom society often overlooks. I’m proud that I can serve as an advocate for acceptance and help those who need it most. As I endeavor to provide meaningful assistance to these individuals, I hope I can inspire others to act in a similar manner. Here's another incredible example of Harvard's optional essay from Dev, who got into Harvard, UPenn, Columbia, Cornell, and Dartmouth. You can read his entire college application here! Dev answered the prompt "What you would want your future college roommate to know about you." Dear future roommate, I’m going to apologize in advance. Sorry for always asking you and subsequently dragging you with me to satisfy my chocolate peanut butter cup and black raspberry chocolate chunk cravings. My friends and I have tried a new ice cream place twice a month for the last year, and I can’t stop my streak now (the best flavor so far has been banana cream pie, if you were wondering). I’m not afraid to admit my ice cream obsession and bring you along for the ride. It will be worth it, I promise! Sorry for yelling at my laptop or the TV on select Thursdays, Sundays, and Mondays. I always look forward to my Cleveland Browns finding some way to shock me or leave me in shock. But, they’re my unpredictable team, and I think you’ll find that I’m one of the most loyal people you’ll meet – whether it’s about a sports team or relationships. Sorry for making you stand… rrrright there against the sun and keep four fingers in your pocket with your thumb out. I’ve been a hobbyist photographer for a few years now, and I will give you the Instagram-worthy photos you’ve been wanting. Still, it won’t come without a bit of precision and creativity, which I think is reflected in my personality. You would probably see that best in my closet. Speaking of my closet, I'm sorry for all of the Amazon packages I’ll be dragging into the dorm. I am constantly refining my wardrobe, buying new sweaters, jeans, and shoes that I definitely do not need. I like to look “put-together,” however, and if I ask you for your honest opinion, feel free to tell me if this cable-knit patchwork Marino wool sweater looks like a bunch of chocolate bars strung together. Part of my put-together attitude is washing my clothes at least once a week, so, thankfully, one less worry for you is that I won’t smell. Sorry for dropping every responsibility I have at exactly 10:00 PM during the week (and 6:00 PM on the weekend) because the New York Times just released its latest mini crossword. Don’t worry too much, though, as I won’t be separated from reality for too long – my average time is now below 25 seconds. I’ve been competing against my family and friends on the mini-leaderboard for a while, and I usually get the fastest time. Feel free to add yourself to my leaderboard and play along! Sorry for sending you a new song that I think is really, really good when Spotify releases my Discover Weekly on Mondays. I may overplay it for the next week and then squirm if I ever hear its intro again, but I love listening to music with other people, so join me in ruining a song faster than you can sing the chorus to The Champs’ classic song, “ Tequila.” I’d love to hear your music too. My taste is very diverse, so as long as we dance around death metal and psychedelic rock, I know we’ll be able to jam out easily. Sorry for the exorbitant number of dad jokes I’m going to make. That’s it. I’m not sorry for the ways that these quirks will bring us together; I can’t wait to be the friend that will stick by your side no matter what. I’ll be there to help you if you’re struggling in class, missing home, or conflicted about your love life. Whether you want to talk about the universe’s biggest questions or if pineapple belongs on pizza, just pick up a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Half-Baked, grab two spoons, and we can sit for hours figuring it all out together. Conclusion:In conclusion, writing standout essays for Harvard University requires time, dedication, and careful planning. It's important to choose topics that highlight your unique experiences, personality, and skills, as well as to demonstrate your passion, curiosity, and resilience. Feedback from trusted sources, such as academic advisors or writing tutors, can be invaluable in refining your essays and ensuring their quality. Another helpful resource for writing strong essays is reading examples of successful college essays. Reading these essays can offer inspiration, ideas, and insights on what works and what doesn't, ultimately helping you write more compelling essays. That's why we highly recommend checking out our platform which offers thousands of successful college essays written by real students that you can read through and learn from. With the right approach, dedication, and guidance, you can craft essays that will stand out in your application to Harvard University. Read applicationsRead the essays, activities, and awards that got them in. Read one for free !  Jaden Botros Stanford (+ 22 colleges) Benjamin Sanchez Pla Yale (+ 31 colleges) Michael Sato Stanford (+ 16 colleges) Related articlesHow to Write Stanford's Essays (with Real 2023 Essay Examples) Writing Stanford's eight mandatory essays can be a difficult task! In this article, we explore Stanford's essay prompts, and give detailed strategies (with real examples) on how to approach them.  Getting Involved in Earth Systems/Sustainability Extracurricular Activities Discover the exciting world of earth systems and sustainability through engaging extracurricular activities designed for high school students. This blog post unveils five enriching activities to spark your curiosity and nurture your passion for a sustainable future, paving the way for personal and professional growth.  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Book by Jamie Beaton Crimson Global Academy +1 (646) 419-3178 Go back to all articles How To Answer Harvard's 2023/24 Supplemental Essays: Tips & Insights/f/64062/2240x1260/0f4d5915de/blog-essay.png "common application essay examples harvard") What's New in 2023/24 What are Harvard's Essay Prompts? How to Answer Harvard's Essay Prompts General Guidelines Explore the changes in Harvard's supplemental essay prompts for 2023/24, understand the nuances of each question, and gain insights on crafting compelling responses with our detailed guide, complete with expert tips and links to successful Harvard essay examples. Harvard's 2023/24 Supplemental Essay Updates: What's Changed?Gaining admission to Harvard is no small feat, with acceptance rates sometimes plummeting as low as 3% . In such a competitive environment, every component of your application, especially your essay, becomes a crucial tool to stand out to admissions officers. Every year, top-tier universities like Harvard fine-tune their application process to get a deeper understanding of their applicants. For the 2023/24 admissions cycle, Harvard University has made notable modifications to its supplemental essay questions . Last year, applicants had a mix of required and optional prompts, with varying word limits, ranging from 50 to 150 words. These prompts touched on extracurricular activities, intellectual experiences, personal backgrounds, and more. This year, Harvard has streamlined the process, requiring all applicants to answer five questions, each with a strict 200-word limit . The questions emphasize the importance of diversity, intellectual experiences, extracurricular activities, the utilization of a Harvard education, and personal insights for potential roommates. This shift indicates a desire for more concise, focused responses from applicants, allowing the admissions committee to gain a clearer, more uniform understanding of each student's background, aspirations, and personality.  What Are Harvard’s Supplemental Essay Prompts for 2023/24?For the 2023/24 application cycle, Harvard University has outlined specific supplemental essay prompts to understand applicants better in addition to the Common App or Coalition App questions. These questions delve into your experiences, intellectual pursuits, and personal insights. Students are required to answer each Harvard-specific question in under 200 words. Here's a breakdown of the prompts:
These prompts offer applicants a chance to showcase their personalities, aspirations, and experiences, providing a holistic view of their candidacy. Looking for inspiration? Dive into these Harvard essay examples to see what successful applications look like! How to Answer Harvard’s Supplemental Essay Questions?This guide aims to help you craft a compelling response that showcases your unique journey and potential contributions to Harvard's diverse community. As you begin planning responses to each individual prompt, be sure to consider what experiences, reflections, and qualities you want to showcase once you’ve responded to all the prompts:
Answering Prompt 1“harvard values a diverse student body. reflect on your life experiences and explain how they have shaped you and how you plan to contribute to harvard.”, - 200 words or fewer, 1. understand the question. Harvard is not merely asking for a list of experiences. They want to understand the depth of your experiences , how they've molded your character, and how you'll use that growth to contribute to the Harvard community. Since Harvard is telling you they value diversity, consider emphasizing unique experiences or circumstances that highlight the most personal and profound aspects of your personality, values, and perspectives. 2. Reflect on Your Unique ExperiencesConsider moments in your life that have had a significant impact on your worldview:
3. Dive Deep into Personal GrowthDiscuss the evolution of your perspectives, values, or aspirations.
4. Connect to HarvardConsider how your unique perspective will enrich Harvard's community .
5. Be Concise and AuthenticWith a 200-word limit, precision is key. Ensure your narrative is genuine, making your essay resonate with the reader. Avoid generic statements; instead, provide specific examples that showcase your journey. Harvard's first supplemental essay is an opportunity to showcase the depth of your experiences and how they've shaped you . Reflecting on significant moments, emphasizing personal growth, and connecting your unique perspective to how you'll contribute to Harvard is essential. Remember to be concise, authentic, and ensure your essay is polished to perfection. Answering Prompt 2“discuss an intellectual experience that has had a significant impact on you.”. This question aims to help you articulate the depth and significance of an intellectual experience and its profound impact on your academic and personal journey. 1. Define "Intellectual Experience"Before diving in, understand that an intellectual experience isn't limited to classroom learning . It could be:
2. Choose a Meaningful ExperienceReflect on experiences that genuinely transformed your thinking:
3. Delve into the "Why"Discuss why this experience was transformative:
4. Highlight Personal GrowthDescribe how this intellectual experience influenced your academic and personal journey:
5. Be Authentic and ReflectiveYour genuine curiosity and passion should shine through. Avoid using jargon or overly complex language. Instead, focus on genuine reflection and personal growth . Harvard's second supplemental essay seeks to understand your intellectual journey . It's an opportunity to showcase your curiosity, passion, and the transformative power of learning. By reflecting on a significant intellectual experience and its impact on you, you can demonstrate your academic depth, your own intellectual processes and aptitudes, and intellectual growth. Interested in learning more? Attend one of our free eventsHow to get into top stem schools like stanford & mit. Tuesday, September 10, 2024 12:00 AM CUT Hear from a Former Princeton Admissions Officer about what it takes to get into ultra-competitive STEM programs at the country's best universities! REGISTER NOW Answering Prompt 3“elaborate on extracurricular activities, employment, travel, or family responsibilities that have played a pivotal role in defining who you are.”. This question is designed to help you articulate the significance of experiences outside the classroom and their profound impact on your personal journey. 1. Prioritize Depth Over QuantityWhile you might have multiple experiences, focus on one or two that have had the most profound impact on you . This allows you to delve deeper and provide a more insightful reflection. 2. Choose a Defining ExperienceReflect on moments that genuinely shaped your character:
3. Describe the ExperienceBriefly set the scene. Whether it's the bustling environment of a part-time job, the challenges of a leadership role in a club, or the nuances of a family responsibility, paint a picture for the reader. 4. Reflect on the ImpactDiscuss how this experience influenced your personal growth:
5. Connect to the PresentHighlight how this experience continues to influence you:
Harvard's third supplemental essay is an opportunity to showcase experiences outside the classroom that have significantly influenced your personal growth . Reflecting on these pivotal moments and their lasting impact can provide a holistic picture of your character, values, and aspirations. Answering Prompt 4“describe how you envision utilizing your harvard education in the future.”. This question aims to help you articulate how a Harvard education aligns with your future goals and the impact you aim to make in your chosen field or community. 1. Reflect on Your GoalsBegin by identifying your long-term aspirations . Have a clear vision in mind, whether it's a specific career, a desire to address a global challenge, or a passion you wish to pursue further. 2. Highlight Harvard's Unique OfferingsResearch specific programs, courses, or opportunities at Harvard that align with your goals. This could be a particular academic program, research opportunities, or extracurricular activities. 3. Draw a ConnectionDiscuss how these unique offerings will equip you with the skills, knowledge, or experiences needed to achieve your future aspirations . Make it evident that Harvard is the ideal place for you to realize these goals. 4. Go Beyond the ObviousWhile Harvard's academic excellence is a given, delve into the broader Harvard experience. Consider the influence of its diverse community, its culture of innovation, or its commitment to leadership and service. 5. Discuss the Broader ImpactExpand on how you plan to use your Harvard education to make a difference . Whether it's in your community, in a particular field, or on a global scale, showcase your commitment to creating positive change. 6. Stay AuthenticEnsure your response is genuine and reflects your true aspirations. Admissions officers can discern genuine passion and commitment from generic responses. Harvard's fourth supplemental essay is an opportunity to showcase your forward-thinking approach and how you plan to leverage Harvard's resources to achieve your future goals. By drawing a clear connection between what Harvard offers and your aspirations, you demonstrate a purposeful approach to your education. Answering Prompt 5“list three things your future roommates should know about you.”. This question aims to help you present a genuine and well-rounded picture of yourself, offering insights into your personality, habits, and values. 1. Reflect on Your PersonalityThis prompt is an invitation to share more about your personal side. Think about the quirks, habits, or values that define you. What are the things that make you, well, you? 2. Balance Seriousness with LightnessWhile one point could be a deep reflection of your values or beliefs, another could be a fun fact or a unique hobby. This mix gives a rounded picture of who you are. 3. Be GenuineAvoid coming up with things you believe the admissions committee wants to hear. This is your chance to let your true self shine through. 4. Consider Your Daily LifeThink about your habits or routines, the music you listen to, or the books you read. These can offer insights into your personality and preferences. 5. Reflect on Past Living ExperiencesHave you shared a space with someone before — roommate, sibling, family members, fellow campers?… Think about what made the experience harmonious. Were there particular habits, routines, or guiding principles you followed that were appreciated by those you were sharing space with? Harvard's fifth supplemental essay is a chance to showcase your personality beyond academics and extracurriculars . By sharing genuine aspects of yourself related to day-to-day living and the many small ways you interact with those around you in more personal spaces, you give a glimpse into your life outside the classroom and what it might be like to share a living space with you. 5 Tips for the "Why This School?" Essay General Guidelines for Crafting Stellar Harvard Supplemental Essays1. Understand the Question: Before you start writing, ensure you fully understand what the prompt is asking. Break it down and consider its nuances. This will help you stay on track and address all aspects of the question. 2. Be Authentic: Harvard isn't just looking for high achievers; they're looking for genuine individuals. Your essay should reflect your true self, not what you think the admissions committee wants to hear. 3. Show, Don't Tell: Instead of just stating facts or beliefs, use anecdotes, experiences, or stories to convey your points. This makes your essay more engaging and paints a clearer picture of who you are. 4. Stay Within the Word Limit: While it might be tempting to write more, respect the word limits. It shows that you can convey your thoughts concisely and respect guidelines. 5. Proofread and Edit: Always review your essay multiple times for clarity, coherence, and grammar. Consider also asking a teacher, mentor, or friend to review it. 6. Connect to Harvard: While the prompts might not explicitly ask for it, subtly showing why your experiences, values, or aspirations align with Harvard's culture or offerings can be a plus. 7. Reflect on Growth: Colleges love to see personal growth. Reflect on how experiences have shaped you, lessons learned, and how you've evolved. 8. Avoid Repetition: Ensure that your supplemental essays present new information and don't repeat what's already in your Common App essay or other parts of your application. 9. Be Forward-Looking: While it's essential to reflect on past experiences, also touch on how these experiences prepare you for future endeavors, especially at Harvard. 10. Start Early: Give yourself ample time to brainstorm, draft, and revise. Starting early reduces stress and allows you to approach the essay with a clear mind. Remember, the supplemental essays are an opportunity to showcase aspects of yourself that aren't evident in other parts of your application . Use them wisely to provide a holistic picture of yourself and why you'd be a great fit for Harvard.  Final ThoughtsThe journey to Harvard is more than just academic prowess; it's about crafting a narrative that resonates deeply with the admissions committee. Your supplemental essays provide a unique window into your personality, aspirations, and the distinct perspectives you'll bring to the Harvard community. Every Harvard aspirant has a story waiting to be told. This is your moment to share yours. Approach your essays with authenticity, introspection, and a genuine passion for your narrative. If you're wondering whether your essay truly captures your essence or if it stands out from the multitude of applications, our essay review service is here to help. Our team of experts will meticulously review and provide feedback to refine your essay, ensuring it resonates with admissions officers. For further inspiration, delve into our ebook , which showcases essays from students who clinched spots at top universities. And if Harvard is your dream, these successful Harvard essay examples will provide invaluable insights. For those just starting their college application journey, consider booking a free consultation with our seasoned college counselors. We're dedicated to guiding you in creating an application that significantly enhances your chances of donning the Crimson colors. Harvard is within reach, and we're here to help you every step of the way.  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More ArticlesHow to answer upenn's 2024/25 supplemental essays: tips & insights. /f/64062/800x451/fd960bb163/upenn-supplemental-essays.jpg "common application essay examples harvard") Ace Your NYU Supplemental Essay: Expert Advice From a Former Admissions Officer/f/64062/800x451/2ea207e4ba/nyu-law.jpg "common application essay examples harvard") How To Answer Northwestern Supplemental Essays in 2024-2025/f/64062/800x450/481dfd6c99/northwestern-blog.jpg "common application essay examples harvard") Harvard Successful Essays | 2018Our new 2022 version is up now. Our 2022 edition is sponsored by HS2 Academy—a premier college counseling company that has helped thousands of students gain admission into Ivy League-level universities across the world. Learn more at www.hs2academy.com . Also made possible by The Art of Applying, College Confidential, Crimson Education, Dan Lichterman, Key Education, MR. MBA®, Potomac Admissions, Prep Expert, and Prepory.  Sponsored by The Brain Domain : A Houston-based academic preparation business with glowing feedback and global operations, The Brain Domain features college counseling, test preparation, and one-on-one tutoring tailored to students’ unique learning styles.  Two hundred and two Hot Wheels cars, each two by five inches long, adorned with flames and spoilers, lined the edges of my room. My mother would urge me to put them away and go play outside, but I never wanted to. I drove those cars all around the house. They intrigued my six-year-old self. I loved my collection that I had hand picked on my own. Every single one of those 99-cent cars was mine . I never fathomed, however, that it would not take nearly as long for that collection to disappear as it took to grow. After July 6, 2006, I never saw my collection again. On that day, I squinted to get one last glance at the front door of my home. 50 Greenridge Way was a quaint, two-story home in a quiet suburb of Rockland County, New York. My mother was six months pregnant with me when my parents signed the papers in 1997. They were proud of themselves—they had something that was theirs. My mother and father were determined to achieve the American Dream. They saved up for their baby grand piano, and they worked hard so that my sister and I could paint our rooms pink and blue like the ones on the cover of PB Teen. They did not know, however, how fast what they attained could disappear. The unanticipated vicissitudes of owning a small business left my parents struggling to pay the mortgage, unable to feed the rapid growth of their dream. They desperately reached out for help and fell victim to a mortgage scam. Legally outsmarted and outspent, my family continued to struggle until we could no longer fight. After thousands of dollars of debt, countless phone calls, and many tears, we lost the battle. On July 6, 2006, we were told we had six hours to get out. Six hours. Six hours to get out of something filled with nine years of work, a lot of money and an immeasurable amount of emotion—six hours to pack up our lives and move them somewhere else. Day laborers were instructed to come and throw our belongings onto the front lawn. Family and neighbors flocked over, all agreeing to store as much as they could. I scrambled to find the things important to me. I threw my blankie, my Gameboy and my Build-A-Bear into a small duffle bag. As I rushed into my aunt’s car, my eyes glued to the movers tossing my mom’s favorite Diego Rivera painting onto the street, I felt uneasy. Many questions should have been going through my eight-year-old head, but only one did: where are my 202 cars? However, the takeaway from this experience is not what I learned about the behavior of others—it is what I learned about character. For the next five years, my family was homeless. Many doors were slammed in our faces, and we were given the “one night maximum” package in many of our family members’ homes. However, the takeaway from this experience is not what I learned about the behavior of others—it is what I learned about character. The values that cannot be touched—my experience, resilience, and faith—built more character in me than any two by five inch car or baby grand piano ever will. Losing every single one of our belongings by theft and storage unit auctions, including my 202 cars, showed my family that the intangible things that got us through hardship are everlasting. The six horus spent leaving our home felt so remarkably unequivalent to the nine years we spent enriching it, or the 8 years I spent growing my car collection. However, those unexpected losses taught me that a loss of my possessions was not a loss of my character. Even in the hotels, cars, and basements, this experience showed me that no matter how little my family had, we would always have the privilege to hope. My family has been pushed into brief bouts of homelessness since the incident, and may be facing our next bout in the coming days. Although I still worry about our financial status, a feeling of overwhelming faith creeps up my spine and deadens that anxiety. Our faith and tenacity will never be plundered like our possessions. My unseemingly unshakable phobia of losing “everything” again has diminished over the years because if I lose my possessions again, I know I will not be losing “everything.” The next chapter of my life will signal the beginning of newer, and perhaps tougher, challenges, but through all of the uncertainty and worry, I will be letting out a sigh of relief. None of our possessions, including that carefully constructed collection of two hundred and two cars, adorned with flames and spoilers, were the vehicles that drove my family through the five years of turmoil. It was our intangibles that did. Homelessness is an incredibly powerful topic to write about. Jeremy approaches the subject with touching candor, detailing how his family lost their home in pursuit of the American Dream, and how he lost his beloved Hot Wheels collection. But what makes this essay truly remarkable is not the topic; it’s the build up. Jeremy begins with descriptive imagery of his Hot Wheels and uses those cars as a motif throughout the essay. This essay could have easily opened with a line about how he is homeless, but it truly builds up to the moment he realized his family was being kicked out of their home. We feel empathy for this family, and we feel deeply connected to the writer, because we are brought along for the ride The strongest aspect of this essay is its seamless incorporation of the 202 Hot Wheels into the overall message of the essay. The strongest aspect of this essay is its seamless incorporation of the 202 Hot Wheels into the overall message of the essay. That message can come off a bit heavy-handed at times; the essay would have benefitted from more showing and less telling. But it is incredibly sincere, and the point is hammered home by the repeated use of the toy cars. By ending with the same image that opened the essay, the writer brings the story full circle, and the reader is left with a deep understanding of not only his hardship, but how he rose above that hardship. Disclaimer: With exception of the removal of identifying details, essays are reproduced as originally submitted in applications; any errors in submissions are maintained to preserve the integrity of the piece. “Black Eyeliner Does Not Make You a Non-Conformist” Several years ago, my mother told me I listen to “white people music.” And I suppose that’s true—rock ‘n’ roll tends to spring from the middle-class basements of young, white men. Though I did point out that its origins trace back to jazz musicians of the Harlem Renaissance. Also that one of the greatest guitarists of all time—dear Mr. Hendrix; may he rest in peace—was black. My devotion to punk rock began in seventh grade, when Green Day’s “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” came up on my iTunes shuffle. I started to look into their other releases, eventually immersing myself into the complete punk discography. My mother, having grown up in a racially segregated New York, was more likely to listen to Stevie Wonder than Stevie Nicks. But, she must have figured, to each her own. My young adolescent ears drank in the raw, chaotic beauty, an echo of the pain of the past. So while my compatriots indulged in the music of Taylor Swift, One Direction, and Lady Gaga, my tacky Hot Topic headphones blasted Green Day, Ramones, and The Clash. My young adolescent ears drank in the raw, chaotic beauty, an echo of the pain of the past. The thrashing, pulsating vitality of the instruments painted a picture, connecting me to the disillusioned kids who launched an epic movement of liberation some 40 years ago. Punkers question authority. Aggressively contrarian, they advocate for the other side—the side that seemed smothered silent during the post-Vietnam era. They rejected established norms. They spoke out and weren’t afraid. I had always felt different from my peers. In my girls’ prep school, the goal was to be blond and good at soccer. I was neither, which automatically deemed me “uncool.” I had a few close friends but never felt like I was part of a whole. Then came the punk philosophy, for the outliers, for those who were different. That was something I could be part of. Instead of trying to conform to my peers, I adopted an anti-conformist attitude. Much like the prematurely grey anti-hero of my favorite book, I sneered at all the “phonies” around me. I resented anything popular. Uggs? Wouldn’t buy them. Yoga pants? Never. Starbucks? Well, I could make a few concessions. I wasted so much energy on being different that I lost track of what actually made me happy. But I felt more cynical than liberated. I wasted so much energy on being different that I lost track of what actually made me happy. I insisted I didn’t care what people thought of me, which was true. Yet if I base my actions almost solely on their behavior, how could I deny their influence? Luckily, as I transitioned from a private school to a brand new public high school, I got to clean the slate. I bought yoga pants and found they were comfortable. I listened to a wider variety of music, even the kind that wasn’t 100% hardcore punk. And I was happier. I revised my punk philosophy: Do as you like—whether it fits into the “system” or not. The Beatles’s “Revolution” lyrics sum it up well: You tell me it’s the institution Well, you know You’d better free your mind instead What I think Lennon was getting at is questioning everything does not entail opposing everything. Defiance for the sake of defiance is unproductive at best, destructive at worst. I believe in life’s greater Truths, like Love and Justice. These Truths are what should govern my actions—not what’s popular and what isn’t. Striving to act on these ideals has helped me stay true to myself, regardless of what’s considered “conformist.” Perhaps I’ve failed the punk movement. We’ll have to wait and see. In the meantime, I’ll do what makes me happy and change what doesn’t. I’ll wear Doc Martens instead of Uggs; I’ll partake in a grande pumpkin spice latte; I’ll watch Gossip Girl; I’ll blare my favorite guitar solo over the speakers in my room. And that’s as punk as it gets. Ariel’s essay—a pitch-perfect portrait of coming-of-age malaise—shows that you don’t need some monumental event or life-changing epiphany to craft a compelling narrative. Not much happens over the 647 words of this essay, but the soul is in the details: the nods to her mother, the subtle Catcher in the Rye allusion, the levity to be found in her unyielding fondness for lattes. This essay follows a relatable and adaptable template: let’s call it the “blind-but-now-I-see” script. Ariel opens the piece as a causeless rebel (rocking out to Green Day, granted), but blooms into a more nuanced being with a worldview of her own making. Importantly, the young heroine’s quest is shown as much as told, with motifs like yoga pants and Uggs serving as markers of her growing maturity. The essay also showcases Ariel’s mastery of cadence—making good use of the em-dash and colon—and her willingness to experiment with prose as she spells out her capital-T Truths. Though Ariel’s story has been told and retold between the covers of countless young adult novels, she tells it with wit and warmth, portraying herself to admissions officers as a particularly self-aware, free-thinking applicant. What is love? A promise at the altar? The soft kiss of water on parched lips? A flash of his shadowed gray eyes, or the tender caress of pink pigment on her cheekbones? “I love those Jimmy Choos!” “I just love the pasta salad at La Madeleine. ” “Love you!” “Love ya more!” Love. For a word describing such a powerful emotion, it is always in the air. The word “love” has become so pervasive in everyday conversation that it hardly retains its roots in blazing passion and deep adoration. In fact, the word is thrown about so much that it becomes difficult to believe society isn’t just one huge, smitten party, with everyone holding hands and singing “Kumbaya.” In films, it’s the teenage boy’s grudging response to a doting mother. At school, it’s a habitual farewell between friends. But in my Chinese home, it’s never uttered. Watching my grandmother lie unconscious on the hospital bed, waiting for her body to shut down, was excruciatingly painful. Her final quavering breaths formed a discordant rhythm with the steady beep of hospital equipment and the unsympathetic, tapping hands of the clock. That evening, I whispered—into unhearing ears—the first, and only, “I love you” I ever said to her, my rankling guilt haunting me relentlessly for weeks after her passing. My warm confession seemed anticlimactic, met with only the coldness of my surroundings—the blank room, impassive doctors, and empty silence. I struggled to understand why the “love” that so easily rolled off my tongue when bantering with friends dissipated from my vocabulary when I spoke to my family. Do Chinese people simply love less than Americans do? As I look back on seventeen years growing up in my Chinese family, I don't feel a gaping hole where love should be. As I look back on seventeen years growing up in my Chinese family, I don’t feel a gaping hole where “love” should be. I see my grandmother with her fluff of white hair, guiding my clumsy fingers as they grip the Chinese calligraphy brush, carefully dip just enough ink onto its thick bristles, and slowly smooth the pigment over tan parchment to form wobbly Chinese characters. I taste the sweet watermelon brought to my room at 3 a.m. during finals week by a worried mother, and I hear the booming voice of my father begging me to get more sleep. I envision baba , dad, waiting in the 100 ℉ heat every day to pick me up from school, just to drive home in traffic-infested roads. My mama , mother, staying home from work to care for my cold, then feeling no resentment when she contracted it herself. My mistakes yielded stern, harsh lectures brimming with concern, while my tears assuaged mama ’s irritation. I picture that arcane emotion imprinted in tacit smiles and hidden tears—shining from chests and unabashed pride. Within the realm of my memories, I discovered a truth that lessened my crushing regret at the loss of my grandmother: just because Chinese love, ai , can never render a fondness for Britney Spears’ Toxic or be prostituted to mold description of delicious dishes, the emotion isn’t any more absent, or any less profound. Knowing that I could possibly have shared with my grandmother an implicit love that neither of us chose to address vocally, I could loosen my selfish grip on her past and allow her to ascend into her future. Although the alien expression “wo ai ni, mama, baba ,” would be met with a few awkward blinks and a “How much money do you need?” expression, I feel the fondness of my joking father like “[g]reat drums throbbing through the air [,]” and for my stern mother in “great pulsing tides[,]” as Countee Cullen articulates in Heritage. We Chinese aren’t limited by the cultural and linguistic “love” barrier; we learn, through living together as a family, through our shared experiences, the sensation of true devotion and compassion, and, if that’s not something Americans call love , then I don’t know what “love” is. Janice’s nuanced take on the word “love” proves an effective window into her Chinese culture. Here, it turns from musings about love that leave the reader eagerly anticipating Janice’s connection to the topic to a personal account of family and identity. Throughout the essay, she maintains an emotional authenticity that doesn’t feel sappy, which can be a delicate line to tread. A core strength of the essay is the way it demonstrates personal growth. It shows Janice starting at a place of guilt for only professing her love to her grandmother once, and ends with her coming to terms with the ways that love is expressed differently in her family. Through the intimate details that Janice provides about her childhood—such as her mother caring for her when she was sick—the reader gets a genuine sense of who she is and where she comes from. Throughout the essay, she maintains an emotional authenticity that doesn't feel sappy, which can be a delicate line to tread. While the essay overall reads smoothly, it could benefit from the simplification of some phrases and sentences. Clarity is more important than ornate language. Finally, the quote in the last paragraph feels unnecessary. In such an eloquent and personal essay, turning to someone else’s words seems out of place. Despite these minor weaknesses, Janice does an excellent job of writing an essay that demonstrates her insight, personal growth, and unique voice. The summer after my freshman year, I found myself in an old classroom holding a blue dry erase-marker, realizing what should have been obvious: I had no idea how to be a teacher. As an active speech and debate competitor, I was chosen as a volunteer instructor for an elementary public speaking camp hosted by my high school. For the first time, I would have the opportunity to experience the classroom from the other side of the teacher’s desk. My responsibility was simple: in two weeks, take sixteen fifth graders and turn them into confident, persuasive speakers. I walked into class the first morning, enthusiastically looking forward to the opportunity to share my knowledge, experiences, and stories. I was hoping for motivated kids, eager to learn, attentive to my every word. Instead, I got Spencer, who thought class was a good time to train his basketball skills by tossing crumpled speeches into the trash can from afar. I got Monica, who refused to speak, and I got James, who didn’t understand the difference between “voice projection” and “screaming.” I got London, who enjoyed doodling on her desk with permanent marker, and I got Arnav, who thought I wouldn’t notice him playing Angry Birds all day. The only questions I got were “When’s lunch break?” and “Why are you giving us homework?” and the only time I got my students to raise their hands was when I asked “How many of you are only here because your parents forced you to?” Just ten minutes into class, two things hit me: Spencer’s crumpled paper ball, and the realization that teaching was hard. When I was younger, I thought that a good teacher was one that gave high-fives after class. Later, of course, I knew it was far more complicated than that. I thought about teachers I admired and their memorable qualities. They were knowledgeable, enthusiastic, and inspiring. Their classes were always fun, and they always taught me something. There was plenty I wanted to teach, from metaphors to logical fallacies. But most importantly, I wanted my students to enjoy public speaking, to love giving speeches as much as I did. And that’s when I realized the most important quality of my favorite teachers: passion. They loved their subject and passed that love on to their students. While it wouldn’t be easy, I wanted to do the same. Every day for two weeks, I searched for creative ways to inspire and teach my students. I helped London speak on her love for art; I had Arnav debate about cell phone policies in schools. And by the end of the camp, I realized that my sixteen students all saw me not as a high school student, but as a teacher. I took their questions, shared my enthusiasm, and by the time camp was over, they weren’t just learning, but enjoying learning. I was on the other side of the teacher's desk, but I hadn't stopped learning. I was on the other side of the teacher’s desk, but I hadn’t stopped learning. Each day, I was learning how to communicate more effectively, how to deal with new challenges and circumstances, and how to be a better teacher. I once thought that being an adult meant knowing all the answers. But in reality, adults, even teachers, constantly have more to learn. I made the transition away from being a child during those weeks, but I did not and would not transition away from being a learner. When class ended each afternoon, I would cap my blue dry-erase marker, give high-fives to the students as they walked out the door, and watch as their parents picked them up. I was confident that when my students were asked the inevitable questions of “Did you learn something today?” and “Did you have fun?” their answers would be a resounding yes. And even as their teacher, I learned and had fun too. Phillip’s choice of subject matter is carefully considered: he doesn’t attempt to dazzle us with any flashy exploits or overwhelm us with the breadth and depth of his achievements. Instead, he chooses a simple success story, of his experience working with kids at a public speaking camp, that highlights his personal growth. It's important to note that even though Phillip's story depicts a success, a good college essay need not end in triumph. The story has a complete narrative arc, with a definite beginning, middle, and end. Phillip describes a distinct set of opinions that characterize each phase of his short teaching career, illustrated with colorful descriptions of typical moments for each. There are also certain symmetries between the beginning and end (the blue marker, for example) that leave the reader with a sense of finality and satisfaction. In addition, Phillip’s voice throughout the story is phenomenal. His humor feels natural, and he’s able to make the reader aware of his positive qualities without bragging or posturing; he shows them to us, through the story and through his subject, rather than loudly announcing them. His writing is confident and clear and doesn’t distract at all from the content of the essay. It’s important to note that even though Phillip’s story depicts a success, a good college essay need not end in triumph. If you try to create a victory where there isn’t really one, you run the risk of sounding insincere. You have plenty of other places to list your accomplishments! Sponsored by Advanced Ivy Prep : Give yourself an edge. Ivy League Ph.D. and former admissions interviewer Laura Rogers helps students craft the perfect college essay and offers strategy consultations to students of all ages.  Clear, hopeful melodies break the silence of the night. Playing a crudely fashioned bamboo pipe, in the midst of sullen inmates—this is how I envision my grandfather. Never giving up hope, he played every evening to replace images of bloodshed with memories of loved ones at home. While my grandfather describes the horrors of his experience in a forced labor camp during the Cultural Revolution, I could only grasp at fragments to comprehend the story of his struggle. I floundered in this gulf of cultural disparity. As a child, visiting China each summer was a time of happiness, but it was also a time of frustration and alienation. Running up to my grandpa, I racked my brain to recall phrases supposedly ingrained from Saturday morning Chinese classes. Other than my initial greeting of “Ni hao, ye ye!” (“Hello, grandpa”), however, I struggled to form coherent sentences. Unsatisfied, I would scamper away to find his battered bamboo flute, and this time, with my eyes, silently beg him to play. Although I struggled to communicate clearly through Chinese, in these moments, no words were necessary. I cherished this connection—a relationship built upon flowing melodies rather than broken phrases. After each impromptu concert, he carefully guided my fingers along the smooth, worn body of the flute, clapping after I successfully played my first tentative note. At the time, however, I was unaware of that through sharing music, we created language of emotion, a language that spanned the gulf of cultural differences. Through these lessons, I discovered an inherent inclination toward music and a drive to understand this universal language of expression. Years later, staring at sheets of music in front of me at the end of a long rehearsal, I saw a jumbled mess of black dots. After playing through “An American Elegy” several times, unable to infuse emotion into its reverent melodies that celebrated the lives lost at Columbine, we—the All-State Band—were stopped yet again by our conductor Dr. Nicholson. He directed us to focus solely on the climax of the piece, the Columbine Alma Mater. He urged us to think of home, to think of hope, to think of what it meant to be American, and to fill the measures with these memories. When we played the song again, this time imbued with recollections of times when hope was necessary, “An American Elegy” became more than notes on a page; it evolved into a tapestry woven from the thread of our life stories. As I saw him wiping tears, I smiled in relief as I realized through music I could finally express the previously inexpressible. The night of the concert, in the lyrical harmonies of the climax, I envisioned my grandfather, exhausted after a long day of labor, instilling hope in the hearts of others through his bamboo flute. He played his own “elegy” to celebrate the lives of those who had passed. At home that night, no words were necessary when I played the alma mater for my grandfather through the video call. As I saw him wiping tears, I smiled in relief as I realized through music I could finally express the previously inexpressible. Reminded of warm summer nights, the roles now reversed, I understood the lingual barrier as a blessing in disguise, allowing us to discover our own language. Music became a bridge, spanning the gulf between my grandfather and me, and it taught me that communication could extend beyond spoken language. Through our relationship, I learned that to understand someone is not only to hear the words that they say, but also to empathize and feel as they do. With this realization, I search for methods of communication not only through spoken interaction, but also through shared experiences, whether they might involve the creation of music, the heat of competition, or simply laughter and joy, to cultivate stronger, more fulfilling relationships. Through this approach, I strive to become a more empathetic friend, student, and granddaughter as finding a common language has become, for me, a challenge—an invitation—to discover deeper connections. In her essay, Emily chooses the mundane over the grandiose—musical interactions with a family member over moments in an international chamber orchestra, for instance—to prove her point that the “cultural disparities” and “gulf” of comprehension that previously prevented her from reaching a harmony of understanding with her grandfather eventually dissolved once she realized that there are other, more personal ways to connect with people than language. There’s something intriguing about how Emily orients the reader with as bright of an image as “clear, hopeful melodies,” and then pairs it with something as somber as the image of a grandfather detained in a forced labor camp. That’s a very poignant pairing, and it hooks the reader. For an admissions officer who sifts through countless essays about the all-important “I,” a story that places the onus of the introduction on an entirely different individual is a welcome change from the usual. This author showcases a very distinct claim over language. In some places, the poetic language serves to reinforce the topic of the essay: that language is not necessarily the sole way to connect with people. In some parts, though, the florid language encumbers the sentences and makes them somewhat awkward. In an essay that purports to recognize how incomplete language can be in conveying ideas, using clunky language seems like a betrayal of sorts to the reader. It’s important to straddle eloquence and efficiency. The epiphany conveyed in her final paragraphs is a truly mature one, and perhaps is what adds the final oomph to this essay. The epiphany conveyed in her final paragraphs is a truly mature one, and perhaps is what adds the final “oomph” to this essay. To see a high school student writing understanding from their everyday exploits proves they are capable of deep introspection—a trait that colleges crave in their student bodies. Sponsored by One2One College Consulting : One2One College Consulting specializes in making students’ stories jump off the page, delving into each applicant’s unique personality and highlighting their key traits. Visit their Crimson Brand Studio article to learn more about One2One and their philosophy.  The man was a prodigy. He had performed for American presidents and even the Queen of England, every moment documented with autographed photos hanging in his guest bathroom. Even with a stature of 5 feet and change, his presence towered above me unforgivingly. His skeptical eye stared down at me as I struggled to balance my mom’s iPhone on its makeshift tripod . A month earlier, the Pasadena Symphony-Pops had commissioned me to create a video featuring its debuting conductor, Michael Feinstein. Now, the five-time Grammy nominee hunkered down on his piano bench, impatiently waiting for my command. With no professional equipment and little preparation beforehand, I had thrown together whatever I could find. A day before, I had taken pliers to bend a coat-hanger into a holder for the purple-cased iPhone 4. I even used a block of Post-Its to prop up a second-hand GoPro for another camera angle. Fumbling about, I felt like a child looking desperately for direction, almost expecting an adult to hand me a checklist—complete with the right questions to ask, directions to give, and instructions to complete. But I was on my own now. My “wing-it” approach to the shoot quickly became obvious, and Feinstein’s skeptical reception grew into condescension as I stumbled painfully through the interview. The filming ended, and heavy doors swung shut behind the mansion as I was escorted out. I had blown it. Academic rubrics and guidelines were straightforward—but here, being a straight-A student in the classroom held little value. For the first time, the Feinstein project had given me the opportunity to conduct my own show—but I had arrived without a baton. The MacGyver camera rigging wasn’t the flaw; in fact, I think I pulled off the creative contraption decently well considering my lack of better resources. The real failure was my complete lack of preparation and absence of confident leadership. Yes, it would’ve been easy to write off Feinstein as arrogant—he certainly didn’t serve me a generous helping of grace. He had envisioned a director with a camera crew—I was a 16-year-old amateur with my mom’s iPhone. But looking back, I realized that Feinstein had given me a valuable gift: expecting more from me than what I expected from myself. Did I want to just be the teenager with a camera phone? The interview with Feinstein was humiliating, but the experience forced me to decide if I wanted to be that director with his own camera crew. I dove head-first into editing, determined to not let my inexperience stop me. I took action. As part of the commission, I had already negotiated for the PSA to pay for professional editing software, Final Cut Pro X and Motion 5. I had a vision of what I wanted, but I also had no idea how to use these programs to get there—I was just an amateur with no film experience beyond the occasional school project with iMovie. I dove head-first into editing, determined to not let my inexperience stop me. The process was brutal—I spent countless hours reading online manuals to solve frequent problems. But every frustration fueled determination. Over the course of 80 working hours, the video progressed from a barebones slideshow of images to a multi-faceted film with customized titles and transition animations. The completed production, though far from a masterpiece, gave me a sense of accomplishment knowing that my initial failure propelled me to work beyond my expectations and fulfill my own vision. I was ready. Stepping back one last time to watch the finished video with my Pasadena Symphony-Pops clients, I no longer felt like the lost boy in the Feinstein mansion. And amidst the excitement and congratulations around me, I wished Michael would have been there too—to thank him for helping me set aside the iPhone and coat hanger, take the baton, and conduct my own show. Tackling perhaps one of the toughest prompts the Common App offers, Chad’s essay details a memorable account of a time he encountered failure—and more importantly, the lessons he took from the experience. The essay prompt is difficult to attempt because applicants need to carefully balance their need to impress admissions officers (or at the very least, not scare them off) with their essay’s need to tell a compelling story and avoid cliche. All the while, the essay must reveal something significant about its writer. His reaction to failure and embarrassment is defiant resistance rather than quiet submission. The personality Chad’s essay reveals speaks a lot to his approach in attempting this essay. His reaction to failure and embarrassment is defiant resistance rather than quiet submission. The attitude he carries throughout the challenge, from his initial approach to his subsequent refusal to quit, is reflected in details of his writing too. The highly organized structure, signposted by declarative, no-nonsense statements (“I had blown it,” “It took action,” “I was ready”) speak to this, as does the level of specificity to which he still remembers some details (“5 feet and change,” “purple-cased iPhone 4“). With this being said, this essay could have benefitted from more direct insight into Chad’s personality. Most of what readers understand is gleaned from details that may not fully capture the significance of this event to Chad. Sponsored by CollegeMapper : CollegeMapper admissions strategists guide students to gain admission to their ideal top-ranked global universities—the boutique consulting firm is trusted by clients around the world to deliver personalized excellence. CollegeMapper is based in Seattle/London/Paris.  It was five o’clock in the morning, and an intruder was in my home. His vile gurgling sounds had crawled into my room and slinked under my covers, and his deafening beeps had yanked me from sleep. I now lay frozen, listening intently for any other noises—footsteps, perhaps? The screams of my family members?—but the house fell silent. Slowly, I slid out of bed and tiptoed into the dark hallway. The intruder was definitely near—his distinct, woody odor had infiltrated the air. And with each timid step toward the kitchen, upon reaching the door, I could hardly breathe. Ever so slowly, I pushed it open and scanned the room. There, gloating next to the fridge, sat “Mr. Coffee.” Twenty-four hours earlier, this machine was not here. Twenty-four hours earlier, I had risen from my sleep and ambled into the kitchen to brew a cup of joe not from a coffee maker, but from my family’s old French press. It was a routine that jump-started every morning: grinding the oh-so-slightly toasted beans into an aromatic dust, blanketing the bottom of the glass vessel, listening to the kettle whistle on the stove, and then submerging the roast to create a bold espresso. After I filled a steaming mug, I’d be energized for the day—infused with caffeine and enthused with the artistic process. But the press was now missing; its home invaded by this new contraption. Just as my eyes narrowed with suspicion, my yawning father meandered into the room. “Hey… what is this?” I gestured to Mr. Coffee. “Ah, yes!” he chimed, “That’s our new coffee maker!” My feeling of betrayal must have been palpable, because he raised his eyebrows sharply. “Is something wrong? Margot, come on—this is much more convenient than the old press.” The machine agreed with him; blinking its bright lights and humming haughtily. Then, as if to prove that it was indeed the most efficient appliance ever created, it once again began to pump out an endless flood of muddy liquid. I deliberated. My father was right, of course—the French press was unarguably time consuming and cumbersome, especially at 5:00 AM—but it was tangible. It was real. Crafting coffee in the morning afforded me a sense of pride and artistry that always inspired the rest of my day. Every cup was a learning experience—fixing the flavors, tweaking the temperatures—but it was only now, after the press had been replaced, that I realized how much I truly appreciated it. Our French Press is now long gone, but its memory is a constant reminder to apply meaningful effort and a creative touch to all of my endeavors. Our French Press is now long gone, but its memory is a constant reminder to apply meaningful effort and a creative touch to all of my endeavors. Whether doing research, coaching a swim practice, or simply playing Scrabble with my family, I invest myself completely. Yes, I may work a little slower, I might go over the top sometimes. But I don’t want to live in a world where the familiar and cherished act of making coffee is replaced by the perfunctory push of a button. The introduction of Margot’s essay sets the stage for what promises to be a frightening account of a home invasion. In the opening paragraph, Margot has effectively conveyed a sense of fear without directly using words such as scared or frightened . She immerses the audience in a story by using sensory descriptions allowing them to fully engage with the narrative and imagine details for themselves. Through the story of a coffee machine we learn of Margot's appreciation for fine details and methodical thinking process. Through the story of a coffee machine we learn of Margot’s appreciation for fine details and methodical thinking process. The replacement of her French press with an automatic coffee machine is as scary to her as a home invasion because it represents the loss of an artistic practice which is an intrinsic part of her morning routine. More broadly, it can be taken to mean the loss of culture or craftsmanship as she generalizes this example to the rest of the world. Margot’s appreciation of something so ordinary demonstrates a level of personal depth which cannot come across on a résumé. Bold white rafters ran overhead, bearing upon their great iron shoulders the weight of the skylight above. Late evening rays streamed through these sprawling glass panes, casting a gentle glow upon all that they graced—paper and canvases and paintbrushes alike. As day became night, the soft luminescence of the art studio gave way to a fluorescent glare, defining the clean rectilinear lines of Dillon Art Center against the encroaching darkness. It was a studio like no other. Modern. Sophisticated. Professional. And it was clean and white and nice. But it just wasn't it . Because to me, there was only one "it," and "it" was a little less than two thousand miles west, an unassuming little office building located amidst a cluster of similarly unassuming little office buildings, distinguishable from one another on the outside only by the rusted numbers nailed to each door. Inside, crude photocopies of students' artwork plastered the once white walls. Those few openings in between the tapestry of art were dotted with grubby little handprints, repurposed by some overzealous young artist as another surface for creative expression. In the middle of the room lay two long tables, each covered with newspaper, upon which were scattered dried-up markers and lost erasers and bins of unwanted colored pencils. These were for the younger children. The older artists—myself included—sat around these tables with easels, in whatever space the limited confines of the studio allowed. The instructor sometimes talked, and we sometimes listened. Most of the time, though, it was just us—children, drawing and talking and laughing and sweating in the cluttered and overheated mess of an art studio. No, it was not so clean and not so white and not so nice. But I have drawn—rather, lived—in this studio for most of my past ten years. I suppose this is strange, as the rest of my life can best be characterized by everything the studio is not: cleanliness and order and structure. But then again, the studio was like nothing else in my life, beyond anything in which I've ever felt comfortable or at ease. Sure, I was frustrated at first. My carefully composed sketchbooks—the proportions just right, the contrast perfected, the whiteness of the background meticulously preserved—were often marred by the frenzied strokes of my instructor's charcoal as he tried to teach me not to draw accurately, but passionately. I hated it. But thus was the fundamental gap in my artistic understanding—the difference between the surface realities that I wanted to depict, and the profound though elusive truths of the human condition that art could explore. It was the difference between drawing a man's face and using abstraction to explore his soul. But thus was the fundamental gap in my artistic understanding—the difference between the surface realities that I wanted to depict, and the profound though elusive truths of the human condition that art could explore. And I can't tell you exactly when or why my attitude changed, but eventually my own lines began to unabashedly disregard the rules of depth or tonality to which I had once dutifully adhered, my fervor leaving in its wake black fingerprints and smudges where once had existed unsoiled whiteness. It was in this studio that I eventually made the leap into a new realm of art—a realm in which I was neither experienced nor comfortable. Apart from surface manifestations altogether, this realm was simultaneously one of austere simplicity and aesthetic intricacy, of departure from realism and immersion in reality, of intense emotion and uninhibited expression. It was the realm of lines that could tell stories, of colors and figures that meant nothing and everything. Indeed, it was the realm of disorder and messy studios and true art—a place where I could express the world like I saw it, in colors and strokes unrestrained by expectations or rules; a place where I could find refuge in the contours of my own chaotic lines; a place that was neither beautiful nor ideal, but real. No, it was not so clean and not so white and not so nice. But then again, neither is art. Perhaps the most prominent facet of Bobby’s essay is the use of imagery. It is first utilized to bring the reader into the piece and make the introduction pop, with “Late evening rays [...] casting a gentle glow” and “the soft luminescence of the art studio” becoming “a fluorescent glare.” Immediately, the reader knows what the essay will generally be about: art. Still, in the beginning of the essay, a lot of information is left out, leaving the reader begging for details to contextualize the mental images Bobby leaves them. Throughout the rest of the piece, Bobby’s use of imagery brings his essay to life, with “black fingerprints and smudges” and “unsoiled whiteness” being used to describe his art. He also uses imagery to illustrate the contrast between his organized, type A persona and the abstract art he eventually creates. One such example is “the whiteness of the background” on his sketchbook being “meticulously preserved” but yet “marred by the frenzied strokes of my instructor's charcoal.” Nevertheless, imagery alone does not provide the concrete, powerful narrative found in Bobby’s essay. One of the most powerful appeals of the essay is that it represents a coming-of-age story that echoes the Bildungsroman literary sub-genre, in which characters evolve psychologically from youth to adulthood during the story. Indeed, not only does this essay document Bobby’s development from child to young adult, but Bobby’s art also matures from something orderly and superficial to something abstract and deeply meaningful. One of the most powerful appeals of the essay is that it represents a coming-of-age story that echoes the Bildungsroman literary sub-genre, in which characters evolve psychologically from youth to adulthood during the story. What separates Bobby’s essay from a well-written story, however, is the subtextual narrative it provides the reader. Though, on the surface, Bobby’s essay explores the contrast between the abstractness of his art and the order of rest of his life, it also mirrors the history of art itself. Just as Bobby the old artist had “the proportions just right, the contrast perfected” in his sketchbook, so too did the painters of the Renaissance work tirelessly to master perspective—to make art seem as realistic as possible. Just as Bobby the new artist’s “lines began to unabashedly disregard the rules of depth or tonality,” so too did art slowly—from the playful light of Monet’s Impressionism, to the square faces of Picasso’s Cubism and the complete abstraction of Pollock’s expressionism—care less and less about how realistic it was and more about the message it conveyed. In Bobby’s words, “It was the difference between drawing a man's face and using abstraction to explore his soul.” Sponsored by College Choice Counseling: Collegecc.com has been helping students apply to college for over 15 years. Located in Birmingham, Michigan, with team members in New York and California, Collegecc.com offers educational advising, application preparation and ACT/SAT tutoring.  As a child raised on two continents, my life has been defined by the “What if…?” question. What if I had actually been born in the United States? What if my parents had not won that Green card? What if we had stayed in the USA and had not come back to Bulgaria? These are the questions whose answers I will never know (unless, of course, they invent a time machine by 2050). “Born in Bulgaria, lived in California, currently lives in Bulgaria” is what I always write in the About Me section of an Internet profile. Hidden behind that short statement is my journey of discovering where I belong. My parents moved to the United States when I was two years old. For the next four years it was my home country. I was an American. I fell in love with Dr. Seuss books and the PBS Kids TV channel, Twizzlers and pepperoni, Halloweens and Thanksgivings the yellow school bus and the “Good job!” stickers. It took just one day for all of that to disappear. When my mother said “We are moving back to Bulgaria,” I naively asked, “Is that a town or a state?” Twenty hours later I was standing in the middle of an empty room, which itself was in the middle of an unknown country. It was then that the “what if” — my newly imagined adversary—made its first appearance. It began to follow me on my way to school. It sat right behind me in class. No matter what I was doing, I could sense its ubiquitous presence. The “what if” slowly took its time over the years. Just when it seemed to have faded away, it reappeared resuming its tormenting influence on me—a constant reminder of all that could have been. What if I had won that national competition in the United States? What if I joined a Florida tennis club? What if I became a part of an American non-governmental organization? Would I value my achievements more if I had continued riding that yellow school bus every morning? But something—at first unforeseen and vastly unappreciated—gradually worked its way into my heart and mind loosening the tight grip of the “what if”—Bulgaria. I rediscovered my home country—hours spent in the library reading about Bulgaria’s history spreading over fourteen centuries, days reading books and comparing the Glagolitic and Cyrillic scripts, years traveling to some of the most remote corners of my country. It was a cathartic experience and with it finally came the discovery and acceptance of who I am. I no longer feel the need to decide where I belong. I no longer feel the need to decide where I belong. I am like a football fan that roots for both teams during the game. (If John Isner ever plays a tennis match against Grigor Dimitrov, I will definitely be like that fan.) Bulgaria and the USA are not mutually exclusive. Instead, they complement each other in me, whether it be through incorporating English words in my daily speech, eating my American pancakes with Bulgarian white brine cheese, or still having difficulty communicating through gestures (we Bulgarians are notoriously famous for shaking our heads side to side when we mean “yes” and nodding to mean “no). As a child raised on two continents, my life will be defined by the “What…?” question. What have Bulgaria and the USA given me? What can I give them back? What does the future hold for me? This time, I will not need a time machine to find the answers I am seeking. Jessica’s essay elaborates on key themes of identity as an American and Bulgarian, scholar and tennis player, and answers questions the reader will have about her extracurricular passions and motivations. The essay is a variation on the classic college essay theme where a potential hardship becomes positive. The essay is a variation on the classic college essay theme where a potential hardship becomes positive. Here, she tells the story of overcoming a life lived in constant contemplation of hypotheticals to one where duality not a source of confusion, but one that “complements” each other. Jessica’s essay suggests that she has transcended distinction and demonstrates maturity with an ability to appreciate the quirks of both her American and Bulgarian identities. Jessica’s “rediscovery” of her home country serves as an opportunity for her to mention her interests and hobbies, providing context and narrative support for the extracurricular activities she probably lists on her application. Speaking about Bulgarian history, travels, and code switching, Jessica conveys a cultural awareness and keen observation of nuance in her essay. Jessica’s essay could have been used a bit more of thorough examination of how her “rediscovery” translated to her ultimate response to the “what if” question. It takes a distinct experience—splitting a childhood between two vastly different worlds—but doesn’t go far enough in exploring the process behind her transformation to make her story of self-discovery truly substantive or original.  Harvard University 2024-25 Supplemental Essay GuideEarly Action: Nov 1 Regular Decision Deadline: Jan 1 Harvard University 2024-25 Application Essay Question ExplanationsThe Requirements: Five essays of 100 words or fewer Supplemental Essay Type(s): Diversity , Activity , Oddball Harvard Essay Prompts BreakdownThe following required five short answer questions invite you to reflect on and share how your life experiences and academic and extracurricular activities shaped you, how you will engage with others at harvard, and your aspirations for the future. each question can be answered in about 100 words., harvard has long recognized the importance of enrolling a diverse student body. how will the life experiences that shape who you are today enable you to contribute to harvard . Admissions wants to know what has made you into the person you are today and how those experiences will affect the way you engage with and contribute to the Harvard community. So, tell a story about an experience that has shaped you and connect the lessons you learned to the ways in which you will contribute to diversity on campus next fall. Start by thinking about the kinds of experiences you’ve had in the communities you’ve been a part of thus far. Then, once you’ve identified the life experience(s) that have shaped you, think ahead to how those will impact your time at Harvard. Admissions wants to know what your area of influence will look like on campus—whether that be applying the leadership skills you developed in your community theater troupe to the drama productions at Farkas Hall, celebrating intersectional identities with other members of the queer Jewish community with BAGELS , or connecting and networking with your peers through Harvard Black Students Association . Whatever you write about, make sure your response to this prompt shows that you have put some serious thought into the things that have shaped you and how you will apply those lessons and experiences to your time at Harvard next fall. Describe a time when you strongly disagreed with someone about an idea or issue. How did you communicate or engage with this person? What did you learn from this experience?Whether during a pregame pasta party with your teammates, a long bus ride with classmates, or your family Thanksgiving dinner, odds are you’ve disagreed with someone about an idea or an issue—and Harvard wants to hear about it. Admissions wants to know not only how you went about engaging with someone with an opposing viewpoint, but also what you took away from the experience. To make sure your response stands out from the pack, be as specific and purposeful as possible. What did you disagree on and how did you communicate? Maybe you used some deescalating tools you picked up from a friend of yours or, perhaps, you made an effort to see things from their point of view while still making a case for your perspective. If you can’t recall where you were at the time, no problem; but details are your friend here to add credibility. Whatever conversation you decide to write about, remember to address what you learned from the experience. Were you introduced to a point of view that you hadn’t considered before? Did you and your conversation partner find a middle ground or did you feel even more resolute in your viewpoint than you had before the conversation? Maybe what you took away wasn’t so much about the topic of the conversation, but the mechanics of holding a difficult conversation. Show Harvard that you can consider new ideas and engage with others about important issues. Briefly describe any of your extracurricular activities, employment experience, travel, or family responsibilities that have shaped who you are.Next up is a fun twist on the classic activity essay, which asks you to expand on an extracurricular endeavor that has shaped who you are. Our advice is to focus on one or two activities that have made the biggest impact on you. Although we usually urge students to write about items that haven’t appeared elsewhere on their application, the activity essay is an exception since it specifically asks you to address an item on your resume. The trick here is to pick something with meat! Maybe your trip to visit your extended family members in Thailand opened your eyes to how limited your world had been in your small Midwestern town. Perhaps four years of debate club have nurtured your communication skills and ability to speak up for yourself. Whatever activity you choose to write about, be sure to pick one that has been fundamental to your understanding of who you are. How do you hope to use your Harvard education in the future?Admissions already knows a bit about what makes you you; now they want to know why Harvard is the obvious next step in the trajectory of your life. Take some time to meditate on what you hope your life will look like after Harvard—we’re talking ten, twenty years in the future. Once you have an idea of what you hope for that person to be like or do on an average day, invite admissions into your vision and show them how a Harvard education is a pivotal step (or three) on the ladder of success to get there. Regardless of your vision, your response should cite programs, activities, and organizations that Harvard offers. Anyone can say they hope to become a renowned doctor or an attorney for the people, but not everyone is going to do their homework to show admissions that they’ve thought through exactly how they want to get there. Of course, admissions isn’t going to hold you to your blueprint, but they do want to see that you’ve given not only your decision to apply to Harvard some serious thought, but your life post-graduation as well. Top 3 things your roommates might like to know about you.With this prompt, admissions is hoping to see a different side of you, perhaps one that is less intellectual (unless that’s just who you are, in which case, rock on with your nerdy self) and a little more casual. Start by making a list. Write down everything that comes to mind. You can edit and revise later—no idea is too silly to jot down! Maybe you think your roommates should know that you just can’t not sing while in the shower (we’re talking Celine Dion, Adele, Whitney Houston) or that you make the meanest plate of rice and beans in your pressure cooker (and you love to share). Once you’ve narrowed your list down to three (3) things, see if you can weave together a narrative that gives admissions a little taste of what it would be like to hang out in the dorms with you. How do you connect with your peers? What most excites you about residential life? What are the quirks that make you you ? By the time admissions puts down your application, they should feel like your personality is jumping off the page. Why Choose College Essay Advisors for Harvard EssaysCollege Essay Advisors has over twenty years of experience guiding students one-on-one through the essay writing process for Harvard University. We take a holistic approach to these short essays, considering each student’s application package as a whole. It’s incredibly important to us that each student’s voice is preserved, and we pride ourselves in helping students to write successful Harvard University supplemental essays that differentiate them from similarly qualified applicants. Submit a contact form below to inquire about our rates and availability! About Amanda Amah View all posts by Amanda Amah »  We're waiting for your call. Frequently Asked QuestionsHarvard asks applicants to write five (5) supplemental essays. Harvard wants to learn more about the students applying. Admissions is looking to glean how your life experiences have shaped you, how you will engage with other community members on campus, your aspirations for the future, and more. Authenticity and reflection are key. You want to both ensure that you’re submitting essays that no one else could submit—meaning they contain specific details from your life or interests that aren’t easily replicable—and show that you’ve put thought and care into your response. The Harvard supplemental essays, aside from your personal statement, are the only opportunities you have to speak to admissions in your own voice. They offer insight into what it would be like to sit down and have a conversation with you while revealing how you interact with the world around you. They also speak to your writing skills and creativity. Absolutely not! The admissions committee will be reading both your Common App essay and Harvard supplements, so your essays should not overlap in content at all. Of course, it’s possible you may mention a community you belong to in your personal statement and then expand on that life experience in one of your supplements, but the story should be different and reveal new information about you that admissions couldn’t have gathered from your Common App essay alone. Each Harvard essay should be 100 words maximum. We always recommend reviewing the prompts and writing down everything that comes to mind (no censoring yourself!). Next, comb through your ideas to see if any topics jump out at you. And if you skipped the guide above, more brainstorming ideas and advice for writing memorable Harvard supplemental essays can be found there! "My son’s Advisor has been AMAZing!! She was really able to understand him, keep him on task and help him to organize his thoughts in a logical manner. His essays cleaned up so nicely. And I think he learned so much in the process too!" – CEA Parent, Harvard University, Class of 2027 "I was accepted into Harvard, Georgetown, and UT Austin. Thank you again for all of your effort, expertise, and advice in crafting my application essays. I learned and grew a lot as a writer by working with you." – CEA Student, Harvard University, Class of 2028 Contact us for information on rates and more!
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Successful Harvard Essay. I, Too, Can Dance. I was in love with the way the dainty pink mouse glided across the stage, her tutu twirling as she pirouetted and her rose-colored bow following the ...
The SPARC method of essay writing says that the best college essays show how a student can do one (or more) of these five things: Seize an opportunity, Pursue goals despite obstacles, Ask ...
In my complete analysis, I'll take you through my Common Application, Harvard supplemental application, personal statements and essays, extracurricular activities, teachers' letters of recommendation, counselor recommendation, complete high school transcript, and more. I'll also give you in-depth commentary on every part of my application.
Successful Harvard Essay. "You should scrub off the top layer of your skin whenever you lose a round," my debate teammate once advised me. "That's not practical," I replied. "Neither ...
Harvard University requires the Common Application, with its 250-650 word essay requirement, as well as their own short essay questions, included below. Harvard University Supplemental Essay Prompts Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences.
Prompt 2: Overcoming challenges. Prompt 3: Questioning a belief or idea. Prompt 4: Appreciating an influential person. Prompt 5: Transformative event. Prompt 6: Interest or hobby that inspires learning. Prompt 7: Free topic. Other interesting articles. Frequently asked questions about college application essays.
Successful Common App Essays This page features all of the successful Common App essay examples available on Squired, accepted to dozens of schools including Stanford, Harvard, Princeton, and Yale. Common App Essays →
First, identify one or two goals you have for the future—with just 150 words, you won't have space to elaborate on any more than that. Ideally, these should be relatively concrete. You don't have to have your whole life mapped out, but you do need to be a lot more specific than "Make a difference in the world.".
Fifty all-new essays that got their authors into Harvard - with updated statistics, analysis, and complete student profiles - showing what worked, what didn't, and how you can do it, too.With talented applicants coming from top high schools as well as the pressure to succeed from family and friends, it's no wonder that writing college application essays is one of the most stressful tasks ...
Harvard University Supplemental Essay Option: Books Read During the Last Twelve Months AUTHOR 1. Reading Frankenstein in ninth grade changed my relationship to classic literature. In Frankenstein, I found characters and issues that resonate in a modern context, and I began to explore the literary canon outside of the classroom.During tenth grade, I picked up Jane Eyre and fell in love with the ...
Common App Essay Examples. Here are the current Common App prompts. Click the links to jump to the examples for a specific prompt, or keep reading to review the examples for all the prompts. Prompt #1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without ...
It teaches you how to: * Get started * Stand out * Structure the best possible essay * Avoid common pitfalls 50 Successful Harvard Application Essays' all-new examples and straightforward advice make it the first stop for applicants who are looking to craft a clear, passionate, and, above all else, persuasive application essays that'll get ...
Harvard University Essay Example. Harvard University is a highly-selective school, so it's important to write strong essays to help your application stand out. In this post, we'll share an essay a real student has submitted to Harvard. (Names and identifying information have been changed, but all other details are preserved).
Harvard Essays Examples . One of the most important parts of the college application process is the essay section. Especially when you're looking at applying to Harvard, or any of the Ivy League schools, your essays need to stand out.Looking at Harvard essays examples can help give you an idea of Harvard essays that worked and stood out to the admissions team.
ESSAY. I think the most tragic part of my childhood originated from my sheer inability to find anything engraved with my name. I never had a CHAFFEE license plate on my hand-me-down red Schwinn ...
We've compiled 5 Common App essay introductions that were accepted to Harvard University to show you exactly what it takes to make an impression in your first paragraph and grab the admissions officer's attention. Prompt: Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would ...
- Avoid common pitfalls Each essay in this collection is from a Harvard student who made the cut, ... 50 Successful Harvard Application Essays' all-new examples and straightforward advice make it the first stop for college applicants who are looking to craft essays that get them accepted to the school of their dreams.
Some applications ask that you write an essay that draws on more personal reflections. These essays, sometimes called Personal Statements, are an opportunity to show the selection committee who you are as a person: your story, your values, your interests, and why you—and not your peer with a similar resume—are a perfect fit for this opportunity. These narrative essays allow you to really ...
Harvard's Extracurricular Essay: Harvard's Prompt #2: "Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences." To start, when choosing which activity or experience to write about, think about something that you are passionate about and have put in significant effort into. It should also be something that has had ...
For the 2023/24 application cycle, Harvard University has outlined specific supplemental essay prompts to understand applicants better in addition to the Common App or Coalition App questions. These questions delve into your experiences, intellectual pursuits, and personal insights. Students are required to answer each Harvard-specific question ...
According to the 2023/2024 Common Application, the Common App essay prompts are as follows: 1. Background Essay. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. 2.
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Expert guide to writing outstanding Harvard supplemental essays for 2024-25. Insider tips, examples, and personalized help from College Essay Advisors. ... Harvard University 2024-25 Application Essay Question Explanations. ... The admissions committee will be reading both your Common App essay and Harvard supplements, so your essays should not ...