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real self vs ideal self essay

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Awareness

Ideal self vs Real self

  • by Psychologs Magazine
  • January 9, 2024
  • 5 minutes read

ideal-self-vs-real-self

In the vast land of our existence, our life is all about exploring one’s self. This exploration stands as a profound and introspective journey. Our whole life is surrounded by the quest of knowing and understanding who we are while embarking on its journey and the intricate layers of it.

Humanism and Self

Humanism is the third force in Psychology. It is a perspective that emphasizes looking at the individual as a whole. It also views humans from an optimistic perspective. Humanistic Psychology or Humanism was proposed by Carl Rogers and Abraham Maslow. Knowing who one is? and What makes oneself? is the curious and most processing and wandering question that every individual has in their day-to-day lives.

Read More: The Psychology of Self-Perception

The major aspect or central focus of Roger’s conceptual framework is the concept of SELF or Self-concept.

Understanding Self-concept

Self-concept can be defined as the perception of oneself. It is the image that we have about ourselves. It is a general term for how an individual thinks, evaluates, and perceives oneself. Self-concept can also be referred to as self-awareness. It is a significant facet in Humanistic Psychology as well as in Social Psychology . The answer to the question “What am I” is a result of analyzing multiple dimensions of understanding oneself.

“The individual’s belief about himself or herself, including the person’s attributes and who and what the self is.”- Roy Baumeister (1999)

The triarchy of Self-concept

Carl Rogers believed that the self-concept is made up of three parts

The Ideal Self

  • The Real Self
  • Self-esteem

The ideal self can be understood as the self we would want to be or would like to be. It is believed as the individual’s true self. It is the desired image of the individual. This includes the vision of the individual. It remains a motivation for individuals to empower and progress towards their goals and aspirations .

The ideal self is important for an individual as it gives the individual a good direction and map towards moving forward. There would be many things or aspects that would remain as blocks or hurdles in moving further. In times like that, the ideal self would remain a key role in pursuing further. The ideal self and its psychological aspects can lead to the pursuit of having an influence or impact on the individual’s mental health and well-being. This can simply be said as what one wishes to be.

The Real Self or Self-Image

The real self is otherwise called the actual self. It can be defined as the reflection of the true nature of the individual. It includes the true characteristics, feelings, and inclinations of the individual. It is intrinsically who the individual is. The actual self is more of an authentic and individualistic approach. It leads to the recognition and embracement of qualities that lead to a more genuine and fulfilling life. This can simply be stated as the view of one’s true self of what they are.

Self-esteem or Self-worth

It is defined as the process of evaluation of one’s self which could be either positive or negative. Self-esteem also has its ground in their acknowledgement of self-concept. This can be referred to as how much one values oneself.

Read More: How to Improve Self-Esteem: 8 Tips to Give You a Boost

Alignment and Struggle

Along with the learning of the Ideal self and actual self, it is very important to know the consistency between the both. Knowing consistency involves the aspects of Congruence and Incongruence. Not always, the ideal self aligned with the actual self. When the ideal self and actual self are in a match with each other, it is said to be congruent. When there lies a mismatch, it is said to be Incongruent. This incongruence can lower the individual’s self-esteem and self-worth. It can sometimes negatively impair the individual. The roots of Incongruence can be found to be because of any distortion in the early stages of development- any issue regarding parental affection. Many a time, whenever individuals combat differences between the ideal self and the real or actual self, it involves many internal conflicts. This dissonance can be expressed through stress, anxiety, or a sense of inadequacy.

Development of Self-concept

Self-concept develops in the time frame of the individual’s initial stages of development say Childhood. It is the reflection of the individual’s interaction with family members, friends, or peers, and also as a communication of various individuals they come across in their lives. It can also be imbibed through the society we come across, the media we get through, and also through various idols and ideologies we happen to have throughout our lives, which happens to develop self-concept.

Based on Roger’s idealisation of self-concept, Lewis in the year 1990 theorized self-concept to have two major key components:

  • The existential self
  • The categorical self

Self-concept- static or dynamic?

Self-concept cannot be said as static or permanent. It tends to change. This change in one’s self can be due to the environment. The place, the people, and the things around might have a huge impact on development as well as change in the self-concept.

Culture and Self

Society and culture have a greater influence in shaping the individual’s view of oneself. From the earlier stages of development, we are exposed to various norms, standards, values, and principles that contribute to the presentation of oneself. These external influences many times can create a huge impact on the inhibition as well as the expression of qualities, traits, and values.

In the intricate differences and prolonged dance between the ideal self and actual self, lies each of the individual’s exploration of knowing and searching oneself. The importance of family, friends, relatives, closest circle, peers, or colleagues has a greater impact on the development of self-concept. The discrepancy between the ideal self and the actual self is something that drives the individual towards moving forward. It helps in the cultivation of understanding or knowing about oneself, nurturing growth, while driving force during tough and challenging situations. Self-concept is an arching and multi-dimensional framework that encompasses physical, emotional, social, spiritual, and many other aspects of an individual.

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  • https://www.berkeleywellbeing.com/self-concept.html
  • https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-self-concept-2795865
  • https://www.simplypsychology.org/self-concept.html
  • https://pressbooks.online.ucf.edu/lumenpsychology/chapter/humanistic-approaches/
  • https://www.structural-learning.com/post/carl-rogers-theory#:~:text=According%20to%20Rogers%20self%20is,what%20happens%20in%20real%20life
  • https://courses.lumenlearning.com/wm-lifespandevelopment/chapter/developing-a-concept-of-self/

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Introduction

The real self: unveiling authenticity, the ideal self: aspirations and growth.

Sweet V

Negotiating the Gap

Striving for balance.

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Home — Essay Samples — Psychology — Human Behavior — Person-Centered Theory: Real Self and Ideal Self

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Person-centered Theory: Real Self and Ideal Self

  • Categories: Human Behavior Individual

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Published: Feb 9, 2023

Words: 1682 | Pages: 4 | 9 min read

  • Congruence – this means the counsellor needs to be genuine and honest with the client bout how they perceive them.
  • Empathy – this means the counsellor needs to be understanding of the client’s feelings, thoughts and point of view without feeling sorry for them (as this would be sympathy)
  • UPR – this is unconditional positive regard, meaning the counsellor needs to not judge the client and value them. There are not be any conditions for the client to fulfil to feel worthy and respected.
  • A growing openness to experience
  • An increasingly existential lifestyle
  • Increasing organismic trust
  • Freedom of choice
  • Higher levels of creativity
  • Reliability and constructiveness
  • A rich full life 

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real self vs ideal self essay

17 Ideal Self Examples: Tap into Your Idealized Self-Image

Do you want to improve your self-image and become more confident? Do you have a clear vision of your ideal self and how to achieve it? If you are looking for some inspiration and guidance, check out these **ideal self examples** from psychology . You will learn how to define your ideal self, how to compare it with your self-image, and how to bridge the gap between them.

real self vs ideal self essay

Sanju Pradeepa

Ideal self examples

Everyone has that inner voice, that innate knowledge of what’s best for them. But how do you listen to it? How do you harness that power within you? The answer lies in understanding and embracing your ideal self.

Your ideal self is an embodiment of the person you want to be. When we imagine our ideal selves, we can create a clear path toward our desired future. The more we focus on this identity, the closer we come to manifest it in reality. But what does an ideal self, look like?

In this article, let’s explore 17 ideal self examples and learn how each can be used to tap into your inner power and guide yourself toward your true purpose. Let’s start by exploring the foundations of the ideal self where which all its parts are built.

Table of Contents

What is an ideal self.

What is an Ideal Self

Do you want to take your life to the next level but feel stuck on where to begin? As it turns out, you may need to look within yourself and begin to define what your ideal self looks like.

Your ideal self is best described as the person you want to become the version of yourself that embodies all of your goals and capabilities. It’s how you see yourself when you visualize yourself achieving all your hopes and dreams . Defining this version of yourself can be incredibly beneficial in helping you actively turn into this person.

The best way to start defining your ideal self is by asking yourself some key questions: What does success look like for me? What traits would I like to embody? How do I want other people to perceive me? Answering these questions will help provide a solid foundation for creating an action plan that leads toward your ideal self.

By asking and answering these questions, figuring out what traits make up your ideal self, and allowing this knowledge to guide your decisions, you can take action toward becoming the person you aspire to be.

How to Identify Your Ideal Self.

Everyone has a version of their ideal self. You know the person you’d be if only you had more time, more energy, or a few fewer habits. But what does that version look like, and how do you get there?

Getting to know your ideal self requires first defining what that means to you. It looks different for everyone. Here are examples of what an ideal self may look like:

start your journey to becoming your best self today

  • Find joy in the present. Your ideal self lives fully in the present and finds happiness in your everyday moments.
  • Stay organized: Your ideal self has a system that allows them to stay organized and on top of all your tasks.
  • Take responsibility for mistakes: Your ideal self understands that things don’t always go according to plan, but they don’t shy away from addressing their mistakes.
  • Step outside your comfort zone. Developing yourself means embracing change and taking risks, even ones that may feel uncomfortable.
  • Make time for physical activity. Spare time is often devoted to activities that enhance your well-being, such as exercise or yoga.
  • Develop good relationships: Your ideal self strives to foster meaningful relationships with people who have a positive impact on your life and well-being.
  • Show kindness to yourself and others. Compassion is the cornerstone on which your ideal self should operate; it helps not only yourself but those around you as well.
  • Be honest with yourself and others. Honesty isn’t just the best policy. It’s how one achieves true intimacy.

Ideal Self Examples

What are Ideal Self Examples

Ideal self examples can vary depending on the person’s preferences, aspirations, and influences. They can also change over time as a person grows and learns more about themselves and the world. 

1. Connecting to Your Roots

Do you feel an inner strength when you’re around your family and friends? That’s because self-identity is closely related to our sense of purpose and comes from the connections we have with others. Connecting to your roots; your parents, grandparents, siblings, extended family, or cultural heritage is a great way to remind yourself of who you are and where you come from, which can bring on a feeling of empowerment.

Tips for Connecting to Your Roots:

  • Get back in touch with relatives or friends that represent some part of your heritage, even if it just means starting a conversation online.
  • Read up on stories from your culture or learn more about its practices and traditions.
  • Visit places important to them: museums, neighborhoods, churches.

2. Setting Positive Intentions

Another example of an ideal self is setting positive intentions. Setting your intention for the day helps you focus your energy and attention on what matters to you and gives you a sense of control over your day-to-day life.

Think about it: by taking the time to set a positive intention, you’re telling the universe what kind of day you want to have. Your intentions become the north star guiding the decisions you make throughout your day.

Here are a couple of things to think about when setting positive intentions:

  • Focus on progress: Instead of aiming for perfection , focus on progress and congratulate yourself for small wins. This helps to build momentum and keep you motivated.
  • Make it meaningful. Whether it’s spending more time with loved ones or simply being more organized, your intention should be something that resonates with your purpose in life.
  • Believe in yourself. It may sound cliché, but having faith in yourself is key. Believe that you can achieve whatever it is that you’re setting out to do.

By practicing daily intention-setting activities such as writing in a journal or simply repeating positive mantras, we can become our best selves and harness our inner power for lasting change.

4. Developing a Positive Mindset and Outlook

Are you ready to tap into your inner power? Developing a positive mindset and outlook is key. You need to be able to meet problems with optimism and an open mind. This kind of approach requires you to:

  • Believe in your own capabilities and strengths.
  • Have an open mind for new ideas;
  • See yourself in the best light;
  • View failures and obstacles as valuable learning opportunities, and
  • Keep your focus on the growth that comes from the challenge instead of its difficulty.

When you start to approach life from this perspective, it will be easier for you to trust yourself and take risks that could ultimately lead to success. Instead of shying away from challenges or feeling overwhelmed by them, look at them as another way for you to practice resilience, learn something new, and grow as a person. It’s hard to make meaningful changes if you never leave your comfort zone, so don’t be afraid to try something new.

5. Cultivating self-compassion and kindness

No matter your current state, you can always strive to develop a healthier sense of self . Practicing self-compassion and kindness can benefit you in more ways than one.

Empathy for yourself  means that you understand the challenges of life and extend the same compassion to yourself that you would to others. Remind yourself that you are human and mistakes are inevitable; it’s part of the learning process. Replace negative talk with positive reinforcement, and shower yourself with love and understanding. Treat yourself as a friend rather than an enemy.

Practicing gratitude: Gratitude is a powerful emotion that can have lasting, beneficial effects on your mental well-being. When times get tough, take a breath and focus on all the wonderful things in your life, no matter how small they might seem. The simple act of reflecting on all the good can be enough to inject joy into even the toughest days.

Take some time today to cultivate self-compassion and kindness within yourself; your mental well-being will thank you later.

6. Letting Go of Limiting Beliefs and Negative Emotions

When you’re trying to find your ideal self, it’s important to let go of any limiting beliefs or negative emotions that you may be holding onto. That might sound daunting, how do you even go about doing that? Well, here are some tips:

  • Acknowledge the feelings and beliefs that are holding you back. This is the first step in being able to let go and move forward.
  • Once you recognize these feelings, be kind to yourself and forgive yourself for feeling these thoughts or emotions.
  • Move on from what no longer serves you by changing your mindset and reframing the way you think about the situation or yourself.
  • When possible, remove yourself from any environments that may be bringing up those old beliefs and emotions, such as relationships or situations associated with them.
  • Bring positive new people and experiences into your life that help elevate your conscious awareness of who you truly are; this will assist in letting go of any old baggage from the past.

7. Taking Ownership of Your Decisions

Nobody likes to make decisions, especially when they involve taking risks. They can be pretty intimidating, too. But not making decisions only increases the likelihood of regrets, and no one wants that. That’s why taking ownership of your decisions is essential.

You could think of this as a form of self-care. When you learn to make decisions based on what’s best for you and not because you’re trying to please or owe somebody else anything, it sends a strong message: You’re in charge here. Taking ownership of your decisions and having the courage to own up to them lets you live life on your own terms with confidence .

8. Practice Making Decisions.

Decision-making doesn’t come easy for everyone, so be sure to practice. Start by checking in with yourself: What do I really want? Then f ocus on what matters most to you . and then ask yourself: Is this decision beneficial for achieving my goal? Taking the time to carefully consider these questions will help foster a greater sense of control over your life and create a more meaningful life experience overall.

The only way to become our ideal selves is by owning up to the choices we've made

By taking responsibility for our actions and being accountable for our decisions, we can make positive progress in the areas we want to work on and become better versions of ourselves both mentally and physically, today and always.

9. Nurturing Relationships with Others

Nurturing relationships with others is an important part of achieving your ideal self. It’s easy to get caught up in your own life, passions , and goals, but it’s important to remember that other people are important too.

The more you invest in meaningful relationships with others, the more grounded you’ll feel in yourself and the more balanced your life will be. And when things get tough , your network of friends and family can offer support when you need it most.

Investing Your Time: Developing strong relationships requires investing time in them. Spend quality time with close family and friends; reach out to make connections with new people; and don’t forget to really listen to what they have to say.

Value Those Closest to You: Your closest relationships are extremely important for your overall wellbeing. Show your loved ones how much you care about them by encouraging those around you, checking in often, and offering a shoulder when needed. Being a shoulder for someone else gives us a sense of purpose and fulfillment, which helps us connect deeply with our inner selves.

10. Take a stand for what you believe in.

Being comfortable expressing opinions is an essential part of being true to yourself and the world around you, whatever they may be. Standing behind what matters most to us captivates others, builds trust, and brings us closer together. Speak up when it’s necessary or helpful for yourself or another person or because that needs support. Make sure it aligns with your values as well as those around you.

11. Practicing Habits for Success

The tenth example of your ideal self is one where you have achieved success by practicing habits for success . To become successful requires a tremendous amount of hard work and dedication, and this won’t come without forming healthy habits first.

Here are some tips to help you practice the right habits for success:

Prioritize Your Goals: The best way to ensure success is to prioritize your goals. Make sure to focus on what’s most important and break it down into manageable tasks. This will give you tangible goals to achieve instead of having scattered thoughts and ideas that don’t get done on time.

Plan Ahead: Success doesn’t come from doing nothing but from taking the proactive steps necessary to achieve it. Developing a plan that outlines each goal and its corresponding deadline is key to staying organized while on the path to achieving your vision . This will help ensure that all tasks are completed in a timely manner and that nothing gets forgotten along the way.

Take Action: Once you have set your plan in motion, take action on it. It’s important to not only focus on setting goals but also take actionable steps each day towards achieving them. Make sure to track your progress regularly so that you stay motivated and accountable throughout the process. The key is consistent action over a period of time; the more consistent effort you put in, the closer you will be to reaching your goals.

12. Establishing Purpose and Meaning in Life

Do you ever find yourself wondering what life is all about and what you’re really supposed to be doing with it? Establishing purpose and meaning in life is the 12th example of your ideal self.

Having a strong sense of purpose and meaning in life can bring immense joy, pride, and a sense of mastery. It ensures that your life is not just filled with endless busywork that leads to no real fulfillment. To really embrace this part of yourself, ask yourself questions like:

  • What makes me feel most connected to my intrinsic values?
  • What roles help me feel most authentic and empowered?
  • How do I want to contribute to the lives of others?

Once you have a clearer vision for your purpose and meaning in life, you can go about taking active steps towards achieving them. Get creative about how you can bring it into reality, maybe by boosting your physical or mental well-being, enhancing relationships, building a legacy through meaningful work, or creating something from nothing. Each small action will remind you why life is so worth living.

13. Being True to Yourself

This means staying honest, staying humble, and having the courage to speak up for what you believe in. It’s about following your heart, not what other people tell you you should believe.

Taking time for yourself is important for this; it’s a way to reflect on what matters most to you and how you want to live your life . To practice being true, you don’t have to have it all figured out; just be mindful of the decisions that shape your life and always try to ground them in honesty, integrity, and kindness.

It can also help you focus on aspects of yourself that are unique or different because it’s those differences that often make us stronger. Celebrating those differences not just within ourselves but with others can also create moments of connection and understanding, which can help build empathy with one another.

To summarize, being true to yourself means:

  • Staying honest
  • Staying humble
  • Being courageous enough to speak up for what you believe in
  • Following your heart over other people’s expectations
  • Taking time for yourself and reflecting on what matters most
  • Celebrating the unique aspects that make each of us special

14. Embracing Change and Growth

We all face a world that is ever-changing, and it can be difficult to keep up with the pace of progress. But embracing change doesn’t just have to be a challenge; it can also be a source of growth and development .

When you embrace change and growth, you come to recognize that life is always evolving and never static, and that can be incredibly empowering. To practice this, try to focus on the positive effects of change, such as:

  • Taking on new challenges
  • Becoming more self-resilient
  • Seeing life’s events in a new light
  • Gathering new experiences
  • enjoying greater variety in life
  • Finding motivation in the future
  • Expand your horizons.

15. Developing an abundance mindset

When it comes to harnessing your inner power, an abundance mindset is key. Instead of focusing on scarcity and what we don’t have, an abundance mindset appreciates what we do have and how much potential is at our fingertips.

Being Grateful: One way to get into an abundance mindset is to focus on being grateful for what you do have. Gratitude unlocks your ability to see the beauty in all aspects of life and helps you discover solutions that you didn’t think were available to begin with. It shifts your perspective from one of lack or lack of control to one where you can appreciate the small miracles that surround us every day.

Releasing Fear and Limitations: An abundance mindset also celebrates releasing fear and limitations from our lives. Don’t get fixated on the “have to” or “should” mentality when it comes to how you spend your time or energy. Learn how to find joy in any activity while also recognizing when something isn’t worth sacrificing your wellbeing for in the first place.

Taking a moment each day to really absorb the incredible power within yourself will help you make better choices each day and learn how valuable having an abundance mindset can be for making progress towards whatever goals are most important to you in life.

16. Believe in Yourself and Your Goals.

Learning to believe in yourself and your goals is a powerful way to harness your inner power. The moment you commit to a goal, no matter how small, you are already taking the first step towards achieving it. Believe that you can do it, and strive to make it happen. This will keep you motivated on the journey ahead and help you reach heights you never thought possible.

When working toward a goal, practice positive self-talk and remind yourself of meaningful affirmations. Some examples of affirmations include:

  • I choose to be confident in myself.
  • I am capable of achieving my goals.
  • I trust that my decisions are wise.
  • Every day is an opportunity for me to grow.

On top of that, take the time to appreciate your progress and celebrate each milestone that you pass. Acknowledge what has been accomplished and enjoy the feeling of success. Remember, no achievement is too small; embrace them all.

17. Acknowledging Your Emotions

Acknowledging our emotions is no easy feat, but it is a surefire way to foster our inner power. When we take the time to lean into our emotions, we are taking a step toward self-empowerment . Not only does it build our emotional intelligence and make us better equipped to handle difficult times, but it also gives us the opportunity to learn from our feelings.

It’s important to recognize that feelings are neither good nor bad; they simply exist. Embracing them can be uncomfortable, but acknowledging your feelings is an act of courage that can lead to personal growth and help you gain insight into your life and values.

Here are examples of how you can acknowledge your emotions:

  • Identify what triggered the feeling.
  • Honor the emotion.
  • Label the emotion.
  • Consider how your body responds (e.g., increased heart rate, tightened muscles).
  • Accept that it’s ok to feel what you do ; don’t judge yourself for feeling a certain way.

By taking the time to name and understand your emotions , you can gain clarity on how they’re influencing what’s truly important in your life, ultimately empowering you in all areas of life.

No matter who you are or what your goals are, you’re capable of harnessing your inner power and potential to achieve great things. You may not know it, but within you lies a perfect version of yourself an ideal self that’s waiting to be realized.

It’s up to you to tap into that potential and set out on a journey of self-discovery to bring it to life. By exploring these examples we’ve discussed in this article, you can get a better understanding of what your ideal self looks like and how to get closer to achieving it.

It’s time to take control of your life and believe in the power of positive self-transformation. Discover the strength and courage within yourself to become the ideal version of yourself.

  • Ideal Self by Asha Ganesan from https://link.springer.com/,( Encyclopedia of Personality and Individual Differences / Reference work entry)
  • HOW TO BE THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF from Tony Robbins ( https://www.tonyrobbins.com/ )

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Sanju Danthanarayana

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Home / Essay Samples / Psychology / Self Concept / Real vs. Ideal Self: A Journey of Self-Discovery

Real vs. Ideal Self: A Journey of Self-Discovery

  • Category: Life , Psychology , Sociology
  • Topic: Personality , Self Concept , Self Identity

Pages: 3 (1407 words)

Views: 1092

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  • Adjustment is a process, 
  • By this process the individual tries to bring a harmonious, stable and satisfying relationship with his environment, i.e., by this process the individual alters his impulses and responses to fit the demands of his environment, 
  • By this process the individuals tries to satisfy his needs and desires in accordance with environmental demands on the one hand, and his abilities and limitations on the other, 
  • A good adjustment always aims at long-term satisfaction instead of satisfying an immediate intense needs”. 
  • Adequate feeling of security, 
  • Reasonable degree of self-evaluation (insight), 
  • Realistic life goals, 
  • Effective contact with reality,
  • Integration and consistency of personality, 
  • Ability to learn from experience, (vii) Adequate spontaneity, 
  • Appropriate emotionality, 
  • Ability to satisfy the requirements of group coupled with some degree of emancipation from the group (as expressed in individuality),
  • Adequate but exaggerated bodily desires with the ability to gratify them in an approved fashion. 
  • The value system of one's culture differs from another.
  • Even in the same culture value systems change from time to time.
  • Adjustment is to be evaluated considering an individual's developmental level.
  • Adjustment involves a continuous variable.
  • A well adjusted person establishes a harmonious, stable and satisfying relationship with the environment. He meets his needs and fulfils his desires with the resources available in the environment form the view point of his own welfare and that of others. He has realistic self-perception, and appraises his own abilities as well as limitations realistically.
  • He has control on impulses, thoughts, habits, emotions and behavior in terms of self-imposed principles or of demands made by the society. He enjoys a mental life, which is free from depressions, intense fears, acute anxiety, hostility, sense of guilt, insecurity and disruption of thought etc., to a great extent.

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